- Title: Kim 11
- Artist: Trex
- Timespan: 1988
- Theme: tape 21 for Kim
- Length: 62:31
- Tracks: 23
- Lyrics: 23
- MP3s: 22 play all locally
- Rating: *½ [1.5] (1 rating) rate this album
Track List
- Pencil Chatter
- Naughty Messica
- Casio Messica
- Markus Teaser
- Stuart Bobert
- Markus Introduction
- Markus Cartoons
- My Hero
- Grunt's Sonnet
- Written by Markus
- Markus Interview
- Markus Jokes
- Smash
- Lies
- Really Fast Paced
- Blaa Blaa Blaa Poop
- Seven Stars
- Bye Bye
- Hop Skip
- B Flat Augmented Boogeronie
- You Will Get a Vote
- Last Guitar Song
Notes
This batch of songs for my cousin Kim focuses on the "Markus the Lonely Rabbit" series, which was a bunch of cartoons and skits that I wrote during school. The humor is crude, but I had decent energy, and there are some funny moments, although I can't point to any specific examples. Can you?
The last few songs are a bunch of acoustic guitar improvs. It was rare for me to play guitar back then, especially for Kim. Thankfully.
Songs
Pencil Chatter
- Kim 11 track 1
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 1:00
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, percussion, talking
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This talks about finding a new tape, but not a pencil for labelling the tape. I don't know if it was recorded the same day as the last tape.
Lyrics to "Pencil Chatter":
hello hello hello hello yo all right thank you i spent 11 dollars on 4 tapes, all right now that gets me, that really gets to me and i'm wasting these like poo ok this one is number 7 i think where is a pencil i'm getting really pissed i am really getting pissed all right where is the pencil i see the cords, i see the trumpet, i see the french horn see a whole bunch of frenching bugs i found some dead ones i'm getting really pissed all right that's a way to relieve myself of my anger that's a way to relieve myself if i was in the bathroom yo just gotten your attention gotten your attention all right listen this one is number 7 i found my little pencil are you nasty you're sick that last 3 are junk they are trash they are barf they are the kind of stuff that you would throw away ooh man that's low
Naughty Messica
- Kim 11 track 2
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 2:51
- Travis Emmitt - percussion, vocals
- Jessica Emmitt - Casio CT-310, vocals
- Samantha Fox | wrote: words
- Suzanne Vega | wrote: words
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This continues where the last tape left off, with Jessica asking me to help her sing more songs that she liked. The "funny" thing is that I didn't know most of them, because we were listening to completely different types of music (I was into post-punk and reggae, and she was into the stuff on MTV).
It's almost funny how badly we butchered the songs. Almost. (Actually, her pronunciation of "burglaries" from "Coup d'Etat" is pretty hilarious.)
Lyrics to "Naughty Messica":
JESS: maybe TRAV: i never heard this one JESS: just maybe naughty girls need love too i've been told time and time again that you can't treat love like a game i've played rough with hearts that never mend and some guys like you do the same love was just a 4-letter word never heard, how absurd how could it be now you're not keeping up to the right beat travis TRAV: how does it go sing the song JESS: wait, you entertain her i have to write it down TRAV: [scat] JESS: stop slobbering on me, disgusting he slobbered all over me ok ready excuse my voice; i haven't been taking chorus lately maybe just maybe naughty girls need love too i've been told time and time again that you can't treat love like a game i've played rough with hearts that never mend and some guys like you do the same TRAV: i've never heard this song sing a sing we, you know sing boys don't cry sing a good song that i've heard JESS: i don't know any songs that you've heard ok ready hello, my name is luca i live on the second floor if you something late at night some kind of trouble, some kind of fright just don't ask me what it was just don't ask me what it was just don't ask me what it was you're good TRAV: sing something that we know JESS: beat it, just beat it how 'bout, how 'bout doin' the butt TRAV: i've never heard it JESS: that's amazing how 'bout all right here's one, ready burglaries, bills they take cheaters workers, records fake arguments i can't play that one gimme the other one travis behind you right there TRAV: no, no, you can't ruin those i've already played them JESS: you have TRAV: seriously JESS: oh forget it
Casio Messica
- Kim 11 track 3
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 1:24
- Travis Emmitt - percussion, cornet, talking
- Jessica Emmitt - Casio CT-310, talking
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
As far as I know, this was the only time Jessica played my keyboard. Meanwhile, I played cornet and then percussion. What a mess.
