albums
Compilations
2012 Casio Picks
2012 Piano Picks
2012 Acoustic Picks
2012 Electric Picks
2013 Trex Video
Childhood (1974-90)
1977 Firsts
1978 Seconds
1985 Cacappella
1986 Eye Beater
1987 Guitarded
1988 Kim 1
1988 Kim 2
1988 Kim 3
1988 Kim 4
1988 Kim 5
1988 Kim 6
1988 Kim 7
1988 Kim 8
1988 Kim 9
1988 Kim 10
1988 Kim 11
1988 Kim 12
1989 Kim 13
1989 Five Dollar Drummer
1989 Wino Three Girls
1990 A Caustic Gutter
1996-1999
1996 NoVaSoCa
1996 Fullerton
1997 Soundtracks
1997 Walk Around
1997 Riding the Greyhound
1999 I Mowed
1999 Simulameous
1999 Yikes
1999 Piano Farte
2000-2008
2001 Marathon
2001 Days Like These
2001 Alcan Back
2001 Sleepy Sloppy
2001 Dad Day Jam
2002 Unfit
2002 The Key of G
2003 Daffy Day
2003 Januweary
2003 Post-Key
2003 Fatiguitar
2003 Oh No
2005 Waiting
2005 Sun Strike
2006 Stinky Room
2006 Schtupid
2007 Coy Pun
2007 Post-Ides
2007 Post-Ideas
2007 Post-Ideals
2007 Warble
2007 Another Same Day
2007 And Another
2007 Bald Ballads
2007 Lunch Broken
2007 Mayo
2007 Mayon
2007 Mayonandon
2007 Mayoff
2007 Juneo
2007 Juneon
2007 Juneonandon
2007 Two Song Rule
2007 Cavy Fury
2007 Infinity Daze
2007 Fall Start
2007 False Tart
2007 Fall End
2008 New Ear
2008 Decadend

Track List

# title lyrics time download listen started recorded rating
1 Longest Day lyrics 2:50 download listen locally - 2007-06-21
2 Cheese lyrics 2:51 download listen locally - 2007-06-21
3 Quick Pick lyrics 1:25 download listen locally - 2007-06-21
4 Fake Delay Blues 5 lyrics 1:36 download listen locally - 2007-06-21
5 Awful Filler lyrics 1:55 download listen locally - 2007-06-21
6 False Summer Start lyrics 1:18 download listen locally - 2007-06-21
7 Proxima Piranhas lyrics 1:34 download listen locally - 2007-06-21
8 Ballad of Shovel Man lyrics 17:03 download listen locally - 2007-06-21
9 Options lyrics 3:36 download listen locally - 2007-06-22
10 Nuke the Bug lyrics 4:57 download listen locally - 2007-06-22
11 Bug Heaven lyrics 4:32 download listen locally - 2007-06-22
12 Chord Progression lyrics 6:39 download listen locally - 2007-06-25
13 Insignificance lyrics 4:07 download listen locally - 2007-06-25
14 I Have No lyrics 2:53 download listen locally - 2007-06-25
15 Rely on Luck lyrics 1:50 download listen locally - 2007-06-25
16 No Stamina lyrics 3:55 download listen locally - 2007-06-25
17 Driveway Punk lyrics 1:53 download listen locally - 2007-06-25
18 Not Tonight lyrics 4:18 download listen locally - 2007-06-25
Total 69:12 play all locally album rating:

Notes

The album names get less and less creative as the hours pile up. So does the music.

Fortunately, this is the last album with the endless recording sessions; after this, I started imposing a 2 song a day rule, which hopefully improved the quality.

Songs

Longest Day

Opening up summer, and a new CD, with a mindless garage rock mess.

Lyrics to "Longest Day":

[gibberish]
21 june first day of summer

21 june
the longest day
21 of june
how long am i gonna play

21 of june 
i gotta play
alone in my room
i gotta play

my fingers cannot play
my fingers cannot play

21 of june
first day of summer
what a bummer

all alone in my room
what a bummer
21's a nice number

that was mindless and my arm is tired
  

Cheese

More noise. In the middle I broke a guitar strap.

