Click on the thumbnail to view a printable cd sleeve.- Title: Mayoff
- Artist: Trex
- Timespan: 2007
- Theme: final may 2007 recordings
- Length: 71:24
- Tracks: 19
- Lyrics: 19
- MP3s: 19 play all locally
- Rating: ** [2] (1 rating) rate this album
Track List
Notes
This finishes up the very long month of May 2007.
It's more of the same, really: a few catchy bits amidst a sea of boring, irritating, and offensive bits.
Songs
Next Corner
- Electric Picks track 16
- Mayoff track 1
- recorded: 2007-05-16
- location: Bellingham
- length: 5:45
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Decent playing, amusing vocals. It's nice to have a song about something positive like hiking!
Lyrics to "Next Corner":
may 16th it's a mystery where the road ??? feel like i ??? big hikes but we're a little afraid we'll be up here all night and then the cats come out and the cats come out and there's something to be scared about when the cats come out when the cougars come out better be prepared to shout i wish i knew where every animal was residing at any given instant i wish i knew what is around the next corner but to be honest i think maybe that would take some of the fun out of the hike i think it's uncertainty that we like never quite knowing what's around the next corner inviting a little bit of disorder get the adrenaline pumping grab your backpack and start humping and i don't mean that in a carnal sense sometimes i wish i had an internal compass and a potion of detect enemies i could tell where the cats where the bears are hiding and i would know just which trail to take but that defeats the fun and if you pardon my pun i'm feeling bushed i know that sounds so forced but i've tired my fingers out keeping up with the ideas in a way trex really is a trek through the underbrush there are all sorts of animals preparing an ambush
(c) 2007 Trex
Interurban
- Mayoff track 2
- recorded: 2007-05-16
- location: Bellingham
- length: 4:19
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
An ode to a trail. Continuing the hiking theme.
Lyrics to "Interurban":
hey there interurban trail i'd like to follow you to the end you're safe and there's a bay next to you i don't mind the gravel that gets into my shoe hey there mister interurban i know you were at some point an electic train line and that's why you are so straight mister interurban you are so orderly i like you mister interurban you make it safe but cleater road you are much too windy you go on forever you are not a very fun entrance i wanna go onto chuckanut ridge but the spiders are out and cleater road you're not helping it arroyo park you're much too windy and often you are much too muddy i cannot read on you i cannot read on you i cannot read on you i cannot read on you old mister interurban you are are easy i can run for hours without tripping up and i can run and i will get comments from everybody saying that's what i call multitasking that's what i call multitasking that is what i call multitasking that is what i call multitasking that is what i call multitasking that is what i call multitasking all right that was really bad
(c) 2007 Trex
Precedent
- Mayoff track 3
- recorded: 2007-05-16
- location: Bellingham
- length: 4:51
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
One more? I've heard that before.
I've also heard this music before.
And the theme, too. It was a common theme back then.
Lyrics to "Precedent":
1 more uno mas ??? i know it's messy it's messy i know it's messy i know the kitchen messy i know the bathroom messy i know the trash can's messy i know the backyard's messy so i'm a slob i'm a slob oh i'm a slob i'm a blob i know my handwriting is messy i know my schoolwork is messy i know my bedroom is messy i know my trash can is overflowing 'cause i'm a slob oh i'm a blob oh i'm a slob i'm a blob but that's ok 'cause my friends are the same way oh it's ok 'cause my dad is the same way i know we are messy i know we are messy but so was ??? so then it's ok i know my mind is messy i know my language messy i know my playing's messy i know my mind is messy but it's ok because my dad is the same way but it's ok because my dad is the same way oh inertia inertia and precedent that's how you get to be the president of your own existance that's what i meant 'cause i know my dad is lazy i know my dad is dishonest and i know my dad is fat and i know my dad is a loser 'cause it's ok it's ok if i'm the same way 'cause he's my daddy and he's a loser and i'm following in his shoes he's a loser he's so lazy he's so lazy he's so lazy he's so lazy but he's my daddy he is my daddy so i can copy him copy his every sin 'cause he's my daddy he can't be so baddy and even if my daddy has diabetes i will follow him with his disease and i'll push him in his wheelchair and then when he's dead i'll push myself in mine and i'll find a woman to leech off i will find a woman to leech off and i will find a woman to leech off 'cause my daddy did it's ok 'cause my daddy did it that way it's ok who cares what travis and mommy say it's ok 'cause my daddy did it that way he's a loser and i permit it because of precedent somehow i doubt that one's gonna go public
(c) 2007 Trex
Pollen
- Mayoff track 4
- recorded: 2007-05-17
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:26
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Decent start for a new day.
