Click on the thumbnail to view a printable cd sleeve.- Title: Post-Ides
- Artist: Trex
- Timespan: 2007
- Theme: right after ides of march
- Length: 78:00
- Tracks: 13
- Lyrics: 13
- MP3s: 13 play all locally
- Rating: ** [2] (1 rating) rate this album
Track List
Notes
This continues where Coy Pun left off: more aimless guitar improvs. The title refers to the fact that these started right after the ides of march.
Since most of these songs have no redeeming value, I kept editing to a minimum.
However, some of the lyrics are funny, in a geeky sort of way. See if you can enjoy it.
Songs
We Walking Around
- Post-Ides track 1
- recorded: 2007-03-16
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:29
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This is a pretty horrible start to a pretty horrible album. There's no planning, no spark of ideas. It's just an excuse to make noise. I edited out the false starts, which were even worse.
Lyrics to "We Walking Around":
16 march 2007 yes, that's right, i'm bored at work again and, uh, i told myself i'd finish all my tasks and then afterwards play some guitar i have no idea what i'll play; i haven't practiced guitar i just throw on the dictaphone and then start playing that's the extent of my practice so we walking around and we see the trees and the and the birds and the bees and we start to freeze and we feel weak in the knees and we start to sneeze and i do not remember what i'm supposed to be singing and i do not remember what i'm supposed to be doing and i do not remember hey, what happened to the singing
(c) 2007 Trex
Pickless
- Post-Ides track 2
- recorded: 2007-03-16
- location: Bellingham
- length: 0:30
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
I guess I had lost the pick. Not much here.
Lyrics to "Pickless":
i don't remember where i put the pick i don't know where i put the pick where did i put the pick where did i put the pick if i keep doing this my fingers will break getting tired that was bad
(c) 2007 Trex
Would Have Been Nice
- Post-Ides track 3
- recorded: 2007-03-16
- location: Bellingham
- length: 11:36
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This improv ended up stumbling, by pure luck, into a memorable melody. Of course, this one lucky moment encouraged me to keep playing improv after improv for months to come. Lucky you!
Lyrics to "Would Have Been Nice":
oh it would have been nice if i had tuned the guitar before now it would have been considerate if i had practiced at least a couple days this month it would have been nice if i had taken some vocal lessons and it would have been nice if had tuned the guitar it would have been nice if i had practiced this month it would have been nice if i had written a few chords beforehand it would have been nice if i had found the guitar picks it would have been nice if i had practiced oh it would have been nice if i had bought a real tape instead of this cheap one because we all know that there's very little things worse than bad tape because what if record a classic moment and all i have is a bad tape oh it would have been nice if there had been some classic moments it would have been nice if i had practiced beforehand it would have been nice if i had found the guitar pick instead of just banging around wearing my fingers out which just distracts me from the difficulty of playing and god knows i have difficulties already now it would have been nice if i had found the guitar picks and found the nice tape so i could record this classic we all like the bridge it's the artistic moment we all like the bridge it's allowed to be pretentious we all like the bridge 'cause we know it's temporary we all like the bridge maybe i just speak for myself it would have been nice if i had played an interesting solo it would have been nice if i had written a part or two it would have been nice if i had done something original instead of simply sticking to the 1 2 chord blues 'cause i've done it before done it so many times before i've done it before and you can hear my hoarse is growing voice good one trav ok last ??? this tune now i think it is started ??? get going it's too hot outside for it to be snowing but still i feel a chilly atmosphere in the audience if i had an infrared camera it would show just space because the people paying attention to me and perhaps you do not find that surprising given my history of poor quality control i'm not just talking about trex, tripecac is far from being gold oh it would have been nice if i had been born with talents it would have been nice if i had been born with a talent it would have been nice if i had been born with talent instead of born with the sense of a sense of humor that people do not think is funny it would have been nice if i had kept the music away from computers as i had planned once it would have been nice if i had phrased that better it would have been nice if i had practiced it would have been nice if i had kept the music away from computers as i had promised myself once i i told myself that i should keep music and computers separate, oh oh it would have been nice if i had practiced that rhyme a couple times 'cause it's a bit awkward you see it's a bit awkward you see
(c) 2007 Trex
Upgrade Intro
- Post-Ides track 4
- recorded: 2007-03-19
- location: Bellingham
- length: 0:23
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, talking
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Intro to "Upgrade Blues". Shows how unprepared I was. And still am.
