albums
Compilations
2012 Casio Picks
2012 Piano Picks
2012 Acoustic Picks
2012 Electric Picks
2013 Trex Video
Childhood (1974-90)
1977 Firsts
1978 Seconds
1985 Cacappella
1986 Eye Beater
1987 Guitarded
1988 Kim 1
1988 Kim 2
1988 Kim 3
1988 Kim 4
1988 Kim 5
1988 Kim 6
1988 Kim 7
1988 Kim 8
1988 Kim 9
1988 Kim 10
1988 Kim 11
1988 Kim 12
1989 Kim 13
1989 Five Dollar Drummer
1989 Wino Three Girls
1990 A Caustic Gutter
1996-1999
1996 NoVaSoCa
1996 Fullerton
1997 Soundtracks
1997 Walk Around
1997 Riding the Greyhound
1999 I Mowed
1999 Simulameous
1999 Yikes
1999 Piano Farte
2000-2008
2001 Marathon
2001 Days Like These
2001 Alcan Back
2001 Sleepy Sloppy
2001 Dad Day Jam
2002 Unfit
2002 The Key of G
2003 Daffy Day
2003 Januweary
2003 Post-Key
2003 Fatiguitar
2003 Oh No
2005 Waiting
2005 Sun Strike
2006 Stinky Room
2006 Schtupid
2007 Coy Pun
2007 Post-Ides
2007 Post-Ideas
2007 Post-Ideals
2007 Warble
2007 Another Same Day
2007 And Another
2007 Bald Ballads
2007 Lunch Broken
2007 Mayo
2007 Mayon
2007 Mayonandon
2007 Mayoff
2007 Juneo
2007 Juneon
2007 Juneonandon
2007 Two Song Rule
2007 Cavy Fury
2007 Infinity Daze
2007 Fall Start
2007 False Tart
2007 Fall End
2008 New Ear
2008 Decadend

Track List

# title lyrics time download listen started recorded rating
1 Gonna Go Far lyrics 4:43 download listen locally - 2007-04-14
2 Tulip Replay lyrics 4:55 download listen locally - 2007-04-14
3 Eveolution False Start lyrics 1:42 download listen locally - 2007-04-14
4 Eveolution lyrics 5:58 download listen locally - 2007-04-14
5 Cut Your Losses lyrics 0:38 download listen locally - 2007-04-14
6 Eveolution Reprise lyrics 0:21 download listen locally - 2007-04-14
7 Handle lyrics 5:53 download listen locally - 2007-04-14
8 Handle 2 lyrics 2:00 download listen locally - 2007-04-14
9 Handle 3 lyrics 3:11 download listen locally - 2007-04-14
10 Lost Sessions lyrics 6:29 download listen locally - 2007-04-14
11 About the Spree lyrics 8:20 download listen locally - 2007-04-18
12 In the Middle lyrics 9:01 download listen locally - 2007-04-18
13 Turn My Back lyrics 1:42 download listen locally - 2007-04-19
14 Turn My Back 2 lyrics 0:27 download listen locally - 2007-04-19
15 Three Track Intro lyrics 0:32 download listen locally - 2007-04-19
16 Three Track Boos lyrics 4:06 download listen locally - 2007-04-19
17 Bumity Bum lyrics 4:15 download listen locally - 2007-04-19
18 Bumity Chatter lyrics 0:52 download listen locally - 2007-04-19
19 Bumity Bum Junior lyrics 3:55 download listen locally - 2007-04-19
20 Bumity Bum III lyrics 2:56 download listen locally - 2007-04-19
Total 71:56 play all locally album rating:

Notes

More messy jams. Most are painful.

It was being increasingly clear that my philosophy of continuing recording until I found a "good" was flawed, because some days I just never found a good idea, so I ended up wasting a lot of tape on lame stuff.

Some of the lyrics can be witty or at least observational. The music is almost uniformly awful, however.

Songs

Gonna Go Far

Messy, sloppy, and inscrutable in the beginning.