Lyrics to "Pollen":
un 2 3 4 there's a jangle jangle in my head today is may 17 there's a jangle jangle jangle between my years the pollen is attacking and it makes my nose run nose run nose run nose run my nose it ??? there's ringing ringing between my eyes i think that's the pollen clogging me up i feel so congested i can barely sing i feel so dizzy i can barely accomplish anything it's the pollen it's the pollen it's the pollen the quantities are appallin' me there's a jangling coming out of the amp it's hot outside i wouldn't call it damp i cannot bang on the floor or stamp 'cause i'm afraid that floor will cave it i'm afraid that floor will fall it i'm afraid that i will end up in the garage making garage music for the rest of my days oh god that was horrible
(c) 2007 Trex
Disclaimer 1
- Mayoff track 5
- recorded: 2007-05-17
- location: Bellingham
- length: 1:57
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Pretty funny improv.
Lyrics to "Disclaimer 1":
like i said before today is the may 17th it's just another day in an endless stream of tapes i have no idea what i'm gonna do with trex i have no idea how many tapes i will end up with i have no idea if anyone will ever listen to this trex is apostrophetic for the orthopedic apostrophy for the compulsive listeners only if you read the fine print you will see that this cd comes with a disclaimer the print is really small you can barely see it with a magnifying glass but i'll read it to you it says this music might make you just want to turn off the cd and if you do that happen to trip over your power chord and pull it out of the socket part way and when you try to put it back you elecricute yourself i claim no responsibility and you cannot either and below that there's another disclaimer all right that was called disclaimer 1
(c) 2007 Trex
Disclaimer 2
- Mayoff track 6
- recorded: 2007-05-17
- location: Bellingham
- length: 5:35
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This starts off as a jarringly noisy and heavy handed instrumental. Eventually the vocals start, but they lack the wit of the previous song.
Lyrics to "Disclaimer 2":
this next song is called disclaimer 2 [scat] we all like to look at disclaimers we all like to look like lamers we think looking at disclaimers is only for lamers we think looking at disclaimers is only for lamers we think reading disclaimers is only for lamers who says i'm making a song now hardly we think looking at disclaimers is only for lamers who says reading disclaimers is only for lamers who says looking at disclaimers is only for lamers who says looking at disclaimers is only for lamers who says looking at disclaimers is only for lamers who says reading [scat] that is why i should just shut up and play guitar i cannot improvise on both at once i can only make up vocals or make up chords i cannot do more than one thing at once ??? and the fine print it says you better not listen to this or we will forfeit all our claims against you and you must do the same thing against me [scat] that made no sense it's ok 'cause i'm making my own noise ooh that made no sense but that's ok 'cause i'm making my own noise ooh yucky yuck yuck yuck i wish i could play better than this that really sounds so lame
(c) 2007 Trex
Disclaimer 3
- Mayoff track 7
- recorded: 2007-05-17
- location: Bellingham
- length: 5:03
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Another one. Pretty funny.