Lyrics to "Upgrade Intro":
2007 march 19th probably the last thing i'm gonna fit on this side still haven't found the pick still haven't found the pick still haven't practiced still haven't planned anything no progress, zero i have made no progress on the guitar no progress really neither buying a computer because i need a new one
(c) 2007 Trex
Upgrade Blues
- Post-Ides track 5
- recorded: 2007-03-19
- location: Bellingham
- length: 5:33
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Sluggish improv about upgrading my computer. It then starts talking about upgrading power sources in general. Kinda funny.
Lyrics to "Upgrade Blues":
i'm gonna call this my upgrade blues gotta upgrade soon gotta upgrade soon do i have the room do i have the room to upgrade my computer did i say upgrade because i don't mean upgrade i mean add another computer yes, another computer yes, some people think i have too many i'm not gonna argue some people think i should just throw the old ones away now there i'll argue 'cause i think: if i keep a computer i can make it do something i like to ??? computer and have it do something and if that something isn't cool well that's ok as long as it is active if that something isn't cool well that is ok as long as i am consumimg electricity because i believe in the trickle down by consuming more electricity i hasten the time when we have an eletrical crisis or a power crisis or an oil crisis and that will prompt the scientists you know, the real thinkers of the world to find an alternative energy so just open up your garden hoses and keep your lights all night long keep your cars a running hasten the moment when we switch to nuclear power or solar, something like that recycling is overrated because it just procrastinates the crisis and the crisis is what we need to get the nice changes a ha do not recycle, do not turn off your lights do not all your food waste as much as you can right now because it will trigger something good you gotta bring on the crisis so the thinkers get to moving bring on the crisis 'cause right now everyone's just procrastinating you've gotta you've gotta add the pressure 'cause you know science operates best under pressure politicians don't even move without pressure 'cause everyone knows a piano cannot be heard without pressure and neither can a guitar you've gotta, you've gotta add a little pressure to get the notes a sounding you've gotta add a little crisis to get the world improving don't eat all your food don't put good songs on the tape just waste the tape do not practice waste the tape do not practice just the waste tape do not practice just the waste tape do not practice
(c) 2007 Trex
Preset Handicap
- Post-Ides track 6
- recorded: 2007-03-19
- location: Bellingham
- length: 3:11
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
I was stumbling around trying to find a cool preset. The end result is hyper, obnoxious, offensive, but kinda funny.
Lyrics to "Preset Handicap":
hey today is march the 19th 2007 i finished the last tape just a couple seconds ago and i'm starting the next tape, obviously this is the next tape you know in the future this will be an old tape but right now it's a somewhat new tape it's actually the newest tape that i know yes it is, indeedy indeedy, indeedy indeedy what a waste of time, you're telling me this i will not rewind because i am multitasking all right, here's the deal these are long tapes, they're about 2 hours long i'll say about because they're not exactly you know they always give a little extra but i'm not really doing a very good job of keeping quality control here ah shoot you know i messed up, oh i don't care i labeled the last tape wrong [snort] i mean, i got the dates right, ok but i think i put down piano i should have just been guitar all right today is the 19th of march 2007 i am 14 years old i am so gifted i am so gifted i i am 3 i am 3 years old and i am gifted listen to my guitar playing isn't this amazing for a 3 year old i am 3 years old and i can play like the best of them i'm a girl and i can play guitar trying to give myself an edge you know, it's called a handicap i'm a 3 year old girl and i can play a guitar i'm a 3 year old girl i'm a 3 year old girl i'm a 3 year old girl i like my handicap do you ??? can you tell ??? can you tell that i am handicapped can you tell that i am handicapped i am a 3 year old girl this is excruciating isn't it? let's try this again i just need a different sound because, you know what i'm not a musician; i'm a button pusher 'cause i just push a button and the pod pro makes all these sounds i'm not actually playing that was a preset you know, the 3 year old girl, that was a preset this preset is the 4 year old boy, yeah baby i am a 4 year old boy can you tell that i am handicapped yeah that sounds remarkably similar to the 3 year old girl preset i'm gonna try this preset i'm a 7 year old down syndrome boy can you tell that i am handicapped i kinda like that preset even if it wasn't funny so i'm gonna repeat it a little bit but i'm gonna vary it i press this other button it's called vary it i press the vary it button and you get this beautiful piece of music oh god that sounds remarkably similar to the last beautiful beautiful preset how about this
(c) 2007 Trex
14 Year Old Travis
- Post-Ides track 7
- recorded: 2007-03-19
- location: Bellingham
- length: 6:55
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This continues the silly idea from "Preset Handicap". It puts all the blame on my 14 year old self. At least that's better than blaming the Pod Pro's presets. I guess.
