Click on the thumbnail to view a printable cd sleeve.- Title: Mayonandon
- Artist: Trex
- Timespan: 2007
- Theme: still more from may 2007
- Length: 71:04
- Tracks: 21
- Lyrics: 20
- MP3s: 21 play all locally
- Rating: ** [2] (1 rating) rate this album
Track List
Notes
The mayhem continues.
Here's more [mostly] mindless jams from the eternal month.
Songs
Hasselhoff
- Mayonandon track 1
- recorded: 2007-05-11
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:41
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Inspired by a drunken celebrity video circulating at the time.
Lyrics to "Hasselhoff":
11 may 2007 1 2 3 4 passed out on the floor don't bother me anymore let me eat in peace passed out again will you still be my friend let me eat in peace let me eat in peace hasselhoff will you like me eat in peace i'm a star you know i'm a star look how far i've come i'm on the floor again give me some more again hasselhoff
(c) 2007 Trex
Naming Hassle
- Mayonandon track 2
- recorded: 2007-05-11
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:25
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
A song about naming the previous song. Same musical idea. It collapses, and then searches for musical ideas. A mess.
Lyrics to "Naming Hassle":
we gotta call it something other than hasselhoff that's just too obvious call it um i don't know what we'll call it hassel this is called naming the hassle naming the hassel but the last song we'll call it uh what what will we call it we gotta think what will we call it what will we call it what will we call it what will we call it... oh heck it's the same song we'll call it naming hasselhof or naming hassle naming hassle naming hassle that's it that's naming hassle that's it i don't know naming hassle how about naming hassle ok this one this song is called oh god i'm almost done with this tape this is so sad i do not deserve to be almost done with this tape that i haven't done anything cool with it yet
(c) 2007 Trex
Sudden Flash
- Mayonandon track 3
- recorded: 2007-05-11
- location: Bellingham
- length: 3:38
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
I guess I had a sudden flash. I don't remember it now. Decent guitar sound.
Lyrics to "Sudden Flash":
i had a sudden flash it comes from northern virginia it was the trail that i used to bike and rollerblade in northern virginia it went by a store i remember the ??? now i haven't thought of that in years probably in about a decade and that's it for now
(c) 2007 Trex
Music Bug
- Mayonandon track 4
- recorded: 2007-05-11
- location: Bellingham
- length: 4:06
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Pretty well sung and played. Great build-up. Sloppy ending.
Lyrics to "Music Bug":
even though it is inconvenient i always gravitate to the guitar even though it is inconvenient i always come to the studio i cannot get enough of the music i cannot get enough of the creative process even though it takes time away from work even though it takes time away from cleaning the house i can't get enough of music and i don't think i ever will 'cause music's in my blood some people have white cells but i got music cells with headphones on them they look like little sperms swimming through my blood making connections with the eggs in my blood which are wearing headphones too making babies synapses fire and out comes the music out comes the music out comes the music out comes the music i got a whole colony of music inside of me i got a whole civilization of little sperms and eggs and they're singing their tunes and they're filling the room and they're singing their tunes they're filling the room and they're singing their tunes filling the room ??? the music bug has got me i'm infected with the love for the tunes i can produce i just can't stop coming in here and making my own little racket i don't care what the neighbors thinks when i kick up the juice 'cause i got the music bug i'm infected by the music horrible ending
(c) 2007 Trex
Arms Off
- Mayonandon track 5
- recorded: 2007-05-11
- location: Bellingham
- length: 3:34
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Not quite catchy, but at least it finishes off another day.
Lyrics to "Arms Off":
2 3 4 i keep playing my arms off don't got many muscles left and as i keep playing my accuracy decreases stamina leaking out through the holes in my vest i'm not really wearing a vest but it rhymed so i used it that's about all you can expect from me when the exhaustion my vocabulary decreases cannot think so fast when i'm ired on my feet cannot think so fast when i'm tired on my feet so i play exhausted blisters make the plucking painful still i keep keep playing and playing all night until eventually repetition becomes grating becomes grating becomes grating 'cause like my voice everybody just wants me to do instrumentals becomes grating becomes grating 'cause like my voice everybody thinks i need to go to a dentist hopefully the dentist will accidentally cut my tongue out and then i will be quiet and everybody will be so happy i'll just focus on the melodies and while i'm at it maybe i can go to the eye doctor maybe he can accidentally remove both of my hands i will be incapable of strumming the guitar maybe the silence will be honey after all these cds of trex and tripecac and ipecac and anchovies trex and tripecac and anchovies and ipecac
(c) 2007 Trex
Aborted Bike Ride
- Mayonandon track 6
- recorded: 2007-05-14
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:54
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
I had a hard time getting this song started.