Lyrics to "Disclaimer 3":
this song is called disclaimer 3 whee-hee yippee look at me gotta work on the bridge a bit gonna get on my unicycle which has a disclaimer on the bottom of the seat the disclaimer says even though you ride the unicycle it doesn't guarantee that you will be cool or that you will be accepted by the other people riding their own unicycles who think they are cool and it will not guarantee that your friends are cool as you ride on your unicycle in your mohawk and your bellbottoms actually one pant leg is bellbottom the other's dragging your underwear is showing you are cool cool cool you are cool you're so cool you pull out the can of peroxide and read the fine print on the back and it says this does not guarantee that you can become blonde if you have black hair so you put the peroxide on your head and you wait 45 minutes and you actually wait a bit longer because you think hey i got dark hairs and it's gonna take a while to get the peroxide kicking in and you eventually go to the mirror and you take a look at yourself and you see you have orange hair orange hair and then you get the guitar out and you look on the back and you find this little tiny sticky label that has very small fonts on it and the little fonts say disclaimer even though you are now the proud owner of a stratocaster clone we cannot guarantee that your playing will sound like a clone of a real guitarist playing you might in fact just sound a bit like this you're awful clear you're awful clear awful clearly awful like vinegar on waffles you're clearly awful like a mouth full of guinea pig excrement that was called disclaimer 3
(c) 2007 Trex
Final Disclaimer
- Mayoff track 8
- recorded: 2007-05-17
- location: Bellingham
- other names: Robathong
- length: 3:45
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
A little forced, but occasionally funny.
Lyrics to "Final Disclaimer":
now this is the last little ending it off it's called final disclaimer i have no preparation whatsoever the angel of the lord came down to me and i said angel why must you pee in my potted plant in the corner and the angel said sorry i'm used to being able to urinate wherever i want and i said but i have rules so go clean your mess up you might be an angel but that doesn't excuse you from making a mess you get the bucket and the paper towels and clean up your urine from around my potted plant 'cause you missed it you know you sprinkle and you sprinkle even though you are angel you are not perfect even jesus christ left some footsteps on my front steps and i scolded him too no one is immune not even god who thinks he's so perfect he accidentally left a picture slightly crooked after he looked at the back of it to see who the artist was so much for omniscience and so much for perfection all you heavenly people and edgemoor perfect you think you're so darn perfect but you leave footprints and crooked pictures and puddles of pee on my hardwood floor everybody who thinks you're so gosh darn perfect but let me tell you a think about order it doesn't include peeing puddle on the floor no peeing puddles don't pee your puddles don't leave your footprints in my house take them to iris lane they don't mind them over there but they go to church too every sunday i don't even bother 'cause i don't feel like wasting the time i'd rather just organize my xml files and xsl files and work on my websites gotta put everything in excruciating order 'cause that is just right and my preference i'd rather have things than lots of angels' wings i'd rather have in order than have god's power god left a crooked picture in my living room tried to look at the back and accidentally knocked over a broom which startled the guinea pigs the guinea pigs ran they were afraid of god who is a very smelly man well that's not very nice let's just said he's been smoking too many pipes what about jesus well the guinea pigs loved him because i think he was a little bit girly with that long and that little robe you call it tunic and i call it a robathong robathong let's just call that song robathong
(c) 2007 Trex
Trex Is Work
- Mayoff track 9
- recorded: 2007-05-30
- location: Bellingham
- length: 3:00
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Repetitive garage rock. Not bad. Except for the ending, which is weird.
Lyrics to "Trex Is Work":
ok today is 30th of may trex is live ??? trex is live a lotta work a lot of work fill out all those xml files for every single song it's a lotta work to sit there taking all the metadata for every little stupid song that i ever recorded trex is work trex is work but i must admit it's kinda nice having a web site on which i can read all the trex notes and download all the mp3s it's kinda nice it's kinda nice trex is work it's a whole lotta work
(c) 2007 Trex
Metadata
- Mayoff track 10
- recorded: 2007-05-30
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:24
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
More gabbing about metadata.