Lyrics to "Casio Messica":
JESS: listen to this here tell me if i suck TRAV: ??? you can hear it look look look ??? microphone ok let me fix it [burping] JESS: ??? TRAV: jessica say goodbye say goodbye JESS: bye good riddance
Markus Teaser
- Kim 11 track 4
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 2:11
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, percussion, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This was a "teaser" for my upcoming reading of the "Markus the Rabbit" series, which was a bunch of stories and cartoons that I wrote in school. Over the years, I had forgotten how much I had written. It's a "teaser" because there's another song we have to get through first ("Stuart Bobert").
The "it's in my room right now" reference implies that I was recording this downstairs. Not that it matters.
Lyrics to "Markus Teaser":
yoo hoo the next thing i'm gonna read to you is a whole bunch of stuff from the markus the rabbit series and that is just very strange it's in my room right now but i'm gonna play something first this is the introduction what a waste of tape all right, well, i'm gonna read the markus the rabbit series and this is serious stuff i have been making so many stories about markus the rabbit so i'm gonna go get 'em and i'll be right back these are pictures markus's predecessors ok the first one, there's a cat with a mouse out of his don't be fooled, this mouse's tail is tied there oscar could have never have caught it by himself and then there's a picture of a cat, looks pretty weird and the caption says: believe it or not petie is really a spider and there's this cat whose whole side of the face is like totally chewed up and there's warts and stuff it says: this cat has a brain but a plunge into the food processor caused a loss of brain motor function and that cat's going mow mow and on the back we have some cats going moo ??? and mo and wiggle-limb the jumping grasshopper leg underfoot the smooshed tent catepiller swatted the bleeding fly tasty tail the self-devouring leech and all these pictures, really disgusting the original markus the lonely rabbit manuscripts are lostfar lost ok, everything's organized, i'm ready to begin
Stuart Bobert
- Kim 11 track 5
- started: 1988-03-30
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 7:12
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This combines lyrics from 2 songs that I had written several weeks earlier. Kinda dumb and offensive. Oh well.
Lyrics to "Stuart Bobert":
i got a couple of songs i wrote in band class these 2 songs have nothing to do with markus they were written before he was invented this is called stuart and stuart is the middle name of danny who is the trombone player who sits next to me and he's really awful ok this is dated march 30th 1988 stuart he rolled around ok i'm gonna have to have to some music with this 'cause it's sort of jazzy all right ok this is called stuart he rolled around oh that sounds good, awesome he rolled around in the dust on the ground in a baseball game he played his team they won but what was fun was later getting laid on friday nights he gets in fights he comes home scratched and bruised to comfort him his girl comes in and gently he gets screwed he goes to school, stands by the rules and never disobeys but when he's home he acts his own he gets his girl to play d-d-d-d-danny he can never quench his fire he's always getting higher he can't fulfill his desire his girls they never tire again he rolls around in the dust on the ground in a baseball game that played his team they won oh but what was fun was later later getting laid and on friday nights he likes to get in those fights he comes home scratched and bruised to comfort him his girl comes in and gently he gets screwed he goes to school, and and he stands by the rules oh he never, no never disobeys but when he's home, oh boy, he acts his own and he gets his girl to play oh danny he can never quench his fire and he's ever getting higher he can't fulfill his desire this is called bobert ok this is, you know allen foster i've mentioned him several times his real name is robert allen foster so i call him bobert so i call him bob or robert ok ready march 30th 1988 bobert yeah with a fever take some aspirin allen feels real good with a heachache and a cold sweat allen doesn't want to eat his food he is dying, his teeth are rotting his mom is afraid to see his room he's smelling like a doggie he's very [scat] very [scat] very very very very one more time and then we'll be ready one more time and then we'll set for this show hit it with a fever ??? takes some aspirin allen is feeling real good with a heachache and a cold sweat allen doesn't want to come to school he is dying, his flesh is rotting his mom is afraid to see his room and he is smelling just like a doggie his very stench foreshadowing his doom allen he looks like crap and he smells like crap what a wreck what a wreck wreck wreck wreck vomit on the bed and vomit on the floor vomit on the walls and vomit on the door vomit on the bed and vomit on the floor vomit on the walls and vomit on the door again vomit on the bed and vomit on the floor vomit on the walls and vomit on the door vomit on the bed and vomit on the floor whoops gotta hit your mama through the door sewer odor, organ donor, bloody sheets, red like beets sewer odor, wooh woh sewer odor, organ donor, bloody sheets, red like beets sewer odor, wooh with a fever take some aspirin allen is feeling real good good good with a heachache and a cold sweat allen doesn't want to eat his food he is dying, and his flesh is rotting his mom is afraid to see his room and he is smelling just like a doggie his very stench foreshadowing his doom allen he looks like crap and and he smells like crap and what a wreck what a wreck what a what a what what a what again vomit on the bed and vomit on the floor vomit on the wall and you're out the door vomit on the bed and vomit on the floor vomit on the wall, you're out the door vomit on the bed, vomit on the floor vomit on the wall and you're out the door vomit on the bed and vomit on the floor vomit on the wall and vomit out the door sewer odor, organ donor, bloody sheets, and red like beets sewer odor wooh sewer odor, organ donor, bloody sheets, and red like beets sewer odor, sewert odor bobert bobert all right, did you hear me singing
Markus Introduction
- Kim 11 track 6
- started: 1988-0?-??