Lyrics to "Cheese":

i like cheese i like cheese  esepcially gourmet
the cheese i like cheese but not every day

i like cheese i like cheese  but not the calories
i like cheese ??? every day

you know that cheese will make you fat
you know that cheese isn't all that

you know that cheese will make you fat
you [thud]

all right i gotta incorporate that into the song
you wanna know what happened
i'll tell you what happened

un du caca caca

you know i just broke a guitar strap
it's a kmart guitar but not really
it's a kmart guitar but not really
  

Quick Pick

Fast and sloppy, this time using a pick.

Lyrics to "Quick Pick":

got the pick
it makes me sound quick
but it's all fake
'cause i can't really play

it's all just fake
  

Fake Delay Blues 5

Truly awful.

Lyrics to "Fake Delay Blues 5":

throw in a little bit of fake delay
and you get this
the fake delay blues number 5

it's the fake delay blues number 5
it's barely alive
it's the fake blues number 5
it's barely alive

oh this is awful
this is awful

side 2 should be better
i mean anything can be better than this right
  

Awful Filler

Just filling up the end of the side of the tape.

Lyrics to "Awful Filler":

ain't got no sense of rhythm
ain't got no sense of time
ain't got the ability to please anybody
cannot read what's in your mind

i suck
i suck
i suck
i say that the pass the buck
  

False Summer Start

Dumb.

Lyrics to "False Summer Start":

all right, today is still the 21st day of june
uno day of summer
proxima day of summer
proxima day of summer
proxima day
proxima day
proxima day
proxima day

oh that just collapsed
that's called false summer start 
  

Proxima Piranhas

Another dumb one. I like the joke at the end, though.

Lyrics to "Proxima Piranhas":

and this is proxima 1
no this is proxima 2

the proxima day of summer
is upon us upon us upon us
the hot rays of summer
are falling on us on us on us

the melting rays of summer
are on us are on us on us on us and on us
the hot rays of summer
are on us are on us are on us are on us are on us

they're piranhas

that's mindless

proxima piranhas that's the name of that one
  

Ballad of Shovel Man

Switching gears. No pun intended.

This is an epic medley-esque improv, a la Sonic Youth. Minus the quality. The humor at the end runs a little thin. There are, however, several funny spots, and decent guitar playing. Mine away!

Lyrics to "Ballad of Shovel Man":

i was driving in a pickup truck one day
saw a hitchhiker by the road with a spade
asked him hey whatcha going with that spade
he says a shovel you fool no one calls them spades any way

i said it's not a shovel it's a spade it's a card you silly card
he said ??? heatstroke
i said well if you wanna ride you better be a nice friendly bloke
and he said no no i don't think so i'm just gonna kill you
and i said no no i'm just gonna see you
and i peeled off

and he chased after me
with the shovel in his hand and the spade in his mouth
he chased after me
i headed north and he followed me until i was heading back south
to mexico

the heat got to me i cried silently
it was melting my fingers to the bone

i kept driving in circles hoping to shake the mad man
i didn't want to lead him to my home

and the sun the sun beat down on me
and he kept on following
and the sun melted into me
and the guy kept following

persistent little bugger
persistent little bugger
i thought he was a mugger
but he really was a crazy fool

persistent little bugger
persistent little bugger
i thought he was a mugger
wouldn't you

you know
the guitar pick
makes you sacrifice accuracy for speed
sacrifice accuracy for flaws
sacrifice accuracy for speed
just in hope that it it awes

but you know accuracy sounds better when you listen tomorrow
speed is just a temporary illusion
like putting a bandaid on a cat's head
or sticking a piece of hay up a guinea pig's butt
or taking a shovel across the little elderly polish woman's head

why must you get so crude
why must you sound so rude
why must you spoil what was otherwise a pretty bland song

because i say without humor
my interest wanders away
without saying something mnemonic
i just cannot stick to the tonic

but if i'm saying witty lyrics
i have the patience of a s
yeah i said witty lyrics i didn't say utter the cliches

