albums
Compilations
2012 Casio Picks
2012 Piano Picks
2012 Acoustic Picks
2012 Electric Picks
2013 Trex Video
Childhood (1974-90)
1977 Firsts
1978 Seconds
1985 Cacappella
1986 Eye Beater
1987 Guitarded
1988 Kim 1
1988 Kim 2
1988 Kim 3
1988 Kim 4
1988 Kim 5
1988 Kim 6
1988 Kim 7
1988 Kim 8
1988 Kim 9
1988 Kim 10
1988 Kim 11
1988 Kim 12
1989 Kim 13
1989 Five Dollar Drummer
1989 Wino Three Girls
1990 A Caustic Gutter
1996-1999
1996 NoVaSoCa
1996 Fullerton
1997 Soundtracks
1997 Walk Around
1997 Riding the Greyhound
1999 I Mowed
1999 Simulameous
1999 Yikes
1999 Piano Farte
2000-2008
2001 Marathon
2001 Days Like These
2001 Alcan Back
2001 Sleepy Sloppy
2001 Dad Day Jam
2002 Unfit
2002 The Key of G
2003 Daffy Day
2003 Januweary
2003 Post-Key
2003 Fatiguitar
2003 Oh No
2005 Waiting
2005 Sun Strike
2006 Stinky Room
2006 Schtupid
2007 Coy Pun
2007 Post-Ides
2007 Post-Ideas
2007 Post-Ideals
2007 Warble
2007 Another Same Day
2007 And Another
2007 Bald Ballads
2007 Lunch Broken
2007 Mayo
2007 Mayon
2007 Mayonandon
2007 Mayoff
2007 Juneo
2007 Juneon
2007 Juneonandon
2007 Two Song Rule
2007 Cavy Fury
2007 Infinity Daze
2007 Fall Start
2007 False Tart
2007 Fall End
2008 New Ear
2008 Decadend

Track List

# title lyrics time download listen started recorded rating
1 Pleasure Intro lyrics 0:33 download listen locally - 1988-01-14
2 Pleasure Trip lyrics 7:29 download listen locally - 1988-01-14
3 Spider lyrics 0:33 download listen locally - 1988-01-14
4 No Utopia lyrics 6:48 download listen locally - 1988-01-14
5 Old Scat-Trav Intro lyrics 0:11 download listen locally - 1988-01-14
6 Life Is Precious lyrics 3:09 download listen locally - 1987-01-07
7 African Music lyrics 1:42 download listen locally - 1987-01-07
8 Rapid Reggae - 1:43 download listen locally - 1987-01-07
9 Awful Old Stuff - 0:20 download listen locally - 198?-??-??
10 Comet Tail - 2:40 download listen locally - 1987-01-07
11 Comet Comment lyrics 0:24 download listen locally - 1988-01-14
12 Comet Tale - 6:00 download listen locally - 1988-01-14
13 Kim 2 Outro lyrics 0:15 download listen locally - 1988-01-14
14 Hunger Intro lyrics 0:55 download listen locally - 1988-01-18
15 Land of Hunger (2) lyrics 5:29 download listen locally 1982-??-?? 1988-01-18
16 Boastin' False Start lyrics 1:47 download listen locally - 1988-01-18
17 Guy in the Middle lyrics 8:45 download listen locally - 1988-01-18
18 Play in the Rain lyrics 3:38 download listen locally 1988-01-14 1988-01-18
19 Fan Chatter lyrics 0:28 download listen locally - 1988-01-18
20 Exam Dream lyrics 11:21 download listen locally - 1988-01-19
21 Will You Believe lyrics 5:10 download listen locally - 1988-01-19
22 Scat-Trav Chatter lyrics 0:57 download listen locally - 1988-01-19
23 The Math Exam lyrics 3:57 download listen locally - 1988-01-20
24 Mixer Chatter lyrics 0:43 download listen locally - 1988-01-20
25 The Math Exam (poem) lyrics 2:21 download listen locally - 1988-01-20
26 No Star Chatter lyrics 0:23 download listen locally - 1988-01-20
Total 77:41 play all locally album rating:

Notes

This is the third batch of songs for my cousin Kim. It introduces "Scat-Trav", which is what I called my sped-up recordings. There are some "normal" songs in there as well.