Lyrics to "Gonna Go Far":

if you ain't got acoustic guitar
gonna go far
if you ain't got acoustic guitar
gonna go far

gonna go far

today is the 14th of april
it is hard to find a word that rhymes with april

oh yeah

ok it's almost noon now
gonna go for a jog pretty soon
i hope the weather's gonna be good
'cause i don't wanna be a hosta 
hosta?

i [scat]

let's try it again

and the hour is approaching noon
and i'm gonna go for a jog soon

let's try it again

and the hour's approaching noon
i'm gonna go for a jog soon
i hope the weather is really nice
'cause i don't wanna have to come home in my room

i'm gonna go any time now
??? i will be telling myself for the next hour
here is it almost noon
gotta go for a jog soon

oh it's almost noon
gonna go for a jog soon
what else can i sing
can't think of a thing

i ordered a dictaphone
and some blank tapes from amazon
i hope that trex keeps on going
it keeps on going on

i can use the blank tapes
in the dictaphone or the 4-track
i just wanna get my routine back
i wanna get it back

[scat]

i cannot swing or sing

i cannot swing on guitar
i haven't try on before
i cannot swing on guitar
i can only handle eighth notes

tomorrow we plan to go to the tulips
down in the county to the south
i hope we take the bikes for a long ride
i like to feel exhausted

it's a routine that we do every year
we bike to the tulips
it's about 50 miles
that's a 5 0 not a 1 5

that's a 5 0 not a 1 5
that's a 5 0 not a 1 5

my hand hurts
  

Tulip Replay

This has a long instrumental intro. Kinda muddy and monotonous, though.

The lyrics are about our yearly bike trip to the Tulip Festival in Skagit County.

Lyrics to "Tulip Replay":

ok i think i have room for one more mess on this side

here come the tulips
here come the flowers
gonna get to them by pedal power

hey tulips here we come for you
this is the thing we always do

i'm stricken by a case of deja vu
i'm stricken by ??? too

hey hey hey
replay replay replay

i'm stricken by a case of deja vu
i'm stricken ???

it's ok it's ok it's ok to replay
it's ok it's ok it's ok we'll have a very fine day

all the tulips are waiting for me and you
or maybe they will just be dust orbs and stumps too

ok ok ok
as long as i get to be with you for a day
it's ok to replay to replay to replay to replay

are the tulips waiting for me and you
are there daffodils too
it's ok it's ok it's ok if it's just a replay
it's ok it's ok it's ok if we have tired legs

this is the thing we like to do
this is the thing we like to do

i speak for me; do i speak for you
when i say this is the thing we like to do

is it ok to replay
it's ok

i think that's the end of the side
  

Eveolution False Start

I think I recorded this the same day as the last song(s), because I don't mention the date and my voice sounds a little hoarse. However, I also say that I am recording over some "horrible" music, so maybe this was a new day.

Either way, this is a false start for "Eveolution".

Lyrics to "Eveolution False Start":

i'm recording over this side because it was horrible
all right
first song is called eveolution, e v e olution
i gotta stand up because if i sit down this is gonna suck

first you were an ant
and then you were a spider
then you were a slug
and then you were a moth

then you were a chickadee
and then you were a crow
and then you were a seagull
and then you were an eagle

and then you were a cat
and then you were a dog
and then you were a girl
and then you were a boy  messed up

false start number 1
i jump straight to the punch line like a fool, didn't i?
oh god, like a fool
that's kinda interesting
that's uninteresting
  

Eveolution

The music reminds me of "I Mowed". The lyrics are silly.

Lyrics to "Eveolution":

    
first you were an ant
and then you were a moth
and then you were a spider
and then you were a slug

and then you were a chickadee
and then you were a crow
and then you were a seagull
and then you were an eagle

and then you were a cat
and then you were a dog
and then you were a horse
and then you were a monkey

and then you were a chimp
and then you were a gorilla
and then you were a girl
and then you were a boy

and then you were a man
and now you are a woman
why did you become a woman
after becoming a man
  
when you were in the embryo
when you were an embryo
[sigh]

i had no idea what i'd be saying when i got to this point

but i never got to this point point before
i never got to this point before
i never got to this point before
i never got to this point before 
  [repeat]

first you were an ant
and then you were a slug
and then you were a spider
it's all arbitrary

and so said mary
who had a little lamb
who then became a sheep
and then became a cow

she never got to this point before
and she never got to this point before
and she never got to this point before
and never got to this point before

and never got to this point before
and never got to this point before
and never got to this point before
and never got to this point before