if i have the patience of a s-word
if i have the patience of a doctor but there we go

if i have the patience of a doctor
if i have the patience of a nurse
i don't need the accuracy
i don't need the quality
i just need need to be me
i can't think of much worse

if i have witty lyrics
i don't need solos
that's the punk ethics
or is it called ethos

power chord

so the man eventually caught up to me
and he said i was just trying to scare ye
and i say nobody uses the word ye anymore
but he said maybe i am not from this world

i'm from the other side
i said i don't think so
and he said
i am the spawn of the jodie and the and then downie and the
i am the spawn of the the jodie and the downie
i am the spawn of the the jodie and the downie
i am the spawn of the the jodie and the downie

and he picked up his shovel and he wielded it like a broom
and proceded to shovel all the dust from the corners of the room

'cause you see he had trapped me
in a little hotel with an acoustic booth
i couldn't hear what the guitarist was playing
because the acoustic isolation was so effective

the guitarist was in his own room
and i was with the guy who thought his shovel was a broom
and he kept coming at me
and i kept hiding behind the microphone stand

'cause i was really skinny back then
i was really skinny back then
i was really skinny back then
i was a really skinny man

here comes the madman with the shovel that he thinks is a broom
i can barely hear the guitarist cranking out his tunes from the other room
and the engineer is gesturing for me
to come up with a melody

i said i'm not a singer
and my guitarist is just another part of my personality
and the guy with the broom i mean the shovel is just a crazy loon
and the guy with the broom and the shovel is just about done
with his role in this tune tune tune tune tune

i'm the spawn of jodie and downie
i'm the spawn of jodie and downie

nobody likes the guitar jam without a beat
nobody will ever feel compelled to leave their seat
if there's no beat i won't leave my seat
it's no mean feat to add a little beat
no excuse to omit the beat
no reason to omit the beat

we want the beat
yeah we do
i speak for me and you and you and you and you

i have no idea what's gonna come of this
i'll just say this is the ballad of shovel man

shoveling shoveling in the snow
shoveling shoveling and here we go
shoveling shoveling in the snow
shovel man shovel thinks he has a broom
so he trapped me in the little engineering room
and i was trying to sing
but the guitarist was in the other room doing his thing

i don't think this is going anywhere i said
i don't think this song is going anywhere mister engineer
i think we better cut our losses and shut off the tape
i think this is just an awful awful tape after the last few
this is a really big disappointment

it's a disappointment
yes that's what i meant
it's a it's a it's a disappointment
it's a it's a it's a disappointment

i got an appointment with
i got an appointment with

anything but you
that is true
i want anything but you
chasing me with that fake broom

i want anything but you
chasing me around the room
i want anything but you
corrupting my tune

and messing up my tune
stinking up the room
cluttering up the room

you and your fake broom
get out get out of my room
you and your shovel broom
get out get out of my room

shovel your own tune
or shovel your own tomb
shovel your own tune
just get out of my room

get out get out of my room
i'm flatulant and so are you
the gases mixes and create a toxic stew
we're flatulant and we say p u
this is flatulant i think i've had it
i think this song's through

we're flatulant making a stew
we're flatulants how about you
we're flatulant making a stew
p u we said stinky poo
stinky poo
stinky poo

the song ain't worthy of anything else that it could be put next to
i know what i will do
i gotta rhyme with oo
say my favorite word is poo
flatulatuance in the room
flatulatuance stinky poo
flatulatuance in the room
flatulatuance i gotta poo
stinky poo

flatulatuance in the room
flatulatuance stinky poo
flatulatuance in the room
flatulatuance stinky poo

[scat]

that stunk
  

Options

Kinda tight for Trex. Boring lyrics, though.