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 2:13
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, talking
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Instead of normally reading my stories to the tape recorder like I had done in the past, I decided to have background music. This makes it far more interesting. It also made it more challenging, since I had to play the music and read the stories at the same time.
This first story/song is kinda funny. I don't know when I wrote it.
Lyrics to "Markus Introduction":
all right i'm back i just finished reading those songs i have to have some music ok ready the lion the witch and the wardrobe part 2 no i'm not actually writing a sequel to the lion the witch and the wardrobe in fact i've never even read that book i needed title that would catch your eye actually i want to talk about my friend markus the lonely rabbit what a tough life he had even up to yesterday he had been tricked, teased, and made fun of every single day of his life no wonder he always questions "why is everybody always picking on me" that poor guy had a tough life from the start he was subject to a most vile form of oppression: complex inferiority his meagerness took over his life his friends' views of him changed as suddenly as a green traffic like when they found out that he was dyslexic with all the predudice, segregation, and plain old just making fun of it was no wonder that he turned communist i know, it's very hard to picture markus wearing a bubushka and a fur coat but what's done is done, it was his decision there's no way that he'll come back unless for one thing we promise not to laugh at him anymore yes, we can still call him names and even crack a smile but the minute we utter that first giggle he's moving back to russia
Markus Cartoons
- Kim 11 track 7
- started: 1988-0?-??
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 8:58
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, talking
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This is my reading of the main set of cartoons that kicked off "Markus" series. It's painfully dumb, but the background music that starts after a couple minutes makes it more interesting. I cut out the really profane bits. However, it's still very gross and dumb.
I don't remember when I wrote the stories.
Lyrics to "Markus Cartoons":
all right that was the introduction do you understand who markus is by now you really really should ok first of all i started markus in english class english class to me is a joke, all right and i draw all sorts of pictures and one of the latest one is markus the lonely rabbit and he looks real sad and he has floppy ears and this bird is, you know, letting look onto his head and so he's real messed up and you know he looked really sad he's going "why is everybody picking on me" so i started drawing those and then i started writing stuff about him and now i have a big collection which i hope to get through on this side of the tape this next one is called: by the humor sophisticate, the markus collection ok here's a list of the characters there's la, the singing moose here is a picture of a moose with. you know. 2 little antlers saying "la" ok, bob the dead turtle larry the other turtle markus the lonely rabbit and poumogh the turdal, spelled with a d.a.l. ok: number 1, mistake identity this is a whole bunch of cartoons which i'm gonna have to read to you mistaken identity it's a picture of la going "la" and markus saying, "you suck la, i'm leaving" and markus walks away and la has to go "la" markus comes up upon poumogh "poumogh" "ok" "mogh, mogh" ok now you have to pay attention when you listen it's very hard to do this ok first of all la's going "la" and markus says "you suck, la, i'm leaving" and then walks away and finds this turtle and says "poumough" and the turtle goes "ok" and he starts to go to the bathroom "poumogh, mogh" and then turds start to fly "mogh!" and then they're streaming like missiles and he goes "poumogh" and the turtle goes "wait a minute, i'm larry" and then it shows a picture of poumogh covered in a pile of manure you know, with larry still shooting little turdlets at him really really [laugh] i'm sorry the next one is called "a true story" ok larry comes up larry and poumogh come up and they see bob and bob's the dead turtle so they say "how ya doin' bob" "i think he's dead, larry" "no, he just moved" "his head collapsed, that all" "come on, poumogh, let's go" "yes, it's time we followed my trail back" you know, the 2 little turtles walk along the trail through the