Lyrics to "14 Year Old Travis":
i am a 14 year old high school student with angst in my veins and a little bit of alcohol from sneaking the liquor from the liquor cabinet a 14 year old student likes to sneak the liquor from the liquor cabinet oh this is laborious 14 year old student sneaks the liquor from the liquor cabinet 14 year old student think fast boy where you gonna go with the song idea this fast boy whatcha gonna do with the song idea gonna drink on it gonna sleep on it gonna get up and drink on it gonna drink on it gonna have a wink on it what do 14 year olds know about how i don't think i'm hitting any chords right what do 14 year olds know about liquor cabinets ask a 14 year old to define the liquor cabinet and you'll just get a blank stare and silence in the air 'cause they don't know what a liquor cabinet is hey 14 year old go fetch my guitar pick; i lost it hey 14 year old travis come out of the photo and fetch my guitar pick; i lost it you you look so innocent in your dorky clothes i'm still not hitting the right chords and i think i know why because you never bothered to find that guitar pick you never bothered to practice hey you 14 year old travis, get off your but and study some chords 'cause look at me now; i'm crippled by you hey 14 year old travis stop playing with that stupid ipecac; you guys suck hey 14 year old travis put down that casio and pick up your dad's guitar, be a rock star hey 14 year old travis get rid of that mullet; it looks really dorky hey 14 year old travis get off the computer, get down your ??? and get some fresh air, boy boy, boy hey 14 year old travis hey 14 year old travis wake up, wake up, wake up why you snoozing time is losing hey 14 year old travis get your butt in gear hey 14 year old travis i still can't solo because you didn't practice enough it's all your fault yeah hey 14 year old travis i can't think of anything else to say i think this is the last verse i'm just gonna jam it out now hey 14 year old travis if you had practiced more i would have had a better ending
(c) 2007 Trex
Found the Pick
- Post-Ides track 8
- recorded: 2007-03-19
- location: Bellingham
- length: 1:56
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Noodling around on the guitar while babbling. Yuck.
Lyrics to "Found the Pick":
all right i finally did find a guitar pick but i did not find an opportunity to practice this is just a few minutes after a really long search for the guitar pick it was in a little plastic thing i haven't tuned either i think i'm just gonna play until giovanna gets home it's 5:51 now; she should be home in about 10 minutes you will be surprised and disappointed because i don't know how to play ??? there maybe was a time when i could play better notes probably corresponding to the time where i would have put forth some effort into the guitar oh that's so by the way i have the pick now it's still march 19th 2001 ha ha ha ha the pick lets me play real choppy the pick lets me play choppy oh gosh the pick doesn't enhance my performance at all
(c) 2007 Trex
Why the Guitar
- Electric Picks track 10
- Post-Ides track 9
- recorded: 2007-03-19
- location: Bellingham
- length: 3:18
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Decent (though sloppy) guitar riff, but clumbsy lyrics.
Lyrics to "Why the Guitar":
i don't know anymore what the guitar is for tripecac don't use it and trex abuse it i don't know what the guitar is for i don't know why i bother practice while the tape is playing i don't know why i bother to make up stupid lyrics tripecac don't use it and trex just abuse it the guitar is an instrument of pain tripecac don't use it and trex just abuse it my voice is just about the same yes it hurts my wrist, i start to feel pissed at my inability to play the good chords i really wish i had practiced to more i guess i could have but i don't feel like it tripecac won't use this and trex will just abuse this oh this is a waste of tape tripecac overthinks and trex just stinks why am i putting this on the tape i don't know why i go why i go ahead these dumb ideas, improvising deas oh that makes no no no sense tripecac overthinks and trex just stinks so why do i keep on doing this oh tripecac overthinks and ipecac and anchovies just stunk oh that doesn't make any sense but nothing does amen
(c) 2007 Trex
Buzzing Torture
- Post-Ides track 10
- recorded: 2007-03-19
- location: Bellingham
- length: 3:21
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Something was buzzing. Of course, that became the basis for this improv's lyrics.