Lyrics to "Options":

all right 
i flicked a bug
i don't know where it went

here's the idea i had before i came in here
today is the 22nd of june

1 2 3 4

everybody's got a choice between hanging and banging
everybody's got a choice between opera and head banging
everybody's got a choice between hanging and banging
everybody's got a choice between tofu and bacon
but me

i ain't got no choice
i've got a banging in my blood
i get bored by delicacy
violence doesn't phase me
as long as it's on tv

hey

everybody's got a choice between vietnamese and japanese and chinese
everybody's got a choice between pizza lasagna and all the other raviolis
everybody's got a choice between reading fiction and non fiction and dictionaries
everybody's got a choice between believing in buddha or jesus and mary
but me

i just can't believe just anything
i just cannot taste everything
i cannot be enthustiastic about everything
i didn't like titanic but everyone else did
everybody else did

everybody's got a choice between verse 1 and verse 2
everybody can decide which one they like better than you
everybody can pick between lyrics and the chords
everybody can choose to stick around listen or head for the door

i don't know why i'm belaboring this point
i have options it's my own fault if i don't exercise them
i have options abounded
i have vocabulary well rounded

[scat]

that collapsed
  

Nuke the Bug

This starts off sounding like heavy cheese, but then turns funny before collapses into another type of cheese.

Lyrics to "Nuke the Bug":

i don't know where i flicked the bug that was on my leg
it's somewhere in here and i hope it doesn't lay and egg
or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 6
or 7 or 8 or 9 or 10 eggs
or 11 or 12 13 14 15 16 eggs
17 18 19 20 21 22 eggs
23 eggs 24 eggs 25 26 27 28 29
30 eggs 31 eggs 32 33 34 35
36 eggs and 37 eggs 37 37 37 37 eggs
hatching 37 babies
in my studio
that is yucky yucky

i hate bugs
i hate bugs

so i think i'll get a can of insect killing spray
well maybe not today
how long does it take
a little bug to lay 
37 eggs

should i get the spray
and kill the bug today
should i spray the air
or is that not fair

give the bug a fighting chance
yuck i hate the bugs
yuck i hate the bugs
yuck i hate the bugs

i wish all the bugs would die
i don't mind the bumblebees when i'm outside
i wish all the bugs would go away
i see the body of a yellow jacket stuck to a piece of tape

so what should i do
should i kill the bug through and through
with chemicals or should i stomp around
should i vaccuum or should i just move furniture around

and pretend i crushed it with the leg of a chair or a table
pretend that i stomped it when i wasn't really looking
is that killing is that killing is it sufficient exermination
should i convince myself that i've rid myself of the pest

or should i perhaps be more thorough
and remove every single piece of furniture from this room
  and the house while i am at it
call the fumigator call the insect squad
come and spray my house drown it in chemicals i'll move out

if you just kill this bug
oh i hate this bug
please please kill my bug
oh it's a little bitty bug

on the other hand i'm not convinced it really was a bug
it may have just have been a piece of tape
i see lots of pieces of tape all around the floor
little black things plastic or something

pieces of headphone i think
i think a little bit of headphones all over the floor and table
i think it's headphones
why was it wriggling on my leg of it's headphone material
i think it was a bug

so call the fumigators the exterminators
just nuke the bug and nuke the bug and nuke the bug and nuke the bug 
just nuke the bug nuke the bug nuke the bug nuke the bug 
you gotta nuke the bug nuke the bug nuke the bug nuke nuke nuke

you've got to nuke the bug
  

Bug Heaven

Another song about bugs. It gets interrupted by my vibrating phone half way through,

Lyrics to "Bug Heaven":

somewhere in the depths of the earth
there is a bug bug heaven

somewhere in the bowels or the earth
there is a bug bug heaven

don't want to go there
don't want to see it
don't want to go there

don't want to go to bug heaven
don't want to visit all the brethren
don't want to go to where the termites
are chronic grave diggers

in bug heaven
there's no 7-11
just a quick stop
and they don't see raid there

and i bet there's a mouse heaven
full of birdseed for them to put into pyrimidical shapes

i don't want to see mouse heaven
it can rot in hell for all i care
i don't want to see mouse tutankankamen
its pyrimid is just a couple inches in the end

and bird heaven still stinks of rotten worms
no early bird will be allowed there

that is the end of the silly story
i hope i didn't bore your
i just needed some lyrics quick
sorry they were a little sick
sorry i feel like i played a trick
sorry raving of a lunatic
  

Chord Progression

Simple. Predicatable. Just like the chord progression.