mountains, through the mountains and then they finally get to the sea and poumogh goes "bye" and larry goes "bye" and it says: sob yeah, i thought of a, i thought of a name for my band: sob story ok 3: la gets sick ok la's going "la" and markus going "la, are you upset" "about what" la's going "la" and he's standing on his 2 hind feet markus going: "shut up, just shut up" and la's now turning cartwheels, "la" and and um markus goes "bye la, byte" and la's going: "la" and so and poumogh or markus just farts at him ok, really sophisticate that's you know now they get better this one is good it has a little bit of language in it dot's predicament predic - ok now there's 2 2 new people: pentaped the lame bud, bug pentaped, get it, penta, 5, and you know ped and then ??? lame bug and dot the dot you know, pentaped and dot the dot these are the 2 in there ok dot's predicament ok pentaped says "let's go for a walk" dot goes "sure" pentaped says "whee this is fun" dot says "thrilling" and then pentaped says "the fresh air, the breeze" and the dot goes "the cows, the crap" and there's la, sitting right above him, going to the bathroom and so pentaped goes "that's now cow, that's la" and then dot gots "mmf" you know, he's covered in poo because you know he's real small and la goes "la" pentaped goes "wait, where's he go" la goes "la" and dot goes "mmf" so pentaped says "well, we gotta get back, bye" and la goes "la" and pentaped's all alone i mean dot is all alone and he goes "that's friends for you" ok this next one is called: dot's escape attempt the last time we checked, our hero was still entombed in the stinking, claustrophobic cow pie let's join dot as he attempts to devise and escape from his imprisonment ok so dot's going "1 2 3 dang" "no, dot, you mean dung" "anybody got certs" "sadly, we must leave dot; we have neither the time nor the ink to continue our coverage" "no, no, i'm almost out, almost out, i'm ???" blink, you know, the camera shuts off and you hear ??? ha ha ha ok that was really boring ok this is i wrote this recently ok a play this is really dumb, the background, but still ok, the interviewer says markus goes "speak correctly or not at all" and la the singing moose enters so la goes "la la mmm la la la mmm mmm mmm" the interviewer goes "ok, i'll be civil, go one" markus says "go on" the interviewer says "what are your names" markus says "i am markus the loney rabbit" and starts crying and the interviewer goes "i know, it was a tough question, but how about your friend" and la goes: "la la la la la la la la la la la" markus goes [crying] the interviewer goes "i'll leave you 2 alone" ok, interviewer leaves markus goes "mmm oh mmm" la goes "la la la la la la la" and poumogh enters markus goes "buddy dude" pougmogh poumogh goes fart pbbt hey ppbt fart ppbt markus pbbt and ppbt la pbbt the moose is covered with crap la goes "la" this is grand finale the interviewer goes: s--- la goes "la" poumogh goes "pbbt pbbt" markus goes "mmm ha ha mmmm" and all of them go ??? all right and then pougmogh goes "ta pbbt da" ready this is the markus the rabbit card set the markus the rabbit card set this should entertain you a bit more ok there are suits in this instead of you know like spades, hearts, diamonds, clubs there are either dead, crazy, crapping, or normal dead, crazy, crapping, or normal ok the 1st all the aces all the aces are markuses are the 2s are las all the 3s are mr. birds all the 4s are pentapeds all the 5s are poumoghs all the 6s are larries all the 7s are dots all the 8s are crappy baits ??? ok let me read all the names markus the lonely rabbit 2 la the singing moose 3 mr. bird the bomber 4 pentaped the lame bug 5 poumogh the turtle 6 larry the other turtle dot 7 dot the dot 8 crappy bait the sarcastic worm 9 sucker the lovesick tick 10 sap-breath the laughing tree jack schlieman the wienie roaster queen allen the female fiber king danny the new car owner joker bob the dead curdle turtle huh all right that was boring ok markus family, the wall poster and it has a picture of you know la going to the bathroom this is, today is xmas eve la is the only one who could attend this picture taking, sorry also for sale: a set of a hundred pre-licked markus stamps bob the dead dead turtle night-light poster of allen the female fiber in the nude model of danny's new card the crappy bait knock knock book: 3000 differentknock bnock jokes la's newest solo album entitled: la schlieman wienie roaster kit xxx rating rated movie featuring dot: living in crap all that that's fun
My Hero
- Kim 11 track 8
- started: 1988-0?-??