1 2 3 4
way to ruin it travis

and never got to this point before
never got to this point before
and never got to this point before
and never got to this point before

so i had a point
and i wanted to make it a song
and the idea was that on the evolutionary ladder
girls were below boys
and i know that's not very funny
but i had never heard it said like that in a song before
so i wanted to give it a shot
and i did the count-up
and then i got to the point where i was supposed to say something witty
and then the punch line
i messed up
and if you think this is horrid
you should have hear the 22 minutes
it wasn't a 22 minute epic like julian cope's poet is priest
on his jehovahkill reissue
it was a 22 minute pile of poo poo
and my only excuse is i had never gotten to that point before

oh i never got to that point before
i never got to that point before
i never got to the point before
[scat]

yes i'm getting tired
and i've been doing this for over an hour
i am really tired
of doing this all the time

and i have nothing to say
i've been inside all day

and i never got to this point before
and i never got to this point before
and i never got to this point before
and i never got to this point before

and i never got to this point before
and i never got to this point before
i never got to this point before
i never got to this point before
  

Cut Your Losses

Awful. And I don't even take my own advice, because at the end I return to "Eveolution".

Lyrics to "Cut Your Losses":

cut your losses
cut your losses
cut your losses losses losses losses
you loss

god i have dents in my fingers

cut your losses, cut your losses
cut your losses, cut your losses, cut your losses

cut your losses, cut your losses
cut your losses, cut your losses, cut your losses

cut your losses, cut your losses
cut your losses, cut your loss

god i hope i don't have neighbors

cut your losses, cut your losses
cut your losses

first you were an ant
  

Eveolution Reprise

Back to the idea of "Eveolution", not that it was worth revisiting.

Lyrics to "Eveolution Reprise":

first you were an ant
  

Handle

This starts off sounding somewhat tight, but then loses it and gets steadily worse as I got more fatigued.

Lyrics to "Handle":

i better learn to keep it simple and rhythmic
because this is all i can handle
all i can handle
all i can handle
all i can handle

i've got to learn to keep it simple
'cause frankly this is
all i can handle
all i can handle
all i can handle

some people can play real chords
but i only know the power ones, that's
all i can handle
all i can handle

some people know how to strum and pluck
and all the fingerings
but i just do this
it's all i can handle
tripecac is my handle

some people know how to play on guitar
some people do not
i'm one of the latter
i'm one of the sadder

some people have artistic ability
and then there's me
woah is me

some people know when to quit
they put down the tape recorder
and take a walk outside
but i've got my pride

'cause i will not stop recording
until i like a moment
in a recording

or someone comes home
but it's only 1
and noone's supposed to be here for another 5 hours

but that's ok 'cause it's trex today
it's ok to play with trex today

i've probably given myself a blister
and i deserve it

do i ever wish
that i had learned to play the guitar

and do i ever wish i had learned how to sing?
nuh-uh
???
'cause i don't have the stamina

one way to build the stamina is to
play with yourself

another way to build stamina is to practice
and that's what i'm doing

what's the point of recording practice
when it's as bad as this

to be honest i feel like throwing up
'cause it's so hot

to be honest i think i'm getting tired
my fingers are sloppy

maybe if i just stop singing
my ability to play with increase but it never does

what a waste of tape
what a waste of time

i'm beginning to feel, i feel like puking
this is pathetic

sometimes if i take the pod pro
and put on a different voice
i get a new fresh, fresh breeze of inspiration
at least enthusiasm
i'm getting tired of this sound

i'm just plain tired
'cause it seems like an endurance thing
i've been playing for an hour and 15 minutes straight

and this is being recorded in stereo which is a total joke

my fingers are just not hitting the notes anymore, are they?
i'm losing my voice
  

Handle 2

This is a continuation of "Handle", but with a different preset. It doesn't really return to the original lyrics.

Lyrics to "Handle 2":

let's try a different preset
cross your fingers
is this the one that revitalizes this effort
we'll find out very soon
if it doesn't i will stop

some people

i don't think this is gonna revitalize the effort, do you?
it sounds like mud

and the funny thing is
this riff was supposed to be better than the last one
more sustainable
it ain't

some people think that changing the settings on your pod pro
will give you new inspiration

some people think playing the guitar is easy
well i agree

it's actually easy to make noise
like me

the hard part is making something
that sounds catchy

especially when you're as exhausted
as me
as me
'cause i'm exhausted
i'm exhausted

god it sounds so muffled
what the heck is wrong with the way this sounds
it sounds horrible
  

Handle 3

The third preset gave me new energy. Unfortunately, it required me to jump around, and that made me nervous about falling through the floor.