Lyrics to "Chord Progression":

25th of june 2007

can't get sued over this chord progression
won't win any medals with this chord progression
won't win any fans with this chord progression
won't win any notoriety with this chord progression
won't win any thing with this chord progression

oh it's a predictable chord progression
it's a bit of a chord progression
won't win any accolades with this chord progression
won't get on any compilations with this chord progression
won't achieve anything with this chord progression
won't even earn my own enthusiasm with this chord progression

this chord progression is just a cliche
and it's not ok
to keep on playing
this lame lame lame lame chord progression

it is not permissible to sing with any decible on this chord 
chord progression

this chord progression suffers from retardation
this is a down syndrome chord progression
no offense to all the down syndrome tripecac fans
i bet you can play better than i can
i know you can bicycle 
and go to the bank
maybe tie your own shoe
maybe play better than you
that makes no sense but that's ok 
'cause this is a pathetic chord progression
it's a bad chord progression

it's it's 1 4 5
it's just a 1 4 5 progression
it's a really bad progression

so why must i keep playing this really clicheic chord progression
why must i keep on insisting on repeating the same old stupid chord progression

come on travis 
shake yourself out of the rut
come on move your butt
put down your foot

this is a pathetic chord progression
this is a really bad chord progression

nobody would pay to hear this chord progression
some things don't belong on cd and this is one chord progression
it's a 1 4 5 progression
it's a really pathetic chord progression
it's a downie downie syndrome chord progression
it's a stupid chord progression

come on let's face it nothing can save this chord progression
it's a pathetic one
i can't argue against nuking it
rebuking it
feel like puking it

[cough] 
i coughed out the vapors that were choking me
i get choked up when i think how pathetic this can be
the fact that some bands never get farther than this
some bands drink beer that tastes like piss
some bands grow up on budweiser and stairway to heaven
and this pathetic chord progression
pathetic chord progression

oh how i'm almost done
yeah yeah i'm almost done
with this downie progression
with this downie progression
with the downie progression
with the downie progression
with the downie progression
with the downie progression
with this downie progression
with this downie progression

it's just 1 4 5 and a power chord
some one please pull the chord
that's a really bad rhyme but you know what
it sounds ok next to this chord progression
it's a power chord proression
a pathetic chord progression
it's a downie chord progression
1 4 5 progression
it's a downie progression
it's a i think i'm done
[scat]

that was really bad
  

Insignificance

Muddy, yucky. Dumb. Cuts off at the end.

Lyrics to "Insignificance":

same day 25th

it's the same day as it was today
this morning it was the same day as it is now
it's still the same day june 25th
not that anyone cares but me
there's no significance in june 25th
there's no significance in this riff
there's no significance in my life
that's not true
that's stupid

there's no significance in a digit
there's no significance in a digit

i don't know where my guitar playing skills have gone
i think i've lost it
i am so sloppy now 
is it because i haven't been practicing every single day
or maybe i'm just too hot
'cause the temperature is soaring in an 80 degree way

that is so sloppy
i wish i were floppy
i wish i could play something that sounded pretty cool at last
why must i struggle through the endless practices looking for a gem

this isn't significant oh no
it sounds like i am blowing the guitar's nose
it's not significant oh no
mucus on the strings makes me play slow

and my fingers are slippery with boogers
well at least that's how it sounds
they're slippery with bodily juices
ok that's pretty disgusting

oh so are these chords
they make me recoil in disgust 
at my own inability to yank something tuneful out of the guitar 
and the pod and the 4-track oh
and of course my voice gotta blame that too

it's the same old thing it's the same complaint
it's a lack of ability and restraint
it's the same old insignificant effort
insignificance results from my effort
insignificance doomed to insignificance
insignificance doomed to insignificance
  

I Have No

New tape, same stuff.