Lyrics to "Aborted Bike Ride":
14th of may 2007 yikes i blew it let's try this again 1 2 3 4 we're going on a bike ride gonna have a good time gonna see eagles and vultures gonna try to find a lake we're gonna bike real fast going home ??? impress ourselves everybody likes to go for a bike ride everybody likes to go for an epic bike ride everybody likes to go for a bike ride gonna go for a bike ride find the lake see the vutures and some bunnies too if we're lucky we'll maybe see a snake everything is going ok for me and you gonna go for a bike ride oh god
(c) 2007 Trex
Bike Ride
- Mayonandon track 7
- recorded: 2007-05-14
- location: Bellingham
- length: 4:00
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This is the "good" version. Not too bad. Not too good either. Just kinda there.
Lyrics to "Bike Ride":
this is take 2 we set out early from fairhaven heading up to sunset try to find the mount baker highway do you have the odometer set do you have the odometer set we're gonna go for a bike ride ??? odometer we're gonna go for a bike ride how far are we gonna go today going for a bike ride gonna pedal and pedal and take some pictures gonna eat a snake and look at the birds gonna like the sunshine and the shade gonna have fun wherever we can on our bike ride on our bike ride on our bike ride i'm feeling hot inside gonna be sore next week but that's ok 'cause it's a proud feeling that way exhausted can barely move but the memories are what causes us to groove on our bike ride i love our bike ride on our bike ride gonna see how far we can go gonna see how our endurance lasts we're doing better than last year and that's what counts bike ride measure ourselves bike ride test ourselves bike ride treat ourselves bike ride love ourselves gonna go for a bike ride in the spring going for a bike ride this is our thing going for the bike ride to see the flowers going for the bike ride pedal power gonna look at the bay gonna look at the lake gonna like everything that we see today gonna go up the ??? going to the sky and see the fields and see the hills see the turkeys and the llamas everything is going ok on our bike ride bike ride bike ride feel good inside we feel good inside we feel good inside we feel good inside bike ride
(c) 2007 Trex
Boy Scout Ramble
- Mayonandon track 8
- recorded: 2007-05-14
- location: Bellingham
- length: 1:52
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This got pretty crude. I had to cut out the worst part.
Lyrics to "Boy Scout Ramble":
again today's the 14th of may i suspect i'm gonna finish this tape it's only a couple minutes until the end that last song was okay in my estimation this song is not 'cause i haven't done any preparation the last song was okay in my estimation this song is not 'cause i haven't done any preparation that last song was okay in my estimation but this one isn't 'cause i haven't done any preparation if you don't prepare then you will never win boy scout are prepared and they always win everybody wants to be and/or date a boy scout boy scouts are their own biggest fans boy scout leaders want to see the boy scouts turn into mans i am a boy scout wanna fall in love with a boy scout just kidding that is sick and so are boy scouts all right on the next tape i better do a better job than this this is just pathetic i have no idea how these tapes even sound you know i just keep unwrapping them and i keep on recording the next one and the next one and the next one and the next one and the next one they just keep going and going and going like the little energizer bunnies that the boy scouts like to use in their ??? molasses boy scouts come from the south where you gotta be a boy and you gotta be a scout and if you're either one you're eligible for manli
(c) 2007 Trex
New Tape Apology
- Mayonandon track 9
- recorded: 2007-05-14
- location: Bellingham
- length: 1:57
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This starts off a new tape. Pretty sludgy.
Lyrics to "New Tape Apology":
today is the 14th of may i'm sorry to start the tape this way to be honest i have nothing to say i just want to take the time to play i forgot the a/c people are coming today i really can't be away from the phone for very long i gotta go now
(c) 2007 Trex
Version Explicit
- Mayonandon track 10
- recorded: 2007-05-14
- location: Bellingham
- length: 0:49
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Yet another tuneless, mindless jam. It gets crude and ends with a caveat.
Lyrics to "Version Explicit":
the doctor takes the patient's urine sample yum yum yum the doctor says the patient barfs the doctor takes the patient's barf the patient barfs again the nurse drinks the patient's barf and urine sample [laugh] that was the explicit lyric version
(c) 2007 Trex
Version Radio
- Mayonandon track 11
- recorded: 2007-05-14
- location: Bellingham
- length: 1:12
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Cleaner version, but still dumb.
Lyrics to "Version Radio":
this is the radio edit the doctor takes the patient's bleep the patient bleeps the doctor bleep bleep the bleep bleep bleep bleep you guys are so sensitive you are so ignorant too you have no sense of humor bleep the doctor drinks the patient that was the ep version also not suitable for airplay
(c) 2007 Trex
Version PG
- Mayonandon track 12
- recorded: 2007-05-14
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:31
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Starts clean and cute, descends into typical gross humor.