Lyrics to "Handle 3":

i don't want the fake reverb
i just want something good
good, man

i am so exhausted
so exhausted
so exhausted
so exhausted

i'll record over

maybe if i had done a sound like this in the beginning
and sustained it

so is it true that your pod pro
can give your energy back
you energy back

you know i feel like the floor is gonna cave in
one of these days

i better not dance in here
'cause i don't want to end up in the garage

i hope i do not fall through the floor
that would suck

it's hard to play really fast
unless i dance a little bit in here

so you've got to humor me
if i fall through the floor
if i fall through the floor

will you rescue me
as i lie on the pool table covered in computer parts

will you rescue me
with my broken neck and broken parts and all that stuff

will you remember
to unplug the computers before you try to extract my head from the monitor

i don't wanna fall
i don't wanna fall
i don't wanna fall
i don't wanna fall

i don't wanna  fall
through the floor
i don't wanna fall
through the floor

i don't wanna fall
i don't wanna fall
i don't wanna fall
i don't wanna fall
through the floor
through the floor

i can't sing can i?
or play
it's so hot in here
it's so hot today

i don't wanna fall
i don't wanna fall
i don't wanna fall
  

Lost Sessions

Making fun of stoner rock. Gets better toward the end. I think I called it a day afterward.

Lyrics to "Lost Sessions":

this is horrid
this would be stuff like on the b-side 
of the re-release of some horrible, horrible band
the lost sessions
i'm not implying that led zeppelin sucks per se
these are the lost led zeppelin sessions
the stuff that didn't quite make it onto those albums
that all those wanna-be hippies
claim are the best creations in the universe

hey babe
why does this suck ???
hey man why does this ???

we are led zeppelin and we are so stoned
when we try to play like this
it sounds like poo poo
it sounds like poo poo

we are led zeppelin and we are so stoned
we just recorded an album 
but we forget it
but we forget it

we are led zeppelin and we are so dumb
we are hiding
i don't know what to say

this is not really led zeppelin
this is not really led zeppelin
no way

this is just the last tatters of energy
this is my last tatters of energy

this is what exhaustion sounds like
i should be out jogging or riding my bike

how many calories am i burning per chord
i don't want to calculate them ???

'cause there's a such thing as a fat guitarist
[scat]

this is what exhaustion sounds like
this is what exhaustion sounds like
this is what exhaustion sounds like
this is what exhaustion sounds like
  [repeat]
  
do you ever wonder what exhaustion sounds like

this is what exhaustion sounds like
this is what exhaustion sounds like
this is what exhaustion sounds like
this is what exhaustion sounds like
  [repeat]
  

About the Spree

This was about the recent Va Tech shooting spree. Lots of false starts. However, unlike most of the recent songs, this one actually improves towards the end.

Lyrics to "About the Spree":

all right this is a song
recorded on the 18th of april 2007

not another song about the spree

didn't work, did it?

not another song about the spree
not another song about me

there we go

not another song about the spree
you'd rather hear me singing about me

not another song making fun
of people playing with guns

not another song about the spree
you'd rather hear about me singing about me
singing about me singing about me

not another song about the fun
everybody's on the run

not another song about the spree

that didn't work did it
really didn't work

not another song about the spree

yuck

not another article about the spree
isn't there something positive going on at some other university
why is everyone fixated on tragedy
what about accomplishment, i say

not another article about the spree
not another web site about the spree
enough about the spree
i've heard enough about the spree

not another song about the spree
why is the spree following me
i am spreed out
get the spree out

not another web site about the spree
hey spree, yeah, keep, ah shoot i messed up
let's try it again

hey spree, yeah
hey spree, stop spamming me
hey spree, stop spamming me
i've had enough, enough enough enough about the spree

i've had enough about the spree
don't care about that university 

ok it's sad that they posted pictures

but come on, stop hogging the top spot on google news
come on, i wanna read about cpus
oh come on, even a little bit of spousal abuse
is more interesting to me than the spree
oh stop singing about the stupid spree
 
hey spree, yeah, stop spamming me
hey spree, yeah, stop spamming me

i'm tired of hearing about the spree
hey spree, yeah, stop spamming me

i'm getting so tired about the spree
hey spree, stop spamming me

stop spamming me
stop spamming me
stop spamming me
stop spamming me
  [repeat]
  

In the Middle

The intro says this was recorded on the same day, which was the 18th. So the mention of the first day being the 18th was wrong (hence the "I screwed up"); it should actually have been the 16th (which was a Monday), which would indeed make this recording the 18th.