Lyrics to "Buzzing Torture":
same day, yet more waste of tape ok step 1: think of the next chord you're gonna play and toy with it tease it a little bit i guess i'm gonna play in this chord ??? ok i'm getting feedback from one of these in this room something's buzzing something's buzzing zoom zoom zoom... [scat] i can only play the 8th notes 16th notes are too fast for me i don't know what i'm doing i can only play the 8th notes 16th notes are too fast for me i don't know what i'm doing i don't know what i'm doing something's buzzing in here something's buzzing when i play the uh this you know it's 5:59; in about a minute giovanna should get home and that ends this torture that ends this torture giovanna should get home and the torture's ending giovanna should get home that means the tortured ending giovanna should get home the torture's ending you know something valuable better not be buzzing it better be something cheap it might be the 4 track that's pretty cheap yeah so the pick might give my fingers stamina but it certainly doesn't give me musical ability giovanna's not home yet but i think trex has just about milked itself dry therefore i'm gonna switch to the tripec-eye, good bye
(c) 2007 Trex
I Don't Have the Talent
- Post-Ides track 11
- recorded: 2007-03-20
- location: Bellingham
- length: 3:29
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
More improvising. Note: as of 2009-01-12, Giovanna still doesn't have the CPA. :(
Lyrics to "I Don't Have the Talent":
the next day, 20 march giovanna just found out that she passed her final cpa exam she has to do a few other little things but then she should be a cpa so i'm gonna make this little song to celebrate it's gonna sound very familiar to all the other songs because i don't have the talent that it takes to do anything different i don't have the talent that it takes to get the gpa which is the guitar p a yeah i don't have the talent that it takes to get the guitar personalized asset i don't have the talent that it takes to talk about anything other than myself i don't have the talent that it takes no no, i don't, no i don't i don't have the talent that it takes to do her justice in a song i don't have the talent that it takes to do anything for long 'cause i wallow in mediocrity why am i always talking about me why am i always talking about me god this is horrible i mean here it is, her special day and i'm just wailing and wailing away about how inept i am at the guitar ok so we've gotta change tack here a bit you know, this is not working
(c) 2007 Trex
Worn Welcome
- Post-Ides track 12
- recorded: 2007-03-20
- location: Bellingham
- length: 15:43
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This epic jam is kinda catchy and funny, at times. It's really long, however, and might indeed wear out its welcome.
Lyrics to "Worn Welcome":
one more attempt at doing something introverted
something not quite so introverted
one more attempt and then i really have to go back to work
because it is like 1:30
so this song is entitled: me me me me me me me
something keeps buzzing, i don't know what it is
i just hope it's not a good, expensive piece of equipment
you know, i really don't know any more chords
so you wonder why i'm persisting in recording
so you wonder why i'm persisting documenting
so you wonder why i persist in singing
so you wonder why i persist in playing
when i i'm clearly so awful
i'm clearly pathetic
i dropped the guitar pick
i dropped the guitar pick
fortunately i found a pen
i'm just playing with the pen
i dropped the pen
i bet you wonder why i persist in playing
after having ing ing
dropped both the guitar pick and the pen
i bet you wonder why i persist in singing
when i clearly do not have a grasp on the vocals
and my guitar playing is equally inept
as is my sense of timing
why do you keep playing, travis
why do you keep recording
why do you keep persisting
why do you keep, what do you find so rewarding
resist the urge to edit this travis
it's not worth it, it's not worth it
i'm clearly addressing myself at this point
because no other person would bother to listen to this
this is probably gonna be on an mp3 somewhere
i have no idea what i'm gonna call this song
i have no idea; should i make up a name now?