Lyrics to "Version PG":
this is the pg version the bunny walked across the river the river was frozen it was too cold outside the eagle saw the birdie crossing the bunny heard the eagle cry and the eagle swooped down towards the helpless bunny and the bunny shrieked and cried and tried to get away but the eagle was faster and had the bunny in his sights as he swooped down and the bunny terrified tripped over his own feet and the eagle came down and he grasped the bunny with his talons and shreded the bunny into little bits of bacon eat the bunny chompy chompy bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny fur bunny flesh bunny bones it tastes so fresh yummy yummy yummy yummy bunny bunny yummy yummy yummy yummy bunny bunny the eagle smiled with delighted skill he said hey vulture will you come over here feel free to eat your fill and the vulture said eagle i do not trust you because last time you tried to get me over here and you bit my wing off and the eagle said that's not true i'm an epileptic eagle and i cannot help what i bite i'm an epileptic eagle and i cannot help whom i fight epileptic eagle i i i i am ??? one of my sins with this bunny i'm shredding it to bits to bits to bits to bits to bits... aw that was stupid
(c) 2007 Trex
Milieu
- Mayonandon track 13
- recorded: 2007-05-14
- location: Bellingham
- length: 4:56
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Pretty dark. Very repetitive.
Lyrics to "Milieu":
i thought we had a time planned out i thought we had a routine worked out i thought we had an itinerary i thought distruption was only temporary i do not feel like socializing why must you bring these people into my life i do not feel like fraternizing i just want a simple simple simple simple life and a simple simple wife take your chaos take it to the next door i have no use for chaos anymore take it and ship it and shove it and get it out of my face take your chaos and put it in its own place just not in my place it's a disgrace and it's not part of my it's not part of my milieu take your chaos and kick it out kick it out kick it out take your chaos and who cares it if it shows a fit and if it pouts i have no room for your chaos in my life i do not want it anywhere near me got a restraining order got a restraining order come on travis you can come up with a melody you've lost your rhyme game with this riff you cannot keep a steady beat you know and you claim you're the king of order well it doesn't show well it doesn't show you take your order and drive it over the cliff i don't have any idea what happens next i do not know what i will say next except i wish that this ??? would ??? didn't work out did it
(c) 2007 Trex
No Return
- Mayonandon track 14
- recorded: 2007-05-14
- location: Bellingham
- length: 1:11
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, talking
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Noise. I guess inspired by Sonic Youth. Not reminiscent of them, though.
Lyrics to "No Return":
i think i'm past the point where you realize that the spaceship in which you're traveling is not gonna return to earth no amount of ingenuity is gonna save this one from disaster
(c) 2007 Trex
Yucky Template
- Mayonandon track 15
- recorded: 2007-05-14
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:55
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, talking
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Searching for a better template.
Lyrics to "Yucky Template":
we had a short no this isn't working i know what i want to say i just don't have the uh right template let's get a better template hey it's just yucky it's yucky it's yucky it's yucky stop it it's yucky sounds awful no stop playing it god what a waste quickly travis quickly you've got things to do don't make it so muddy i think you've crashed dude i don't think you're gonna get anything else out of this recording session i think you've reached your limit i think you're tired you're just wasting tape at this point stop it
(c) 2007 Trex
Uptight Jamaican
- Mayonandon track 16
- recorded: 2007-05-14
- location: Bellingham
- length: 14:53
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This long jam is very repetitive and sloppy, though the lyrics are occasionally interesting.