The music starts rough, but gradually gets catchier, though cruder. And it's about the same subject: the spree.

Lyrics to "In the Middle":

all right, this is my more sensitive song
same day

so we're in the middle
oh nice
so we're in the middle
so we're in the middle

i'm a jam band

so we're in the middle

so we're in the middle
of 2 famous days

some time in april
that's 18th and the 20th
so we're in the
screwed up
what's new
let's try it
take 2

so we're in the middle
of 2 famous days
one day was monday
and the other day is hitler's birthday

so we're in the middle
of 2 famous sprees
one happened in colorado
and the other happened in hicksville
[scat]

so we're in the middle
a media barrage
frankly i'm bored
do i sound like i'm playing in a garage

but that's not quite true
i'm actually in the little studio
that's above the garage

so i'm in the middle
between the roof and the floor
i don't know what i'm saying
anymore

so i'm in the middle
between the clouds and the ground
[scat]

so we're in the middle
of 2 famous days
the 16th and the 20th of april

so we're in the middle
what is it with this month
why do people have to turn to
ka-pow ka-pow ka-pow ka-pow

so we're in the middle
of 2 famous people
or actually 3
if you count the guys at the colorado place

see i'm not gonna say the same of that school
because goo-google will just
be a magnet
to people

so we're in the middle
of 2 famous days
in my opinion are very dumb days

so we're in the middle
of lots of losers
and the media is focused on losers

in the middle
i'm frankly glad
that i'm a hermit
so when i get mad

i just break my stuff
and throw it around
you don't see me running around
with a weapon in my hand

because i'm a hermit
and i have no need
to unleash any fury
at the people around me

but we're in the middle
of lots of less intelligent
people who feel compelled
to make their presence felt

they just want attention
that is my theory
and some people have only
gotten attention by being gross and perverts

poo poo poo poo poo poo poo
caca caca

people sometime get attention
by simply being shocking
they say something really crude
and everybody just says oh my god that's wrong

and the people just keep on doing it
they talk about bodily functions
like this

poo poo caca, poo poo caca, poo poo caca, poo poo caca
diarrhea dripping down your head
blaa blaa blaa blaa wish i was dead

i'm an insane individual so i talk about
bodily functions
like the boogers in my mouth

poo poo caca, poo poo caca
diarrhea oh baby
aren't i funny
gimme attention
gimme a gun

poo poo caca, poo poo caca
diarrhea dripping down my forehead like sweat
gimme attention
or gimme a gun

poo poo caca, poo poo caca
toilet humor abounds in my reportoir
'cause that's the only thing i know how to do
now gimme a gun

poo poo caca, poo poo caca, poo poo caca
eat the diarrhea blaa blaa blaa

i have no other talents
other than making people smirk
at my disgusting sense of quote humor unquote
yes, i'm a jerk

poo poo caca, poo poo caca, poo poo poo caca
diarrhea is in my head
and some day i will just take everybody with me

poo poo caca, poo poo caca, poo poo caca
bang bang you are dead
now you have to pay attention to me

poo poo caca, poo poo caca
toilet humor and diarrhea dripping down my forehead
poo poo caca, poo poo caca
poo poo caca, poo poo caca
poo poo

bang bang bang bang
siren siren siren
attention attention attention attention
i'm getting my attention
yes a little bit uncomfortable
but i'm getting my attention
this is the way i know how to get it
just shock people, shock shock shock
shot, shot shot shot
shock people, shock shock shock, shock shock shock

bang bang, i'm dead, i'm dead, i'm dead

and now i'm going up to heaven
and i say hey god i don't really believe in you
but lemme tell you a joke
what do you get when you mix
loserdom and clowndom

and god says
i don't know that one
i thought i was omniscient
i thought i knew everything

well, god
you get
1 2 3 4

poo poo caca, poo poo caca
floating on the clouds
and god says you are sick
you're going down now, going down now

poo poo caca, poo poo caca, poo poo poo poo caca
poo poo caca, poo poo caca

that's enough of this now
because i know i've worn out my welcome
  

Turn My Back

I had bought a new dictaphone for Trex, since my old one had died. I was thinking about switching from the 4-track back to dictaphone, and decided to record a couple tests to see if there was a significant difference in quality.