Songs

Pleasure Intro

Kinda funny.

Lyrics to "Pleasure Intro":

this is the next day
the time is 7:13pm
write that down
no, i'm gonna write it down
7:13pm january the 14th 1988
and i wrote this in school after a math test
and i'll call it pleasure trip
no one helped me write it
i tried to get allen to help me write another one in band
because it's the first class of the day
it's a very boring class
so i tried to get him to help me write something in there
but we had to work
yes, that's right, we actually worked in band
it's a tough life
ok this one is called pleasure trip
  

Pleasure Trip

According to my notes, I wrote this in school and recorded it at 7:13pm. It's about a vacation in South Africa, and was probably inspired by the song I recorded the night before ("Stand Up South Africa").

Lyrics to "Pleasure Trip":

after seven months of living a south african life
dad says "a trip around the country sure would be nice"

so we pack our car so we
so we pack our car so we
so we pack our car so full it hardly shuts
last night's storm left the driveway full of ruts

repairing it caused a few hours of delay
i began to think we'd never leave that day

but finally we began our month-long vacation
to drive through a country in need of liberation
we pass some natives banging on some congo drums
the conditions here are worse than in the new york city slums

the first stop's in natal; durban's the city's name
a few days with some friends and off we go again
to knysna we go next; it's the little town on the shore
we stay and camp a week or so and then we drive some more

one of my favorites - the famous cango caves
i really enjoyed wandering this underground maze
then out of the darkness, back into the light
the day is growing weary close becomes the night
close becomes the night

under starry moonlit skies we drive along our course
in grahamstown we stay a while in rendevals beside the forest
the next place on our visit is cape town
we get out of the car, have a look around

i see table mountain
i see table mountain we decide to go to the top
i see table mountain and in the cable car our ears begin to pop

there's a store up here so we can stop and eat
the view is so great, the air is so sweet
we stay up there for little more than an hour
take some pictures of the mountains and the flowers

we return to town and wander through the streets
then we head down south, some friends to meet
and upon the cape, the heavy winds do blow
we look around a bit and then we have to go

we travel for a few more days in the car
we think of all the places we have been so far
kimberly diamond mine is our next stop
it's a great big hold in the ground, a mighty drop

i find a little rock in a pile of white stone
i pretend it's a diamond and call it my own
another day, another day, another day left

another day we go to a little town to matjesfontein
it's the smallest town in this empire of pain
another day and we're home again to stay
i wish we could go
wish we could go back some other day
hey hey hey hey

another day and we're home again to stay
i wish we could go back some other day
south africa
country in
country in
country in pain
  

Spider

I labeled this "Poem - real dumb". Yup.

I recorded it at 7:39 pm

Lyrics to "Spider":

imagine a spider with a belly full of eggs
crawling on top of you from under your bed
with one of his legs he touches the tip of your nose
and as you inhale up your nostril he goes
  

No Utopia

This is mostly one long solo. It's okay.

I recorded this at 7:40pm.

Lyrics to "No Utopia":

i tell you every share of problems go to the country
each get an equal share
but some have a bigger share than others do
some have a bigger share

there is no such thing as a perfect nation
and america has its share of problems too
every country's got its problems
but some have a bigger share than the others do

and that's all the lyrics, i tell ya
  

Old Scat-Trav Intro

Introducing some old "Scat-Trav" recordings.

Lyrics to "Old Scat-Trav Intro":

these are old songs i recorded on january 7th 1987
i just found them and they're pretty interesting and they're different
and they're a change of pace i guess
you'll probably like 'em
  

Life Is Precious

Wow! Chipmunks! Pretty funny and catchy.

