Click on the thumbnail to view a printable cd sleeve.- Title: Bald Ballads
- Artist: Trex
- Timespan: 2007
- Theme: more dead horse beating
- Length: 60:40
- Tracks: 14
- Lyrics: 14
- MP3s: 14 play all locally
- Rating: ** [2] (1 rating) rate this album
Track List
Notes
Ugh. These are even worse.
There's really not much real music here, just flailing.
Songs
Hitler
- Bald Ballads track 1
- recorded: 2007-04-20
- location: Bellingham
- length: 8:05
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
The real motivations behind WW2.
Lyrics to "Hitler":
happy hitler's birthday, everybody happy happy birthday everybody hitler was born today somewhere in the european lands he was born today about 100 years ago hitler was a good man unlike his brother adolf i'm of course talking about gunther hitler gunther hitler was a good samaritan and he was half-jewish but he always fought with his brother about things like money and things like religion and things like money and things like how to wear your facial hair gunther hitler was a deeply religious man unlike his brother adolf who was a jerk adolf was so embarassed by his good samaritan older brother that he disowned him and that is why you never see gunther in the history books but gunther was a good man and adolf fought with him whenever he can everybody liked gunther and adolf was insanely jealous so he proposed that gunther go away gunther hitler was a ladies' man so he went to the most famous place where they land the ladies can you guess where that is, that is right, it's paris gunther hitler lived in paris for almost a month before hitler decided to invaded because hitler and by hitler i mean adolf was so jealous of his brother's prowess in the sack so he decided to steal his brother back first he invaded belgium and then he invaded france and all the while his brother gunther was having trouble keeping on his pants 'cause everybody liked gunther unlike his brother everybody loved gunther but adolf was the other, nutter happy birthday adolf gunther said when he greeted him on the gates of paris and adolf just pretended not to know him that was his revenge for all the fun that gunther was having after that adolf kinda lost heart he turned his back on france and decided to attack his sister patricia who lived in russie patricia was a brother she, like her brother gunther was deeply religious, deeply samaritanical samaritanical and she couldn't stand her other shrimpy brother adolf so she moved to russia to live with a big woman and a big man a big bear man patricia saw her brother's troops preparing to invade and you know what she did? she drank the vodka she had one vice and that was the vodka she had one vice and that was the vodka the wodka, the wodka, the wodka and adolf could not religion or spirits that included his sister's fetish for vodka spirits so adolf decided to invade with his mighty army pow pow barabarossa all because of patricia adolf wasn't very good to siblings adolf had one sibling left it was a transsexual hermaphrodite it was not a brother, it was not a sister it was an it the its name was jodie jodie hitler had at a very young age decided she was special she loved to sweep, sweep, sweep jodie hitler couldn't find any place to sweep near home so she went to america on her own and here she lives to this day she's about 90 years old and she loves to sweep and sweep all day anyway jodie couldn't stand what her brother adolf was doing to her other siblings so she said, hey, america, can you go kick my brother's but can you go kick my brother's but and america said, all right, going just don't ask us for any more favors even though you are special you only get one favor from us put you in a home somewhere in northwest somewhere in the northwest somewhere in the northwest after we get gone and kick the adolf's butt and then turning our face to the other bully whose name is hirohito whose birthday is fortunately on some other day so i don't have to sing about him
(c) 2007 Trex
Ballad of Bald
- Bald Ballads track 2
- recorded: 2007-04-20
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:48
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Kinda dumb.
Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald":
this is called the ballad of bald hey everbody, all you bald people out there hey everbody, that's right, i didn't practice that's right, i didn't practice 'cause this is all an improv this is all an improv this is all an improv this is all an improv that's right, i didn't practice that's right, i didn't practice this is all an improv this is all an improv this is all an improv that's right, i did an improv that's right, i did an improv that's right, i did an improv i'm making it all up i need to learn some more chords don't you think somewhere in the islands there lived an emperor but his birthday was another day somewhere in the islands there lived an emperor but his birthday was another day another day and it's the 60s now everybody revolution and love the 60s come on get your flowers out come on and get your flowers and hula hoops out that's right, i didn't practice this is all an improv that's right, i didn't practice this is all an improv that's right, i didn't practice this is all an improv that's right, i didn't practice and this is all an improv that's right, i didn't practice and this is all an improv that's right, i didn't practice this is all an improv that's right, i didn't practice and this is all an improv that's right, i didn't practice and this is all an improv that's right, i didn't practice and this is all an improv ah that's right, i didn't practice this is all an improv this is all an improv this is all an improv that was horrid
(c) 2007 Trex
Ballad of Bald Chatter
- Bald Ballads track 3
- recorded: 2007-04-20
- location: Bellingham
- length: 0:45
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, talk
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Blaa blaa blaa. The music doesn't go anywhere. Does it ever?
Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald Chatter":
that was called the ballad of the bald part 1 and if that doesn't appear on the cd and ballad of the bald part 2 does then we just will understand that ballad of the bald part 1 sucked i mean, of course anything with the trex moniker on it sucks all right in case y'all didn't figure it out hitler's birthday is the famous 4/20 and this year it's 2007
(c) 2007 Trex
Ballad of Bald 2
- Bald Ballads track 4
- recorded: 2007-04-20
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:19
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
More dumbness.
Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald 2":
this is ballad of the bald part 2 ballad of bald part 2 no the there's no the in ballad of bald there's no the in ballad of bald [scat] there's no the in ballad [scat] there no [scat] god i play like a child, don't i there's no the in ballad of the bald there's no the in ballad of the bald there's no the in ballad of bald of bald, of bald, gotta say it right there's no the in ballad of the bald there's no the in ballad of bald there's no the in ballad of bald that's right, i gotta say it right there's no the in ballad of bald there's no the in ballad of bald there's no the in ballad of bald i gotta right say it right what's the point of ballad of bald god i'm awful of course, i don't have to say that you can hear it yourself there's no the in ballad of bald there's no the in ballad of bald there's no the in ballad of bald that's right, i gotta say the the there's no the in ballad of bald there's no the in ballad of bald oh screw it i gotta turn over the tape this has been horrible this is really horrible maybe i should just record over it i don't know i mean, it's just a waste of tape
(c) 2007 Trex
Ballad of Bald 3
- Bald Ballads track 5
- recorded: 2007-04-20
- location: Bellingham
- length: 1:54
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Ugh. More. As if we need it.
Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald 3":
my advisors advised me to advise them to advise me to record over that last song but i didn't listen to them because i advised them to advise me not to listen to them when they advise me that's not funny, the ballad of bald this is making me want to puke all over the tape recorder it's so horrible this is ballad of bald part 3 i really stink at it there's no the in ballad of bald there's no that was part 3 am i gonna get any parts onto the trex cd? am i gonna get any parts onto the trex cd? am i gonna get any parts onto the trex cd? am i gonna get any parts am i gonna get any parts am i gonna get any parts on the trex cd so the deal was 4 o'clock for a walk it's 3:37 and i'm here by myself again and again and again i would say you always cancel you always cancel why does the amp sound so tinny why does the music sound so puny
(c) 2007 Trex
Ballad of Bald 4
- Bald Ballads track 6
- recorded: 2007-04-20
- location: Bellingham
- length: 5:53
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Not quite better.
Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald 4":
ballad of bald part 4 better be better better be better better better you can't just announce it better be better and expect it to magically be better you have to make it better, travis you gotta make it better you gotta make it better you gotta make it better you gotta make it better you gotta make it better you gotta make it better you gotta make it better you gotta make it better you gotta make it better you forgot why you're doing trex the whole point of trex is practice, isn't it? the whole point of trex is trying things out exercise and experiment ??? ??? so regimented it got so formulaic the point of trex is experiment oh ??? shut up the point of trex is experiment i must admit i do it because i like to make noise i don't have ??? the legions of fans i don't have any legions of fans i don't have any legions of fans i don't even have dozens of fans i don't even have more than 2 or 3 fans who would actually listen to an entire album actually i think the exact number of fans is 2 me and you just strip away complexity and what you have is a simple chord that is based on e whoever invented power chords had me in mind i like a simple algorithm i hate complexity i like repetition and ??? they are all ??? to me good to me good to me good to me good to me you know, my fingers are getting tired got it collapses it just sort of collapsed that's not cool although my fingers are getting tired
(c) 2007 Trex
Ballad of Bald 5
- Bald Ballads track 7
- recorded: 2007-04-20
- location: Bellingham
- length: 6:31
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Almost done.
Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald 5":
all right this is it i always say i always say this is the last song it's never the last song this is the last song it's never the last song i just pick a chord it's always based on e or a power chord i don't know how to play i don't really know how to play i don't really know how to play i don't really know how to play i can make this noise all day i will ruin a hundred tapes i just don't know how to play i don't know how to play but i, i thin i have fun this way not knowing quite how to play i think i have fun this way i can do this every day the only people that suffer is you but i will continue i just don't know how to play but it's more fun this way i don't know just how to play is this more fun this way i don't know just how to sing but this is my own thing i just don't know how to play but it's more fun this way so 4 o'clock is almost here now i by myself??? ??? [scat] it is almost 4 o'clock and i just commence to rock i have ??? somehow i don't think i'll hear the door at 4 i'll hear a ring and that ??? everything that's what i am always expecting excuses i'm too busy for you travis i'm too busy for you travis ??? i cannot be ??? right now well i am busy too if you can tell i am so busy right now doing stuff so importante i am doing ??? important [scat] right now ??? infected it looks like a cold sore but it's not or at least i think it's not maybe it's a ??? i hope i do not edit all these songs the trex cds will go on for too long who will listen to all this junk it's not even as entertaining as us punk which was bad enough it was bad enough it bad enough bad enough it was bad enough bad enough bad enough bad enough us punk was bad enough uk punk was more tough that was stupid but that's ok 'cause this is trex, i can do it any day that is stupid is ok ??? all the time [scat] are you getting tired of this pattern my fingers do not hit it right each time i cannot play consistently i cannot ??? and then do this and sing at the same time i always make mistakes but that's the game i play trex is ??? mistakes trex is about ??? mistakes the name of this song is ballad of bald part 4 or part 5; i don't remember which it is the name of this song is ballad of bald part 4 or 5 it ??? it's ok because i get to pick the songs i chose and it's ok because i get to pick each chord i play and right now i can't help if all the chords i play are all about power chords today that's all i know how to play maybe i'll play more complex chords some day but for now i ??? play the power chords i know i am getting bored too i think i'm gonna wind this up my fingers are getting tired i think i'll just ??? this one last cycle bye bye bye bye bye bye bye
(c) 2007 Trex
1 2 3
- Bald Ballads track 8
- recorded: 2007-04-20
- location: Bellingham
- length: 1:33
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Mmm.
Lyrics to "1 2 3":
all right now i said i was gonna turn off the guitar or i said that was the last song all right now you know how when you're a kid and you do something wrong and the parents say i'm gonna count to three and they go 1 2 2 1/2 2 3/4 2 7/8 2 15/16 2 31/32 2 63/64 2 127/128 2 255/256 2 511/512 2 1023/1024 2 2047/2048 2 4191/4192 2 and i forget the next number 3
(c) 2007 Trex
Summer's Coming
- Bald Ballads track 9
- recorded: 2007-04-23
- location: Bellingham
- length: 3:05
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
New day, same old tape wasting.
Lyrics to "Summer's Coming":
all right today is 23rd of april 2007 the summer's coming the ants are coming god my vocals are horrible the summer's coming the summer's coming hey here come the spiders to scare us out of our home here come the door to door salesmen that was horrible
(c) 2007 Trex
Return of the Door to Door
- Bald Ballads track 10
- recorded: 2007-04-23
- location: Bellingham
- length: 11:44
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Painful.
Lyrics to "Return of the Door to Door":
all right this next song is called the return of the door to door return of the door to door they're coming, they're coming they always ask me for more return of the door to door return of the door to door return of the door to door they're coming, they're coming they always ask me for more return of the door to door return of the door to door same thing every single year it never varies, it never varies they're just asking me for their they're just asking me to pay attention to their agenda all right ??? we're horribly distorted, aren't we? return of the door to door return of the door to door maybe someone why is it so loud today i don't want it to be this loud it's too loud it's too loud return of the door to door return of the door to door everything is just too loud everything is just so painfully loud why why does it have to be so painfully loud everything is so loud today here come the summers here come the summers and the summer temperatures here come the summer summer summer summer ??? ??? today i wonder if the ice cream is bad today ??? this is just as bad as anything ipecac ever did i wonder if the bad the summer, the summer, the summer, the summer the summer's gonna fry my brain too much the summer's gonna fry my brain it's too hot, it's too hot, you know it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know ease up on the reverb too much reverb that's better here comes the summer here comes the summer everybody loves it but i think it's a bummer 'cause it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer man oh what a bummer it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know we're missing, that's what we're missing we're missing bass we need something in the bass ??? bass this is a mess here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer oh my god what a bummer 'cause it's too hot, you know, it's too too much all right this is take 2 same day 23rd of april this is actually take a million i'm just recording over the last few takes which were horrid, horrid here comes here comes here comes the summer here ah shoot i lost it, man here comes the summer here comes the summer here here comes the summer here comes the summer some people love the summer but i like the winter better 'cause it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know oh that was horrible here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer my my what a bummer 'cause it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer and my my what a bummer 'cause it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know some people like the winter but i like the s that makes no sense got it see? this what it's been like i just make mistake after mistake after mistake i'm not doing anything right i'm a little bit disgusted with myself, i must say i'm a little bit disgusted with myself here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer my my my what a bummer 'cause it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know here comes the ahh all right i'm recording over this for the third time it's so hot in here, it's crazy all right, i seriously have to open the doors but it's really hot in here and the amp is loud it's hurting my ears i have to get back to work this is such a waste of time so frustrating 'cause it's so hot i'm getting cranky so let's cranky it i know, that's not the right sound here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer god what a bummer 'cause it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know here comes the summer here comes the summer some people think it's great but i think it is a bummer 'cause it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know all right i'm pressing record without even caring this is i'm recording over this the 4th time because i have to get this right oh god here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer oh god what a bummer 'cause it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer oh god what a bummer 'cause it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know some people like the spring and summer but i like the winter better it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know all right i messed up 1 2 3 4 here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer oh god what a bummer 'cause it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer oh god what a bummer 'cause it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer oh god what a bummer 'cause it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know some people like the spring and summer but i like the winter better ha it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know my guitarist stinks he's such a bummer he's not so hot you know he's god come on guitarist, wake up the guitarist is awful let's get in sync not the guitarist stop it here comes the summer here comes the summer here comes the summer oh god what a bummer 'cause it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know you know it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know that wasn't so hot, you know, that wasn't so hot, you know that wasn't so hot, you know, that wasn't so hot, you know i know it was not i know it was not, you know, i know it was not, you know
(c) 2007 Trex
Cows Intro
- Bald Ballads track 11
- recorded: 2007-04-23
- location: Bellingham
- length: 0:13
- Travis Emmitt - talk
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
This talks about how in the middle of the tape I switched from dictaphone back to 4-track. The confusing timeline (with "previous" songs being either 19 April, 20 April, or 23 April) is part of the reason I stopped doing experiments like this.