Lyrics to "Metadata":
it's a backwards incentive i keep hoping whenever i get around to digitizing trex cross my fingers that the tape is full of good songs 'cause every good song means i gotta metadata it oh god i think this isn't one of them let me try to explain it better you see every song that sound really good i feel compelled to write down the lyrics and that process takes about 5 times as long as the original songs it gets so much work that i feel dispirited by the amount of documentation necessary to get the trex songs to the point where they have adequate metadata oh god how geeky oh that's just a lost cause
(c) 2007 Trex
Winging It
- Mayoff track 11
- recorded: 2007-05-30
- location: Bellingham
- length: 1:03
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Kinda painful. Sure enough, I metadataed it.
Lyrics to "Winging It":
it's so hot in here it's unbearably hot in here i'm just gonna have to wing it i need to get into the habit of instrumentals we will all agree instrumentals are the way to go for me also it would be nice if i could put down the guitar i'm better on keyboard by far it's so hot in here very good travis that's the song that you don't have to metadata that's a gift from me to you less work more play goodbye
(c) 2007 Trex
AC
- Electric Picks track 17
- Mayoff track 12
- recorded: 2007-05-30
- location: Bellingham
- length: 3:02
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
I guess it was hot that day. Too bad the playing wasn't. Relatively catchy idea though.
Lyrics to "AC":
uno do tres quatro today was the first day that i turned on the ac it got up to 82 ??? turn on the ac too i'm not ??? it's so hot my head is stuffy i'm not being excessive when i turn on the ac got guinea pigs to protect i'm not being pansy when i turn on the ac it's 82 degrees and that is just too much for me i'm not being a wimp when i turn on the ac i gotta have ac or i'm going to go crazy can you blame me if i turn on the ac i'm not being a pansy it's 82 degrees wouldn't you turn on the ac too the guinea pigs i just stand up for when i try to protect the little cavies from the 82 degrees it's too hot for me gotta have my ac i gotta have it i'm not a pansy 82 degrees is too hot for me so i turn on the ac on the top floor of the house trickle down theory works for me ??? my ac
(c) 2007 Trex
Heat Averse
- Mayoff track 13
- recorded: 2007-05-30
- location: Bellingham
- length: 3:19
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
New tape. Same stuff.
Lyrics to "Heat Averse":
it's unbearably hot in this room it's very hot 1 2 ??? i would never make a good jamaican it is too hot in the islands for me i would never make a good jamaican it is too hot in the islands for me and i don't like it sunny i would never make a good jamaican i bet it is not for me and i don't even like coconut oh i would make a very bad cuban it's too hot for me oh i would make a very poor mexican 'cause it's too hot for me and i don't even like sun gimme the cool northwest weather any day gimme the overcast sky and a little bit of rain i would pick that any time over palm trees and ??? i'd rather warm myself up by moving my feet i don't even like sand yikes that was awful
(c) 2007 Trex
Hot If
- Mayoff track 14
- recorded: 2007-05-30
- location: Bellingham
- length: 1:08
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Clearly losing steam.
Lyrics to "Hot If":
if you don't clean your room the rest of your life is gonna be doom and if you don't clean your teeth you're gonna be paying dentist bills out of your teeth if you don't do your homework you're gonna have a lifetime of ??? medial work and if you don't turn on the ac you're gonna melt like me melt like me oh god that's called hot if
(c) 2007 Trex
OEM MTF
- Mayoff track 15
- recorded: 2007-05-30
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:15
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This geeky lament about cheap gear is very noisy and hard to understand.