This song (and the next few) are pretty ancient.

Lyrics to "Life Is Precious":

  [scat]

after dark and afternoon
their lies on the street gloomy mood
nobody can scare it away
it just stays there until you pay

your life, your life is precious to you, just keep it
your life is precious to you, just keep it

after dark and afternoon
their lies on the street gloomy mood
nobody can scare it away
it just stays there until you pay

your life, your life is precious to you, just keep it
your life, your life is precious to you, just keep it

we got a time, we got a place
now all we got to do is see your face
now pull out your knife to save your life
knife life life life

your life, your life is precious to you, just keep it
your life, your life is precious to you, just keep it

after dark and afternoon
their lies on the street gloomy mood
nobody can scare it away
it just stays there until you pay

your life, your life is precious to you, just keep it
your life, your life is precious to you, just keep it

we got a time, we got the place
now all we got to do is see your face
you pull out your knife to save your life

wait a minute
to save your life
that means
that means

your life, your life is precious to you, just keep it
your life is precious to you, just keep it

  [scat]

your life, your life is precious to you, just keep it
your life, your life is precious to you, just keep it

  [scat]

i'm done
  

African Music

Doesn't sound very African to me. It's mostly scat.

Lyrics to "African Music":

  [scat]

african music
african music

african music, african, it's african
it's african music, african

african music, it's african, it's african
it's african music, it's african, it's african

african music, african, that's what you call it
africa music, it's african, that's what you call it
  

Rapid Reggae

This is very repetitive, and kinda dumb.

Awful Old Stuff

This is an excerpt from what was on the tape before I recorded over it. This is the best 20 seconds. The rest (several minutes worth) was all horribly boring.

My note to Kim said "No Coordination Present". My guess for the date was 1986 or 1987.

Comet Tail

This was an experiment in weird chords. It's okay.

My best guess for the date was "around Jan 7 1987".

Comet Comment

Talking about the two Comet songs.

Lyrics to "Comet Comment":

that was comet tail 1
it was beast feast
and i recorded it a long time ago
this next one is comet tail 2 or the comet tale
comet tail 1 is spelled c o m e t   t a i l  1
like the tail of a comet
but comet tail 2 is spelled c o m e t   t a i l  2
or comet tale as in story
this hopefully is a better version
i have no idea because i haven't made it up yet
  

Comet Tale

This is my year-later sequel to "Comet Tail". It's slightly more melodic. Sloppy, though.

Kim 2 Outro

Finally, I'm done!

Lyrics to "Kim 2 Outro":

ok i've got to go
and i'll keep on writing songs
there's got to be some in there that was ok
if none were good then i have an excuse saying most of them are old
and if all of them are good then i don't need an excuse
i'll just say that i'm just as good now as i was then
  

Hunger Intro

This is a funny intro to the re-recording of my (ahem) "classic" "Land of Hunger".

Lyrics to "Hunger Intro":

you know what is frustrating
jessica gets more phone calls
and she's on the phone longer than anyone else combined
and doubled and multiplied by 14
yes
i made that little thingamajig up

ok this is a song
and i've been dying to find
i know it's on some of my old tapes
and that's the reason i was listening to that old stuff
this is old
i think it's 1982
it is when i was in huntsville alabama
yeah it's 1982 or 1981
ok that's when this was written
and what ??? depresses me is it's because it's pretty good
if it's good and the music now i think is good
then i haven't improved that much
but this i didn't have any music toward it
it was just like i have this really pooey
i can only say pooey because everybody will listen to this
a pooey copy of it
and this one is called land of hunger
and i know everyone in my family has been dying to hear it
because it's a long lost treasure
right after this one i wrote gook-gook, which is

  gook gook, i got ants in my pants
  gook gook, oh it's such a romance
  gook gook, how i love to dance
  gook gook, gook gook

real short song
so this was old because it's immature
but this is the first one that i actually thought
about the lyrics when i wrote it ok
it's the first real song i guess
here we go
  

Land of Hunger (2)

This is a musical remake of "Land of Hunger", which was first written around 1982.