how about epic poopoo
no
probably just introverted introversion
no, that's dumb
something choppy
poopoo chop, poop chop
poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo
poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo
[repeat]
poopoo john paul, poopoo john paul, poopoo john paul, poopoo john paul
poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo
poopoo john paul, poopoo john paul, poopoo john paul, poopoo poopoo
poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo, poopoo poopoo
poopoo john paul, poopoo poopoo, poopoo repeat the, poopoo poopoo
poop repeat the joke, repeat the joke, [scat]
tongue twister
cannot say it
can't even lick it
oh god
called wearning about your welcome
how about worn welcome
how about that, worn welcome
so you put on your shirt and you call it your welcome
your shirt is therefore your worn welcome
so you put on your pants and you call your pants welcome
your pants are therefore worn welcome
you put on your hat and you call it your welcome
your hat is therefore your worn welcome
you put on your shoes, you call it your welcome
your shoes are therefore your worn welcome
i'm looking for the guitar pick if you haven't noticed
so you play your guitar and you call it your welcome
you wear the guitar; it's your worn welcome
so you eat a bowl of ice cream and you put it on your head
and your call it your ice cream, your worn ice cream
oh gosh
so you put pick up your pick and you pick up your pen
and guess what you call them, your worn welcome
this is, this song does not deserve to be more than
like a minute and a half long
i sincerely hope i don't turn this into like a 10 minute mp3
'cause it ain't worth that much space
it's not worth the 10 megabytes it takes to hold 10 minutes worth of this junk
it's just not worth the time
what's the whole point of trex
it's just the
god, it's like the
it's like the worst bootlegs in the world
i mean i'm sure there are some people who are even worse than this
but not many
i i honestly don't know the point of trex
i don't know the point of tripecac
i don't know the point of trex
i think trex has worn out its welcome
as for tripecac, i just don't know
i need some rules
i need some direction
here i go, talking about myself again
on a day of giovanna finding out that she got her 4th cpa done
here i go, talking about myself again all the time
i guess it's natural for people to think about themselves
at a time of other people's success, i guess
maybe it's just natural for introverts to think about themselves
at a time of other people's success
if someone else has a failure
does the introvert think about himself at that point too
does the introvert think of his own successes
at a time of other perper's failure
perper, perper, what's a perper?
so you put on your perper, you call it your welcome
your worn welcome
no seriously, i just do not know why i bother recording this stuff
am i waiting for some hidden moments of brilliance
i would think that brilliance would come as a weird, unique combination of notes
a melody that emerges from chaos
so what's the value of repeating something over and over again
what, i i mean i'm playing it safely right now
what are the chances that i am actually going to stumble upon something interestimg
by playing it safe you eliminate the opportunity to succeed
unless you are smart, in which case safety is a course to success
but when it comes to music, i'm not very smart
it's all about luck for me, just
it's just all about luck for me, you know
it's why i'm so dependent on ??? improvisation
as you can tell, i'm not very good at it
i can't even talk correctly
i bet if you count the measures, i just was lost
and if you attempt to put this song to a metronome
it's not gonna work 'cause i'm, i'm just wailing
but in a very safe way which eliminates the chance of success
so what's the point of trex if i repeat myself too much
i think the key of trex is to keep the songs short
don't do these epic things they just don't work, it's just a waste of mp3
a waste of time especially, oh my god, if i have to transcribe all this stuff
i don't want to transcribe all this stuff
you know, that would be horrid
i should just zip it and play the music and not, not do the lyrics
oh this song is gonna be such a nightmare to transcribe
a horrible, horrible nightmare to transcribe
i'm tempted not to do it
i'm tempted not to do it
i'm tempted not to do it
i'm tempted not to do it
yeah when i do these long things with lots of vocals
it's just one song, one idea, and a lot of bad playing
a waste of tape, a waste of disk space, a waste of time
so why do it, that's the whole question
sometimes trex isn't quite so boring
sometimes i keep things short
i just don't remember the last time that was
i guess on the positive side this is a form of practice
every time i repeat this i am strengthening my fingers
and i am strengthening my sense of rhythm
not that i'm the incredible hulk of rhythm
or even the boromir of rhythm
or even the frodo of rhythm
i'm more like the sick bilbo of rhythm
i'm the bilbo of rhythm, wanna hear my tune
bilbo of rhythm, alone in my hobbit room
i'm the bilbo of rhythm, old and white haired
i'm the bilbo of rhythm, hear a step on the stairs
hear a step on the stairs, who could it be
it's the ant coming to turning to the amplifier off
i have no idea if i'm gonna transcribe that
that was horrible
(c) 2007 Trex
73 Year Old Travis
- Post-Ides track 13
- recorded: 2007-03-20
- location: Bellingham
- length: 19:36
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Long, repetitive epic. The lyrics are kind of a sequel to "14 Year Old Travis".