Lyrics to "OEM MTF":
this should be it seriously 'cause i'm just dying in here and i think my body temperature is raising the air temperature in here and there's a very precious computer in here and i do not want the computer to be ??? heat oem oem oem what's the mtf oem oem oem what's the mtf oem oem oem oh my god what's the ticket what's the mtf deskstar deskstar deskstar deskstar deskstar deskstar lost 3 cell phones is it ??? is it ??? is it ??? is it ??? is it ??? oem mtf the ??? is getting to me it'ss getting to me oem mtf oem oem oem oem oem oem oh my god oh my god it's 82 degrees mtf mtf is killing me the mtf is killing me ??? heat the mtf is killing me oem oem oem oem ??? zero point three ??? oh god just call that one oem mtf i'm gonna pause and then i'm gonna try one more
(c) 2007 Trex
Stuffy Reprise
- Mayoff track 16
- recorded: 2007-05-30
- location: Bellingham
- length: 5:40
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Hard to tell I paused. Horrible lyrics. After a while it morphs into a plodding improv, which then turns into a lyrical reprise of the day's "hot" theme.
Lyrics to "Stuffy Reprise":
oh it's stuffy oh it's stuffy it's stuffy and it's starting to get to me ??? i already have a song called stuffy but this heat is killing me i want to make a song about being stuffy and oh how this heat is killing me i think the guitar sounds a little stuffy oh i think or is it me i'm not playing my best today but it is stuffy in a horrible way i made a song called stuffy but this isn't it this is stuffy um 3 think this is 3 i think this is 3 83 degrees it's so hot in here hot in my studio and in my ??? i made a song called stuff and it's too hot too hot for me i already made a song called stuffy but it's too hot for me already made a song called stuffy it's so hot it's so hot it's so hot for me and i hope by standing by the window i'll be aware if someone comes home i hope by looking out over the driveway i'll know when i'm not alone and i'll stop then hop into the shower and cool off cool off cool off and ??? playing guitar in the 83 degrees gotta ??? sound today i can barely play with the ??? oh it's so hot i had to put on the air conditioner it's so hot i had to turn on the ac it's so hot i had to relieve the temperature it's so hot too hot for me here i am playing in my studio oh i'm starting to slow my mind is starting to slow it's too hot for me it's too hot for me it's too hot for me have you any ??? it's so hot for me it's so hot for me is it hot in the 83 degrees i think that's enough for today i can't play anymore anyway too hot it's just too hot it's too hot
(c) 2007 Trex
Last Day of May
- Mayoff track 17
- recorded: 2007-05-31
- location: Bellingham
- length: 6:39
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Dumb start to final day of May.
Lyrics to "Last Day of May":
31st of may 2007 it's the last day of may it's the last day i'll say this is may this is may this is may this is may ew sounds like poo this is the last day i'll say this is the last day i'll say it's may it is the last day that i'll say this is the last day of may come on what's up with the power chords they ain't working i think they're on strike this is the last day of may this is the last day of may this is the last day of may this is the last day of may ew something's not right with the power chords it just sounds like a couple of i don't know what rhymes with chords last day of may the last day of may it's the last day of may and i have nothing else to say this is the last day of may this is the last day of may this is the last day of may and i have nothing to say nothing to say it's arguable that i ever have anything to say oh god the last day of may this is the last day of may this is the last day of may and i have nothing to say this is the last day of may this is the last day of may this is the last day of may and i have run out of things to say i've got nothing to say i got nothing to say nothing to say i got nothing to say i got nothing to say i got nothing to say i got nothing to say i got nothing to say except thank you and come again thank you for coming again thank you for coming again thank you for coming again the last day of may this is the last day of may yes i have nothing else on my plate for may for may for may for may for may here's the bridge it's very quiet which is what it sounds like right before the storms worst bridge in the world and then we launch back into the very familiar uno dos tres quatro this is the last day of may this is the last day of may this is the last day of may and still have nothing to say this is the last day of may this is the last day of may the last day of may maybe next month i'll have something to say maybe in june i'll have something to say maybe in june i'll have something to say maybe in june i'll have something to say 'cause it's the last day of may this is the last day of may this is the last day of may and i got nothing to say nothing to say nothing to say nothing to say nothing to say nothing to say nothing to say nothing to say oh just fade out before that awful ending fade out i say
(c) 2007 Trex
Upchuck
- Mayoff track 18
- recorded: 2007-05-31
- location: Bellingham
- length: 5:02
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Starts off sounding similar to last song, but then gets catchier and more distinct as it goes on.