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 2:28
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This song is about Markus the Lonely Rabbit, as told from the perspective of Poumogh. Hmm.
Hey, at least it's peppy! The music and lyrics are pretty tight, and borderline catchy. Not too bad. Much better than the last few songs, that's for sure.
Lyrics to "My Hero":
here's a song, here's a song, here's a song and i will sing, i will sing every song 'cause that's, you know, the least i can do this is called my hero by poumogh the turtle eh markus is a lonely rabbit he is also very nice he is really stupid sometimes has the brain of a field mouse oops oops oops oops oops oops and markus is a very sad thing he is dumb and dull and blaa hey whoo whoo maybe he has a ??? he gets stupider all the time whoo whoo mama markus has a problem she is just as bad as he daddy markus is dead ha ha ha ho hum and whoa is me we must march this afternoon boy that's boring really cool people like to watch us marching from the field back to the school hey hey whoo hey hey hey whoo hey i regret the song's 'most over breaks my heart to see you go bye bye bye the tears are streaming bye bye bye fart fart oh boy [scat] again markus is a lonely rabbit he is always very nice he is very stupid sometimes has the brain of a field mouse [scat] yay whoo and markus is a very sad thing he is dumb and dull and blaa maybe he has a ??? he gets stupider all the time hey hey markus my hero he's markus mama markus has a problem she is just as bad as he daddy markus is dead ha ha ha ho hum and whoa is me la la la la my hero he's markus my hero people like to watch us marching from the field back to the school we must march this afternoon and boy that's boring really cool we must march this afternoon and boy that's boring really cool and people like to watch us marching from the field back to the school i regret the song's 'most over breaks my heart to see you go bye bye bye my tears are streaming bye bye bye oh fart fart boy
The Health Class
- Kim 11 track 9
- started: 1988-0?-??
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 1:48
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, vocals
This one's really crude. I was uncomfortable with the 100% guy ratio in my sex ed class; I missed having girls around. Other guys didn't seem to mind. This song is about them.
The lyrics are horribly offensive, but the music is dark and punky, which I like. Just try to ignore the words.
I don't remember when I wrote it.
Lyrics to "The Health Class":
ok this next one is called the health class all right read hey [scat] everybody loves somebody in my steamy sex ed class some boys like to lick each other [censored] all of them are imbecilic idiots who like to kiss some of them just like to cuddle it's really sick if you ask me it's really sick if you ask me it's really sick if you ask me it's really sick if you ask me again everybody loves somebody in my steamy sex ed class some boys like to lick each other [censored] all of them are imbecilic idiots who like to kiss some of them just like to ??? really sick it gets me pissed really sick it gets me pissed really sick it gets me pissed really sick it gets me pissed watch me now we're jamming just watch me now the health class hot sex in the health class, whoo see what's going on in the health class [scat] 1 2 3 4 5 i'm done
Grunt's Sonnet
- Kim 11 track 10
- started: 1988-0?-??
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 3:42
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This is another Markus-related story. The lyrics are stupid, but the chorus is kinda catchy.