Lyrics to "Turn My Back":

all right 19 april
1 2 3

got a tape recorder or a dictaphone
gonna turn my back on the 4-track
on the 4-track, on the 4-track
and i'm going back to the dictaphone
to the dictaphone, ??? on the phone
??? on the phone, ??? on the phone

???

on the 4 track
???
the dictaphone now

dictaphone now
dictaphone now
dictaphone now
dictaphone now

on the 4-track
on the 4-track
on the 4-track
on the 4-track

part 2 will be on the 4-track

that's it
part 2's coming up

in fact i will start part 2 right now

i ??? recording

part 2 is on the
i'm gonna do that last
part 2 is gonna be on the dictaphone
on the dictaphone
the new recorder
  

Turn My Back 2

This is the dictaphone's version of "Turn My Back".

Lyrics to "Turn My Back 2":

all right
this is a crappy dictaphone
by crappy i mean super crappy
i mean this thing is crappy crappy

it's 19th of april 2007
this is a test

i'm on the dictaphone
i'm on the dictaphone
how does it sound
tell me how does it sound
  

Three Track Intro

This introduces the idea of recording with the 4-track and dictaphone simultaneously.

Lyrics to "Three Track Intro":

all right, seriously, i need to do better
you know i think i have an interesting idea for a test
i'm gonna put in one tape in the dictaphone, one in the 4-track
i'm gonna record both at once
same quality tape, duration, everything, all right
the difference is one is the dictaphone
this is called explanation for the 6 track
is this a stereo recorder
i don't think it's stereo
i think it's mono
it's actually 3 track recording
because i've got recording in stereo
today's the 19th of april
  

Three Track Boos

The slight echo comes from the fact that the dictaphone recorded at a different speed from the 4-track so I had to speed-adjust, but didn't get them lined up perfectly. I ended up liking the echo, since it sounds more live.

Lyrics to "Three Track Boos":

today's the 19th of april 2007
stop playing
i've got jodie on the guitar
and i'm recording in 3 tracks
2 on the 4-track
and 1 track on the dictaphone, a brand new dictaphone
got jodie on the guitar and downie on the vocals

this is called the 3 track garage band extravaganza
it's called 3 track blues

i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track
i want my money back
'cause this 3-track

it sounds like really bad
bad cacky cack
it sounds like tripecac
it sounds like cacky cack

i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track

i want my money back
i want my money back
i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track 

i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track

all right
that was me demoing
and now we're gonna have downie
stepping up to the mic
all right
this is the full version
the real version
debut version
of 3-track boos
b o o s

1 2 

i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track
we want our money back

my name is downie
my name is downie
i never frownie
i ride my bikie

i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track
we want our money back

my name is downie
i never frownie
i love my bikie
i'm not a d---ie

[scat]

all right now
our 3rd and final vocalist
if she can handle it
she's gonna play guitar
and voc and vocalize at the same time
that's right everybody
play her broom like a slide on the guitar
here we have jodie singing the vocals

how ya doin? how ya doin?
how ya doin? how ya doin?
how ya doin? how ya doin?
how ya doin? how ya doin?

i'm on the 3-track
i want my money back  
i like to sweep and sweep
i never never weep

my name is jodie
i love the roadie
but it's full of leavies
so i can sweepie

i'm on the 3-track
i'm on the 3-track
i love my downie
she has a bikie

i love my broomie
i love my broomie
i don't need to
be a d---ie

now everybody sing along

we on the 3-track
we on the 3-track
we want our money back
we love our broomie

we love our downie
we love our jodie
we on the 3-track
we on the 3-track

we on the 3-track
we on the 3-track

that's was called 3-track boos
b o o s
speaking of boos
i've gotta turn off one of these tape recorders
  

Bumity Bum

This starts a series of songs about bums. Lots of tape hiss for some reason.