Lyrics to "Uptight Jamaican":
sitting on the beach ah it's not working i told you nothing would come of this i told you nothing would come of this i told you it would be a waste of tape i told you it would be a wasted tape i told you it would be a wasted tape and it's 4:20 it's 4:20 we should a better groove on this sounds so stupid and so uptight uptight uptight uptight there isn't an uptight reggae player jamaica my name is coffee bob i drive too much coffee and i have an indeterminant accent i grew up listening to the sexy pistolies while my friends were listening to those reggae giants i was listening to the guys with the ripped up t-shirts and safety pins through the eyelids i thought there was something appealing about looking like i had just pierced my own internal organs with a clothies hanger i am the most uptight jamaican not even rastafarian grew up listening to the straight 1 4 4 4 4 4 time the uptight white punks i found a guitar it was dropped in the dumpster i picked it up i tried to play it and what comes out does not sound like it has much of a swing or a bounce it sounds so stiffie who could have made this awful racket i said as the echoes of my experimentation laughed at me behind my head the echoes the echoes the echoes of my dependence on coffee the echoes the echoes the echoes of my dependence on caffeine make me so uptaight i do not have the ability to lapse into a relaxed jamaican beat everything sounds so stiff everything sounds so mechanical everything sounds so robotic everything so sounds so sounds so sounds so sounds so repetitive with no soul and with no goal what's the point what's the point what's the point what's the point of playing what's the point what's the point what's the point what's the point of playing everybody advises me to put up the guitar and turn to something mechanical instead like accounting but i am a good accountant when i see the numbers i just have to sort mechanically so 1 3 2 becomes 1 2 3 132 becomes 1 2 3 132 becomes 1 2 3 132 becomes 1 2 3 and you can see you can see why i make a horrible accountant [scat] i got organize and i got to criticize everything must be a ??? everything must be ??? today another day and you can tell why i make such a horrible accountant i have to organize the numbers just the right way some people can relax some people can relax some people can relax but my brain it feels like i'm unable to relax unable can relax some people can relax but my ability is not there it's not intact my relaxation organ is not intact my relaxation organ is not intact my relaxation organ is not intact if i would play this song in a coffee house everybody would walk out they would walk about if i would play this song in a coffee house everybody would walk out they would walk about [jibberish permutations of the above] [scat] everybody's walking out they just show with disgusted faces at the amplifier which i have intentionally turned up too loud 'cause their faces ??? people i want them to go away and i want to ??? by myself and do nothing but listen to myself play this is not an epic there's nothing here there's no meat on these bones there's no soul there's no flesh there's no nothing it's just empty it's just a plastic easter egg with no treat inside it's just empty empty nothingness and all the other cliches that i can churn out in 15 seconds or less 'cause that's about as ??? as my ??? i can't think much more ahead i can't even think of the tune [scat] and if you're expecting a wild solo i'm sorry i gotta disappoint sorry i guess that's it do i hear disappointment in the crowd yes i do this is the worst bridge ever some people might think my ??? template would change the stature of what you are accomplishing on the 1 2 3 4 5 6 strings but the reality is you are still hampered by your own lack of imagination lack of ??? some people think ??? you will ??? but i'm here to tell you that i've been playing for many a year i have listen to me i'm so pathetic oh listen to me i'm am pathetic listen to me i'm so pathetic listen to me i'm an example of wasted time there are people who could get good with guitar with as many minutes as i've put in it so far i am not one of those people so the net result is lots of wasted ??? tape listen to me i'm so bad so listen to me listen to me i'm so bad just listen to me i'm so bad and if you don't agree then your get this just just try to gotta listen to me i've been playing guitar for about 20 years that's right that's 20 as in 2 0 not not not not not not point 2 0 2 0 not point 2 0 ha ha ha ha ??? where's the groove where's the groove what's my next move where's the groove where's the groove what's my next move where's the groove where's the groove what's my next move this is just a marathon i'm sorry that i am bringing you along this is just an exercise like the herbit did i say herbit i mean a gerbil or a hampster this is just an exercise like the hamster running in his ball ??? what's the deal what's the deal what's the deal what's the deal why can't i play it it's been 20 years so why can't i play it it's been 20 years so why can't i sing it it's been 20 years so why can't i why can't i why can't i why can't i play it why am i such a bad musician why am i such a bad musician why am i such a bad musician am i wasting time by having so much is the path to true musicianship devoid of all fun must you take it seriously until you're just an automaton you're just an automaton automaton automaton automaton my fingers are hurting man my wrist hurts so much god my apologies to the audience
(c) 2007 Trex
Hermit Ballad
- Mayonandon track 17
- recorded: 2007-05-15
- location: Bellingham
- length: 4:49
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Acoustic-er than normal. I deleted all the false starts except one, which I couldn't figure out how to smoothly integrate with the rest of the song.