Lyrics to "Cows Intro":
today's the 23rd of april that last one was recorded 4 days ago on the 19th of april on 2 track dictaphone this one is 4 track this one directly follows everything that i've recorded on the previous tape which is 4-track only
(c) 2007 Trex
Here Come the Cows
- Bald Ballads track 12
- recorded: 2007-04-23
- location: Bellingham
- length: 7:55
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
First we had "Here Come the Spiders", then "Here Comes the Summer", and now "Here Come the Cows". Sounds like my brain was tired!
The music certainly is fatigued. And fatiguing. It's basically just the same riff (and vocals) over and over using different presets on the Pod Pro.
Lyrics to "Here Come the Cows":
most likely i'm gonna throw away the 4/19 stuff which is pretty bad it's more of a sound test, you know not that trex has ever has ever graduated from the domain of sound tests here come the cows across the field they're coming to say hi i don't know why here come the cows across the field they're coming to say hi i still don't know why here come the cows they're getting closer now here come the cows here come the cows they're licking the fence the fence is my only defence here come the cows and behind them the bulls who are watching their cows here come the cows and here come the bulls here come the cows here come the bulls [repeat several times] here come the cows here come the bulls here come the [scat] the other tape is full of this sort of lame stuff too 2 3 4 here come the cows and here come the bulls here come the cows here come the bulls it's so hot in here that i can barely think it's so hot in here i feel like drinking from the sink here come the cows and here come the bulls here come the cows here come the bulls here come the cows and here come the bulls here come the cows amen
(c) 2007 Trex
I'm Not Really
- Bald Ballads track 13
- recorded: 2007-04-23
- location: Bellingham
- length: 5:20
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
The phaser makes this sound a bit like a Julian Cope jam. The ideas and performance are awful.
Lyrics to "I'm Not Really":
i'm not really a guitar player can you tell i'm not really a really singer can you tell i'm not really a guitar player can you tell i'm not really a decent singer can't you tell i'm not really playing this is an allen foster production i'm just joking i cannot blame another for my own incompetance trex is not going anywhere it's just flailing around hoping for luck i'm not doing anything i haven't done twenty time before the only difference is that instead of piano i'm an abusing a blaa blaa ah nice one travis the only difference is that instead of piano i'm abusing a guitar but it's still just bad, just bad, just bad just bad, that's trex oh just bad just bad 'cause trex is bad, it's bad trex is so bad trex hasn't evolved; it's just a chicken trex is just a juvenile fluffy chicken and sometime it will run into the road into the road, into the road sometime it will run into the road into the road, into the road that was a bad chord progression so long listen to me play the same notes over and over again trex has not since gone anywhere it's still travis alone with his guitars and notes travis is playing all alone he doesn't bother to practice except for when the tape recorder is on gotta roll for trex to roll i'm never on a roll just a spring roll
(c) 2007 Trex
Doopie Riff
- Bald Ballads track 14
- recorded: 2007-04-23
- location: Bellingham
- length: 2:35
- Travis Emmitt - electric guitar, vocals
- mp3: download listen locally (flash player)(HTML5 player)
Ugh.
Lyrics to "Doopie Riff":
so what can you do about it trav how can you fix this awful mess one is stop eating up tape like a demo stop fiddling with controls while recording stop playing the stupid 8th notes this is dumb riff i don't know why i play it i guess i'm playing a bass i don't know why i play it this is a doopie riff this is a doopie riff this is a doopie riff this is a doopie riff this is a doopie riff this is a doopie riff this is a doopie riff this is a doopie riff this is a doopie riff this is a doopie riff this is a doopie riff it's just too hot in here it's just incredibly hot in here gotta be at least 60 degrees
(c) 2007 Trex