Lyrics to "Grunt's Sonnet":
this is a sonnet by grunt the horny ox it's in iambic pent, iambic pentameter [scat] this is a sonnet by grunt oooh the horny ox this is a sonnet by grunt oooh the horny ox this is a sonnet by grunt oooh the horny ox [scat] grunt ooh the horny ox [scat] this is a sonnet by grunt oooh the horny ox this is a sonnet by grunt oooh the horny ox [scat] grunt oooh the horny ox ah this is by grunt the horny ox i once was on a walk in my back yard i saw a bird and it wasn't mr. card i stalked the bird yes it wasn't very hard but it flew away; i felt like a big lard my name is grunt, my daddy's name is missster and there's nothing that he ever seems to miss he waters all the plants there in the midst i like to lick each plant off ??? [scat] grunt ooooh grunt ooooh the horny ox grunt ooooh grunt ooooh the horny ox [scat] all right speed it up i once was in a walk in my back yard i saw a bird and it wasn't mr. card i stalked the bird and it wasn't very hard but it flew away; i felt like a big lard my name is grunt and my daddy's name is p--- and there ain't nothing that he ever seems to miss he waters all the plants there in the midst i like to lick each other after this, oooh one day we took a walk to charlottesville and my daddy said we'd have to climb a hill he said we'd have to p--- on every mill he p---ed and p---ed until he just lay still ahh he said he was so tired that he died, oh boy he thought he was just kidding, so did i but in a minute he lay cold ice and and i just put my head on his and cried yes it's too bad that daddy passed away on that cold and tragic winter day his spirit will forever live in me ah blaa blaa blaa blaa blaa blaa blaa blaa bye
Written by Markus
- Kim 11 track 11
- started: 1988-0?-??
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 0:59
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Short and dumb, mostly chatter.
Lyrics to "Written by Markus":
all right i've written other songs but they're on the back of my tests and my papers that i have to read for the class i have no idea where the good ones are most of them are insulting this one is ok markus has a motto: i do have a personality is it true? we'll find out first of all, here's a song written by markus [scat] hey my oh my how so shy tell me why you're not high ain't this fun we're almost done gotta run i feel like number 1 markus didn't write this; i doubt he even read this actually his friend poumogh wrote it while watching his dead brother bob (all turtles are brothers) decay
Markus Interview
- Kim 11 track 12
- started: 1988-0?-??
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 2:19
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Another dumb segment of the Markus stories. I faded out the offensive bit at the end. You're not missing anything other than 4-letter words.
Lyrics to "Markus Interview":
so what do you think about markus so far i haven't even touched the surface of his personality here's an interview conducted in markus's presence [scat] hey so what do you think about markus so far we haven't even touched the surface of his personality here's an interview conducted in markus's presence "get out of my way, horny bunny i'm headed to an interview with grunt the horny ox, ah" interviewer says "get out of my way, you horny bunny i'm headed to an interview with grunt the horny ox, eh" so markus says "why would you interview grunt oh why in the world would you interview grunt" the interviewer says "there are 100 girls in this city that grunt got pregnant and he left every single one in the cold yes, there are 100 girls in this city that grunt got pregnant and he left every single one in the cold yes he's he's going to prison next wednesday and i want to interview him he's going to prison next wednesday i just want to interview him" [cough] whoo so markus says "oh, here comes my main moose, whoo" and he says "mister interviewer, i would like you to meet la, the singing moose, la la the singing moose"
Markus Jokes
- Kim 11 track 13
- started: 1988-0?-??
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 1:35
- Travis Emmitt - percussion, talking
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
These are some dumb jokes bring an end to the written Markus saga. Finally!
Lyrics to "Markus Jokes":
all right still, you know very little about markus i'll first describe his appearance he is dull, ugly, and has bird doo-doo on his head next is personality hasn't been located yet but he pretends to be cool and in control of himself lastly, markus's hobbies: singing backup with la crying underwater going to the bathroom and talking to bob the dead turtle that's most of it feldman couldn't have done any better, i'm serious ok these are 6 jokes by markus number 1 should i have a drum roll poumogh's talking he says "hey bob, you look dead, got any sleep last night" whoo all right number 2 larry says "how many opossums does it take to fill a dead turtle shell" la says "i don't know" larry says "1" whoo ok and markus had wrote something down that had "mama helped me this one" number 3 1 2 3 4 8 whoo man these are great number 4 how does an egg laying chicking go to the bathroom carefully ha ha ha ha ha number 5 it's a cut-down you are so witty that i cower whoo number 6 how do you spell accent yes yes yes whoo and that's it
Smash
- Kim 11 track 14
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 4:17
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, percussion, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Oh great, more Markus. Well, not really. I didn't have anything pre-written this time. I didn't even stick to the title ("Smash"). This is benign. Thankfully!
I was experimenting with different micing and mixing effects. The music is sloppy, but more interesting than the last few songs.