Lyrics to "Bumity Bum":

got a swirling ham
got a baseball cap
wanna grow a goatee

got a handgun
well a bb gun
well a squirt gun
and a receipt

i wanna be
just like the others, see
i don't wanna stand out
confirmity is good 

and i wanna be accepted
and my dream
is to be popular 
with the masses

i was an unpopular kid
now i'm a loser adult
i am fat and i'm ugly

i live under the bridge
and i never have shaved
no, i hardly ever act my age

and i'm always hoping that someday
someone will rescue me
someone will be my angel, guardian angel

and then meanwhile
i'll continue living under the bridge
continue living under the bridge
in my beard and baseball cap and fake goatee

that's right
i have a beard but i'm trying to grow a goatee
makes no sense but then my mind is feeble
too much drugs for me

oh one day i hope to move into a tent
maybe the one in the swamp
can be aired out this summer
if it doesn't get stolen by another bum

i say stolen 'cause i never steal i just borrow
borrow from dumpsters that i find
unless kj beats me to them

that's right, i said kj
she lives with me under the bridge
i said kj, her beard is almost thick as mine
and she is also trying to grow a goatee
but what am i talking about

i think i did too many drugs
i think i've forgot so much
do women have beards
or is kj just a figment of my lsd imagination
  

Bumity Chatter

Chatting and chanting about bums. Officially a not a song.

Lyrics to "Bumity Chatter":

that's my song
it's entitled the ballad of the bum under the bridge
no, it's called the ballad of the nearly bald bum under the bridge
reminiscing about days with kj that never existed
no seriously it's called the ballad of the bumity bum
bumity bum
it's called bumity bum
b u m i t y b u m or something like that
bumity bum, bumity bum, bumity bum, bumity bum, bumity bum
bumity bum, bumity bum
this is bumity bum part 2
bumity bum, bumity bum, bumity bum
no, that's not even a song because it stunk
i have the luxury of being able to declare things non-entities
because i'm the god of my own music
  

Bumity Bum Junior

Back to the bums.

Lyrics to "Bumity Bum Junior":

musicians are god
musicians are god
musicians

yeah
i'm starting to run out of ideas
can't you hear

musicians are god
musicians are god
musicians
musicians are god

if i pass beyond the sidewalk
then you will never know me
until you come into the racoony palace

that's where i go with the cats under the deck
i eat catfood 3 times or 4 times a week
bumity bum was my father
i am only 12
live with the cats under the deck with the cats

before he died
he taught me to smoke
he taught me to steal from the cats and racoons

bumity bum was my father
we lived under the bridge together

some say that kj was my mother
but we'll never know who my real mother was

because my dad found me in a plastic bag 
under the bridge, under the bridge
my dad found me in a plastic bag 
under the bridge, under the bridge

and he says i'm 12 but i think i'm really 30
he says i'm 12 but i think i'm rather dirty

and besides dad's dead
he died between the last song and this one
he died, he died
or maybe he just went to the toilet for too long
but i gave up on him because i have

low attention span
low attention span
i'm an empty he-man
low attention span

bumity bum was not a good father
and kj had straw hair
my dad didn't teach me how to steal from the cats efficienty
i've got scratched too many times
my eyes are always in bloody bloody bloody tatters
from the cats who steal my food
i call them rude but they don't care
they have no feelings
neither do the people who just bike by me

that was called the ballad of bumity bum junior
  

Bumity Bum III

Last song about bums.

Lyrics to "Bumity Bum III":

now the final song for today is the ballad of bumity bum the 3rd
this is definitely the least interesting
because bumity bum the 3rd didn't live very long
this isn't even told in 1st person
it's told in, it's told in 2nd person
bumity bum the 3rd
the ballad of bumity bum the 3rd

you're just a baby 
and i'm only 13 years old
you're just a baby 
and you're mother's a kitty cat

i don't like you 
so i'll throw you in the bay
i don't like you 
so i'll make you go away
oh go away

your mother was a cat
and i'm a raccoon
i'm throwing you in the bay
so i don't have to share my spoon

your mother was a furball
bye bye baby
drowning baby, you're drowning baby
bumity bum the 3

i'm a raccoon
with one spoon
bye bye baby
drowning baby
why do you keep floating

maybe a cormorant
or maybe a seal
will end the agony

drown my baby, drown my baby
drown my baby for me

bumity bumity bumity bumity bum
  [scat]
  
this is the last verse
i had to throw a rock at the bag
oh the rock missed but the police saw me doing it
and arrested me just like they did my dad

the child of a cat and a raccoon
didn't wanna share my precious spoon
so i drowned the baby
and this is a dumb story

bye bye bye bye baby bye bye