Lyrics to "73 Year Old Travis":
20th of march 2046 2046 i tuned the guitar finally and i found the pick i'm 73 today 73 and 2 months i still sound young because i eat mostly vegetables i'm 73 today and i found my pick and i found my pick it's good news to me that i found my pick it's exciting news to me that i found my pick that i found my pick that i found my pick that i found my pick that i found my pick that i found my pick that i found my pick that i found my pick that i found my pick [scat] lost my teeth again under the bed so i'm 73 years old and i live under the bridge in a cardboard box got fired from 14 jobs in the 2020s i don't wanna call them the 20s because i know some people who were around in the 1920s they also eat their vegetables my grandma was around 1920 she's gotta be about 150 years old today that's what i call longevity my sister, my sister's a landscape architect she's 72, no she's 71, no actually she's only 70 i always forget; that's the alzheimer's kicking in as you can tell, my accent has reverted to virginia because i had to move back to virginia after i got kicked out of washington state for playing the guitar too loud actually i got kicked out for playing the guitar too poorly so this is a bootleg recording i found an old tape recorder from the 2000s some call those the oughties but i think that's kind of pretentious an old tape recorder, that's the point, an old tape i reckon it's been about 40 years since i recorded to tape 39 actually and i reckon my guitar playing hasn't really that improved that much because it's been about 39 years since i've practiced you know there was one day in 2007 i think that i actually played more than half an hour at a time i didn't accomplish much basically filled up a side of a tape with crap but here i am 73 years old i call this my birth year since i was born in 1973 but i'm 73, get it you got people born after 2000 ??? ??? at all i'm 73 this year eating my vegetables still eat my vegetables i still eat my raison bran cereal for breakfast still have a drink of corona light or red cheap wine now and again don't touch the bud lite don't touch the canned beer don't really touch the hard liquor much 'cause that messes everything up can't play the guitar if you have too much hard liquor you know, funny thing is, guitar went out of fashion around 2030 no one plays the guitar now, nobody everything's synthesizers and neural implants you know, to be honest, everything's just loops no one plays intruments anymore that went out of fashion, you know, 30 years ago these days everything is bleeps and blips but you know i'm kinda old fashioned so i have this guitar which i found in the gully next to my cardboard box picked up the guitar, plugged it into an old pod pro and amp which i found in that gully also found a power outlet power outlets are rare too 'cause you know after the us nuked the entire middle east there wasn't much oil left they had this power shortage for about 20 years however, some of us are lucky we found our power cords get it, power chords, ha ha ha ha so i got this musician's humor and since there ain't no musicians no more no one's gonna get that joke my accent keeps changing, doesn't it ah shoot i dropped the pick again i always am dropping this pick because what can you expect from 73 year old fingers yeah i think i see the pick but then again i can't trust my eyes my 73 year old eyes you know i had to give up contacts back around 2040 and the reason is, they didn't have contacts anymore you know, i wore that last pair for not just 2 1/2 weeks like i usually did 2 1/2 years by the time ??? me and my eyes were so red ??? that 2 1/2 years severe oxygen deprivation my doctor called it my pupils had shrunk to the size of a pin head speaking of pin heads can't think of a joke i was gonna say a joke about pin heads but you know my 73 year old mind just does not process data like it used to you know back when i was in my 40s, 50s i was kinda smart you know back then i had 3 cardboard boxes i had a whole, i had a whole empire of cardboard boxes gosh if my accent was better, more consistent now my accent's just weird, funky, half southern half i don't know what just just know you that's what you get, 73 years old eat lots of vegetables but my accent's not doing so hot no it ain't anyway as i was saying there' not many traditional musicians anymore i reckon i'm probably the strongest guitarist this side of the mississippi maybe 'cause i hear there's another guy on the other side of the mississippi who's equally old fashioned; he's 84 he has 2 guitars; one's acoustic and one's electric i just got this electric one if i had an acoustic i bet i could practice more often not that i practice it's, like i said, it's been about 40 years since i practiced is my accent georgian now i just don't get it where's this accent from you know i bet it's those georgian cockroaches that have been living with me in the cardboard box under the bridge i guess i'm picking up some things from them, besides disease i'm picking up the weird accents from those roaches i'm also picking up a few pennies now and again 'cause i'm picking their pockets you know, roaches have gotten big i remember