Lyrics to "Smash":
i have no idea where the other silly things are but i'm gonna write a song now it's gonna be called smash and it's gonna be about markus, it's gonna be very depressing and it's gonna be serious all right it's called smash [scat] crash go the cymbals they fall to the floor crash go the cymbals as they fall to the floor crash go the cymbals yeah as they fall to the floor crash go the cymbals whoo as they fall to the floor hey watch me fly hey bring it back in yeah bring it back in whoo whoo crash go the cymbals as they fall to the floor that's how i feel about my life on this day and crash go the cymbals as they fall to the floor that's how i feel [scat] my name is markus; i've a very pitiful life the one thing i want is to be satisfied but i never get satisfied, never get satisfied i'm a loser from my birth [scat] hit the black keys now hit the black keys now just the feel the rhythm now my name is markus; i'm a very lonely rabbit hey my name is markus; i'm a very lonely rabbit hey i'm a very lonely rabbit, i'm a very lonely rabbit hey i'm a very lonely rabbit, i'm a very lonely rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit no no no no no no
Lies
- Kim 11 track 15
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 6:13
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, percussion, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This is a strangely trippy, and even more strangely political song. I have no idea what I was thinking. The music's not very great, and the improvised lyrics are skeletal, but it's interesting how I was trying to create a dub effect. I guess I was listeing to lots of heavy reggae back then.
Lyrics to "Lies":
ok this next song it's gonna be good it's gonna be serious it's gonna be depressing because i want it to be [scat] lies you're telling lies [scat] you're telling lies in in in the face of america you're you're telling lies lies lies in the in the face of america [scat] you're telling lies [scat] lies in the face of america [scat] you're telling lies in the face of america [scat] you're telling lies in the face of america you're telling lies in the face of america [scat] josh carpenter rap carpenter crap [scat] it's all lies tell me are they all lies [scat] tell me actually really true lies [scat] telling lies in the face of america we're telling lies how many are actually true lies [scat] lies trading arms to iran lies we're telling lies in the face of america ??? lies in the face of ??? how 'bout afghanistan vietnam took so many lives [scat] lies in the face of america in the face in the face in the face of america how many lies do we understand [scat] lies in the face of america we're telling lies, lies, lies, lies, lies... yeah it's a really are advice we gotta find a way to pull out [scat] look at this mess we find ourselves in ??? lies why do you go on telling lies telling lies why do you go on telling lies telling lies just tell me why do you go on telling those, telling those lies why do, why do you go on telling lies, telling lies why do you go on telling lies you're telling lies why must we go on hearing lies you're telling lies why must we go on telling lies your silly lies your stupid lies your stupid lies are taking their toll lies are taking lives in america [scat]
Really Fast Paced
- Kim 11 track 16
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 1:19
- Travis Emmitt - Casio CT-310, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Dumb music, kinda funny lyrics. Pure improv. The ending devolved into lame drumming and groaning, so I've snipped it. Zero loss.
Lyrics to "Really Fast Paced":
all right this next one is fast paced i haven't even written the lyrics to it yet but we're gonna have fun it's really fast paced even though i don't know if it will win can you think of something that's wrong with me can you just write it down in alphabetical order can you think of something that's wrong with me just write it down in alphabetical order can you think of something bad with me can you think of something bad with me can you think of something bad with me [scat] write it down in alphabetical order i have so many faults it's really disgusting [scat] 1 2 3 4
Blaa Blaa Blaa Poop
- Kim 11 track 17
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 0:32
- Travis Emmitt - french horn, talking
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
More evidence of my stellar french horn skills.
Lyrics to "Blaa Blaa Blaa Poop":
ow, my foots asleep; i have to go upstairs i really wasted this tape before i go i'd like to play something on my french horn this is a piece i call blaa blaa blaa poop all right yes yes whoo
Seven Stars
- Kim 11 track 18
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 1:55
- Travis Emmitt - acoustic guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Here comes the guitar There go the listeners. The excruciating vocals do not help either. Not to mention the lyrics.