Lyrics to "Hermit Ballad":
today's the 15th of may there lived a man in the hills he liked to overdose on pills he went to town occasionally oh start over again there lived a man in the hills his life didn't have any frills he only went to town occasionally to buy matches and maybe a cup of tea [scat] he spent his days writing in his journal his favorite ??? fertile he watched the birds during their mating dance all day he was a hermit there lived a man in the hills he liked to collect shells one day he overdosed on pills and satan greeted him at the door of hell and satan said you just go back to bed i don't want you you hoo hoo the man say satan why can't i go with you and satan said it's too crowded in here you know the man said what overpopulation in hell why does that matter it's not supposed to be comfortable and satan said i can't argue with logic like that and the man said satan you know you're looking fat and satan said i know i need to get me a physical trainer and the man said guess what that is my second vocation i was a physical trainer for the chickadees i turned them into majestic geese look at them flying north and flying south everybody wants to be a chickadee goose yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and satan said hey dude i'll do a deal with you if you just pull your hand out of my hair hey you're pull it too hard the guy said i'm sorry i'm a kleptomaniac and satan said why are you trying to steal my golden locks and the guys says i don't think they're golden i think it's just the flames that are giving them that luster and satan said you've got guts coming here and refuting me and the guy said i just do not fear you because you are just a man just a man all right that was really really retarded as in jodie
(c) 2007 Trex
Jodie on the Roadie
- Mayonandon track 18
- recorded: 2007-05-15
- location: Bellingham
- length: 3:23
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Not very nice. But what can you expect from a song with no preparation time? It ends up continuing the "story" from the last song.
Lyrics to "Jodie on the Roadie":
and this song is called jodie on the roadie so one day so one day so one day we got back from the tour bus and we found jodie on the roadie jodie on the roadie and she make him squishie she make him wish he were dead jodie on the roadie jodie on the roadie looking like a toadie making him wish that he were dead jodie on the roadie jodie on the roadie looking like a toadie jodie on the roadie i know it sounds like the last song but you know i can only play a couple chords it's the last song but here's the thing you can pretend it's a reprise it's the last song i know it sounds familiar i know it sounds just the same i play the same old game and the devil he said hey mister hermit i've got an assign for you an assign yeah that's short for assignment your duty is to find all the bands do too many drugs and you take them aside and you give them jodie on the roadie she's looking like a toadie and the guy and the roadie just wishing he would go to hell already go to hell already go to hell already all right that was really bad
(c) 2007 Trex
Downie Naming
- Mayonandon track 19
- recorded: 2007-05-15
- location: Bellingham
- length: 0:53
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, talking
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Trying to pick a name for the "trilogy".
Lyrics to "Downie Naming":
1 more and then i really have to return to work this is part 3 it's called devil jodie blues devil no devil satan jodie no what's it called woods jodie i'll just call it um i don't know what to call it just call it jodie dummy trilogy dummy trilogy dumb trilogy there we go dumb trilogy this is called dumb trilogy downie trilogy i don't think anything is gonna come out of this part part 3 it's sounding really pathetic
(c) 2007 Trex
Downie into Hell
- Mayonandon track 20
- recorded: 2007-05-15
- location: Bellingham
- length: 5:21
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This gradually picks up, and becomes catchy and funny, though a bit mean and juvenile.
Lyrics to "Downie into Hell":
this is called the downie trilogy so you get a hermit and you introduce i'll get something going don't worry way down in the bowels down in the bowels of hell the bowels of hell within the bowels of hell way down in [scat] way down in the bowels of hell way down in the bowels of hell way down in the bowels of hell way down in the bowels of hell way down in the bowels of hell satan rang his bell what's with all this devil fixation travis i don't know just call it satanic downie trilogy no don't put satanic in there because then google will find it put just downie downie you know like going down to hell i'm going downie going down to hell i'm going downie going down to hell maybe the city dwellers won't dwell way down there in hell i want to be all alone said the hermit i want my own broom said jodie we're gonna gonna go down into hell let's strap on our helmets said the hermit who was a real geek inside and jodie said i've got mine and my drool cup too we're gonna go downie downie into hell gonna go downie downie into hell and the hermit said ooh what's that smell jodie said sorry i ate too much fiber not gonna go downie downie into hell and the hermit said you're stinky jodie said i'll just sweep the smells away and she tried to fan the air with her broom but the guy just got another whiff of the jodie ooh how how stinky jodie said sorry but worse is we're gonna go downie downie into hell going downie into hell on our bicicles ooh what's that smell oh just ask satan i think he let one well i did too said the hermit jodie of course had to follow and everybody they made methane and i'm singing a familiar refrain gonna go downie downie into hell ooh said jodie ??? made a smell and the guy said jodie what you gonna do with that broom jodie said nuttin i'm just gonna clean satan's room 'cause we're gonng go downie downie into hell gonna go deep downie on our bicicles gonna go downie downie into hell ooh said jodie i made another smell and satan said ooh what's that smell jodie said it wasn't me i think it was downie downie made the smell she made the smell and satan said you guys get out of here you smell too bad and downie said duuuuuhhhh
(c) 2007 Trex
Downie Finale
- Mayonandon track 21
- recorded: 2007-05-15
- location: Bellingham
- length: 1:04
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
We end the day (and the album) on a short instrumental improv. The music's pretty bad, but at least you don't have to hear my voice too!