when i was a child roaches were only couple inches log now roaches are more like a couple decainches, get it, decainches no one gets that joke because the old half-standard, half-metric system went out of style just about as quickly as it came into style that was around 225, 2025, sorry you know, decminutes, decaseconds, decainches, decapounds yeah that was a fad for a while but it went out of style so did uh chord changes you know we used to we used to vary our songs there'd be progressions now everything's repetition, repetition, repetition 'cause everything's cut and paste you know people just can't be bothered to put in a chord; everything is verse oh great my accent's changing now it's half british, half i don't know what it's by way of all these roaches; i get their accents and why do i keep mimicking them subconsciously but that's what happens when you are 73 years old and you live in a cardboard box i very soggy cardboard box mind ya you know i could use a couple dollars to upgrade the cardboard box i would love to live on the other side of the gully you just gotta drive out the other homeless guitar players now they're not real guitar players they're just wanna-be; they use the air guitar i don't use the air guitar anymore i think it's because i don't hear it you know people have such great imaginations now i don't; i gotta hear the notes you know, call me old fashioned, called me literal minded call me limited in my cognitive ability but i gotta hear the notes i can't just pretend, i can't i just, i just can't it's like role playing i just can't do it you know those dungeons and dragons were out of style in the 1980s you know, and the air guitar geeks, i just, i they might be cool now but i just don't get it so i got myself a real guitar a real pod pro a real punk attitude no one knows what punk means anymore i asked my friend the other day what punk meant he said: punk, what you talking about, punk, what's punk? i think i heard of punk but i don't remember what punk means see, he, like me, has this mercuric accent he also a problem with roaches we all have problems with roaches but i got a guitar and an amplified and a pod pro so while he just fumes about the roaches i can actually sing about them here, for example, is a song now keep in mind that we don't have chord, chord progressions in the 2040s you know, i don't know who'm i'm talking to my grandkids, or my great-grandkids or just the legions of travfans out there somewhere i'm sure someday i'll find a travfan or 2 some day someone will have heard of tripecac and trex and tripecaca and trippy chat and trippy cat and all those other bands i tried anyway keep in mind we don't have chord progressions in the 2040s we might in the future, we certainly did in the past and here's my song it's called: go away roaches, i'm not open for business go away little roaches i'm not open for business yeah i came tantalizingly close to a chord change there tantalizingly close, but you know to be honest i don't think i remember what a chord change sounds like anymore i'm just gonna play some random notes on the guitar and i'll assume that in the future you guys know what i'm doing because honestly no one today does i'm the only one who plays the guitar this side of the mississippi, i reckon you know, there's only about 20 of us alive; everyone else died in the holocaust better eat your vegetables if you want to live to be old as me all those other people they didn't eat enough vegetables you know they were always eating the mcdonald's food, drinking their bud lite me, i survived yeah, i've got five antennae, 6 arms hey but that helps me play the guitar so here we go hey little roaches, get out of my house hey little roaches, go chase that mouse hey little roaches give me a break i'm practicing guitar so that someday i can sing a song to the people who want me to sing a song i sure wanna do what those people come along at this rate i think i'm gonna live a couple centuries 'cause i eat my vegibles and enjoy a nice clean breeze and i don't drink beer from a can i know that doesn't make me a real man i still prefer my corona light and my raison bran eat your vegetables i tell everyone but they never listen to me 'cause veggies are no fun i say, but i say, you will drop dead someday eat your vegibles, that's what i say but they always turn away they think i'm a crazy old fart but i, i laugh behind their backs 'cause i know, i know they ain't coming back they going off to die like all the other billion people who don't eat their vegibles you gotta eat your vegibles they don't eat their vegibles they don't eat their vegibles no one will their vegibles anymore and so they drop dead on the chair or the floor no one will their vegibles anymore that's why i'm 73 years, i'm the oldest this side of the mississippi i'm 73 and i'm the oldest old geezer i'm 73 in my birth year, my golden year i'm 73 aha, look at me i can sing and play and i still read and run at the same time while everybody else just dropping dead around me like flies i attribute my longevity to vegibles i attribute my musical ability to blind luck frankly, i think i suck thank you, see you in another 50 years bye bye
(c) 2007 Trex