Lyrics to "Seven Stars":
honestly, this is the very very very last tune it's me playing play guitar and this is very sentimental and you might want to sit down for this sure, get your parents in for this i'm not gonna say anything bad that would upset them this is a totally clean song, very sentimental and something you can easily dance to at a party 7 twinkling stars they're lighting up the heavens for me on my way home 7 twinkling stars lighting up the heavens heavens heavens on my way home home we've got the 7 twinkling stars we've got the 7 lovely stars we've got 7 lovely stars stars stars stars... we've got the 7 lonely stars you can send this song to whomever you love 7 lonely stars second is the loneliest the second is the loneliest
Bye Bye
- Kim 11 track 19
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 0:42
- Travis Emmitt - acoustic guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Good thing I didn't have much endurance on guitar or else these songs would be longer! :)
Lyrics to "Bye Bye":
this next one is called bye bye and i am actually leaving as i do this so it'll get lighter and lighter 'cause i'm leaving the room ready dance dance we gotta dance going bye bye we gotta dance dance dance we gotta dance but we're going bye bye ah dance we gotta dance but we're going bye bye ah dance dance we gotta dance but we're going bye bye dance dance but we're going bye bye where's the pick dance dance
Hop Skip
- Kim 11 track 20
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 2:17
- Travis Emmitt - acoustic guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Yikes. I think I was making fun of square dancing.
Lyrics to "Hop Skip":
hop skip and jump hop skip and jump hop skip and jump you gotta hop skip hop skip hop hop hop hop hop skip hop skip hop skip you're not skipping in step hop hop hop hop skip skip skip hop skip hop hop skip skip skip and a left and right and a left left left left right right right left right left center foot center foot that is center foot light right right right and it dark dark with a left and another left hop skip hop skip and a jump from here oh bye bye i gotta go bye bye it's hop hop and a skip skip hop hop hop hop and a skip skip hey hop hop skip skip and it's a hop skip and another to grandmother's cottage where we all will sit down and think about oh her pie and it's a hop skip and a jump to grandmother's house and there will sit and eat her pie pie pie that was awful the guitar deserves to be burned for that but i don't have the matches
B Flat Augmented Boogeronie
- Kim 11 track 21
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 2:38
- Travis Emmitt - acoustic guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Man this is bad. I couldn't find my pick, so I used a quarter instead. And I sang about it.
Lyrics to "B Flat Augmented Boogeronie":
if i can find a pick then i'll play another song for you you seem to want an encore ah a quarter this one is rather happy and it will get you psyched but it's hard to dance to because of the way it's written it's a very complex pattern it call it b flag augmented boogeronie i'm using a quarter for a pick it looks real silly but i don't really care i'm using your quarter for a pick 7 g augmented [scat] but i'm using a quarter for a pick and it looks really silly but it looks like an ow it looks really silly and it looks like an ow and i don't give a care i'm using a quarter for a pick yay dance dance dance dance i'm using a quarter for a pick [scat] i'm using a quarter [scat] i'm using a quarter for a using a quarter for a [scat] i'm using a quarter for a [scat] i'm using a quarter for a [scat] i'm using a quarter for a [scat] yes i'm using whoo a quarter for a pick [scat] whoo now that one is gonna take me into the concerts the crowds will just love it; they'll eat it up
You Will Get a Vote
- Kim 11 track 22
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 1:39
- Travis Emmitt - acoustic guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Please let the torture end! Fortunately these guitar songs are very short, due to my low stamina.
Lyrics to "You Will Get a Vote":
ok since there's so little time i might as well go all way the way, all right this is a waste of 2 dollars, 3 dollars actually because a tape costs 3 dollars i might as well finish up the tape there's very little time left who can obey, who can obey, who can obey you will get a vote whether i shall play a song yes you will get a vote 'cause how many times have i played wrong you will get a vote while i shall play a song and now you want to cast your vote so [scat] [scat] i cannot find my ??? ??? doesn't happen all the time
Last Guitar Song
- Kim 11 track 23
- recorded: 1988-05-0?
- location: Charlottesville
- length: 2:19
- Travis Emmitt - acoustic guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Finally I shut up and focused on wrenching some melodies out of the guitar. Not for long, though. And it's not like my focused guitar playing was (or is) any better than my unfocused playing. On a positive note, at least it brings and end to this rather pathetic tape/CD!
Lyrics to "Last Guitar Song":
last guitar song it's a solo eh hit it [scat] great tone quality yeah well there's not much time left and i'm saying good bye it was very fun and i hope i maintain my creative streak although it's somewhat diminished and bye bye bye bye bye