Lyrics to "I Have No":

25th of june 2057
in the all familiar key of e

i have no patients
said the doctor to the nurse
i have no doctor
said the patient to the nurse

i have no nurse
said the baby to the rock
i wanna rock
said the child to the tree

won't you dance with me
won't you dance with me
come on now dance with me

i have no talent
said the travis to the crowd
i have no travis
said the crowd to cloud

all these lyrics don't make much sense to me
said the doggie to the piece of tree
all these lyrics make no sense to me
said the kitty to the bug on the leaf

i have no talent
said the travis to his diary
p.s. you know i've got no ideas
or any patience or any 
  

Rely on Luck

Dumb. No lucky breaks here.

Lyrics to "Rely on Luck":

i am not the ???
i am not gifted
i am not organized in my musical ideas right now

gotta rely on luck you see
gotta hope that i hit a note that 
sounds ok once every once in a while
and say something that resembles 

something else that is witty
gotta rely on luck
something that is witty
'cause in truth i kinda suck

i have got no skill
i'm playing still
barely moving
my hand it cramping

that means i got no stamina
that means i got no stamina
that means i got no stamina
  

No Stamina

Continues the previous idea.

Lyrics to "No Stamina":

all right i'm gonna try this again

i've got no stamina
i've got no quality control
i've got no stamina
why are you going now

'cause i'm stammering stammering
??? stammering

it's not working
this music
this isn't working

i've got no stamina
i've got no self control
i've got no stamina
got no idea

but that never stopped me ew
that never stopped me ew
that never stopped me
that never stopped me

i've got no stamina
i've got no idea
i've got no stamina
but it never stopped me
no it never stopped me

i've got no stamina
i've got no idea
i've got no stamina
but that never stopped me
no it never stopped me
no it never stopped me
no it never stopped me

i've got no stamina
i've got no idea
i've got no stamina
but that never stopped me

i've got no stamina
i've got no idea
i've got no stamina
but that never stopped me
no no don't let it stop me
not gonna let it stop me
but my ear is buzzing

there's a stranger in the driveway
and i'm playing real loud
there's a stranger looking at me
or at least i suspect

i've got no stamina
i've got no idea
i've got no stamina
i've got no idea

i've got no stamina
not gonna let it stop me
  

Driveway Punk

Really dumb improv. I think I was just trying to play loud to see if I could get the attention of the people in the driveway. Too bad I didn't pick a better [power] chord progression.

Lyrics to "Driveway Punk":

this is for all those people in the driveway
who are just happening to be passing by

you know
don't know how to punk rock
punk rock is just too hard for me
don't know how to punk rock
???
  

Not Tonight

Another gripy one.

Lyrics to "Not Tonight":

all right well

i go from good mood to not so bad
and i find that there's no walk tonight
i go from good mood to crap mood
and i find we're not alone tonight

you might call me selfish
'cause i want you to myself
you may call me antisocial
'cause i want to keep you up on my shelf

i want to be alone tonight
but i can't get that 
wanna wanna be alone tonight
no i can't get that

i guess that i have to accept that we have to share our lives
with other people uh huh
i guess i have to accept that 
i gotta share you with other people

wanna be alone tonight
but that's not gonna happen
wanna be alone tonight
no it's not gonna happen

we got the bad news well at least for me it's a pity pity
that i can't have you for myself
i want to be your only focal point
but that's not gonna be at least not tonight

i've got to share you with the monsters
i gotta to share you with the leeches
i gotta to share you with people
who'd rather just lie on beaches

i wanna ??? i wanna be alone with you
but it's not gonna happen not tonight
if i had my way it's only be me and you
but it's not gonna happen not tonight
no it's not gonna happen not tonight
no it's not gonna happen tonight

and to be honest it kinda pissed me off
that i have to give up my sanctuary
and to be honest i bet it pisses you off
to be trapped in my sanctuary

maybe you don't want to be alone with me
maybe you want to have other people in your life
maybe you wanna have other people around you to give you a sense of perspective
maybe you don't want everything that i say to sound right

but that is irrelevant
in the context of this song
fade out