Lyrics to "Upchuck":
gonna upchuck upchuck gonna upchuck get on the drunk drunk truck gonna upchuck gonna hang up not really but i'll always say my life is so hard my life is so hard and the liver damage and the dieting is and the chronic weight gain keeps me in a wheelchair and i'm outside and my wheelchair is stuck in the mud and in front of me is the skeleton of a bisected deer and i'm gonna upchuck i'm gonna upchuck my voice is not suitable for this type of song i need the voice of somebody strong i sound like a mouse i sound like a mouse i sound like a mouse i sound like a mouse and the puke is coming from my mouth the puke is coming from my mouth i sound like a mouse and i sound like a mouse and i sound like a mouse and i sound like a mouse and i sound like a mouse filthy words coming from my mouth then i'm gonna upchuck i'm gonna upchuck i'm gonna upchuck all over my wheelchair all over my ??? all over my catheter i'm a real man i'm gonna upchuck i'm gonna upchuck i'm gonna upchuck all over my shoes which cost 90 dollars and i bought them last week 'cause i got tired of the other shoes which cost 80 dollars but i never used them 'cause i'm too fat to walk i'm gonna upchuck at my sad sad life i'm gonna upchuck i wish i had got me a wife and i'm in my fat fat wheelchair too fat to walk got too much food in my mouth to talk i've got liver damage and a catheter diabetes and warts and sores all over my body warts and sores all over my body warts and sores all over my body gonna upchuck 'cause i'm a loser got a big l on my forehead got a big l on my forehead but i memorized all the movie titles and the actors and producers and the directors and all the ratings 'cause i am smart on the inside i am smart on the inside and i'm a man on the inside and i'm a man on the inside but when i look in the mirror or i think about what i've accomplished i'm gonna upchuck i'm gonna upchuck at my lame life i'm a wheelchair with my catheter get me a wife couldn't get me a wife couldn't get me a wife i'm gonna upchuck at my lame life i've got an l on my forehead with ??? i'm gonna upchuck at my lame life i put the l on the forehead with my boning knife yeah
(c) 2007 Trex
Exacto L
- Mayoff track 19
- recorded: 2007-05-31
- location: Bellingham
- length: 4:11
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This finishes up May with a typical negative vibe.
Lyrics to "Exacto L":
try to make it easy for me let me win once in a while try to make it easy for me don't be afraid to spoil me i need all the help i can get 'cause i'm just a lame get all the help i can get i haven't learned to work yet you can let me win and you let me in if you let me in i'll teach you how to sin i need all the help i can get i haven't learned to work yet i need god what's up with the singing come on we need some coordination we need some coordination we need some coordination we need all the help i can get come on i need the help i can get 'cause i haven't learned how to work yet i need all the help you can give i never give back that's why they call me the sieve i'm a time leech and you're my money tree if i don't have to work then i won't so get off my back you jerk i've got to finish this level the chores will have to wait i need to get to a save point the chores will have to wait i just don't feel like starting them i'm not in the mood to work get off my back you stupid jerk ok it's time to give me presents ok it's time to buy me what i want i'm a loser l on the forehead cut in my head with exacto knife i cut an l in my forehead l represents my loser wife i don't have a loser wife i think i meant life i'm a little demented i never studied too hard limited vocabulary most of my knowledge comes from knowledge cards most of my knowledge comes from knowledge cards i've got an l in my forehead which i cut with an exacto knife l in my forehead stands for my loser life i've got an l in my forehead somebody cut me another one to remind me of just how l i am just how l i am just how l i am just how l i am just how l i am just how l i am l in the forehead cut with an exacto knife l in the forehead my guitarist has an l on his forehead and so does my vocalist i'm just a music director the other two people in my little band here are imbeciles bye bye
(c) 2007 Trex