From my note to Kim:

My voice cracks in the middle of it, so I start talking.

The spoken ad-lib ended up being one of my favorite parts! Thank god for puberty. :)

I like the energy on this track. Some of the singing is kinda lucky, too.

Lyrics to "Land of Hunger (2)":

every day's a fun day
every day's a friday
every day's a funday
every day's a nice day

'cause 'cause
because 'cause
just 'cause
'cause
'cause

it's a day where people
they walk through the streets at midnight
they see things in their shadows
on a scary afternoon

they know that they're disgraceful
and we know that's their sorrow
we know that that is scary
that there's no place to go

singing, oh-ho
comin' from a land of hunger
oh-ho
where's there's no time to play with others
  [scat]

we're coming from the land of hunger
we find no rules to play by
there are no friends to play with
comin' from the land of hunger

we're comin' from the land of sorrow
we're comin' from the land of hunger
comin' from the land where the hopeless reside

soon will come their death
they're soon to disappear
and we know that's their sorrow
'cause they don't know that we're near

we're coming from the land of hunger
we find no rules to play by
there are no friends to play with
comin' from the land of hunger

every day's a fun day
every day's a friday
every day's a funday
every day's a nice day

because
'cause 'cause
'cause 'cause
'cause 'cause

because
it's a day where people
they walk through the streets at midnight
they see things in their shadows
on a scary afternoon

they know that it's disgraceful
and we know that's their sorrow
we know that that is scary
that there's no place to go

singing, oh-ho
we're comin' from the land of hunger
we're comin' where's there's no time to play with others
  [scat]

we're coming from the land of hunger
we find no rules to play by
there are no friends to play with
comin' from the land of hunger
hunger

causing your ears some pain, am i?

land of hunger
land of sorrow
land of hopeless

the land of hunger
the land of sorrow
the land of hopeless
where they resise

they're soon to disappear
and we know that's their sorrow
'cause they don't know we're near
they won't be here tomorrow
won't be here tomorrow
no place to go
they have no ???

mama, when are we gonna get out of this country?

i don't know, son
some day someone will take out out
and we will no longer be set up in cages
as experiments for the rich and the blind and poor
the poor of soul not poor of cash
the poor of heart not poor at money
the rich in heart will save the day
we will make the, the wealthy pay
land of hunger

thank you mama
thank you a lot mama
thanks for telling me that song
  

Boastin' False Start

This was a false start to "Guy in the Middle". I got pretty far along before I decided to start over.

Lyrics to "Boastin' False Start":

i want you to hear de riddem
and i want you to feel the beat
i want you to pick up your body
and i want you to move de feet

because the reggae rule and the reggae rock
and the reggae cool all around the block
reggae, reggae, reggae, oh no music like the reggae
singing reggae, reggae, reggae, oh no music like the reggae

we be the rastaman, the iyaman
some folks call us the higherman
be the rastaman, the iyaman
some folks call us the higherman

be the reggae, the reggae stars
rastafarian big stars

reggae mon
we boastin' reggae
boastin' reggae
boastin' our heritage
reggae
jamaica boarders

we be the rastaman
we boastin' reggae mon
walking down the street
finding people to meet mon

reggae
  

Guy in the Middle

This epic reggae rap has "yikes" written all over it. My fake Jamaican accent was horrible! I admire my persistence, however. :)

My notes to Kim say:

I think you'll like it if you can understand the lyrics.

The lyrics are kinda insightful (when you get beyond the accent). They're about the malaise of mediocrity, trying to find a skill to make yourself stand out. The "character" in the song was a reggae star whose only skill was music. When he was performing, he got respect, but outside of the context of music, he was a nobody.

Is this autobiographical? Not really. I'm sure I had teenage dreams of meta-stardom (I wrote stories about it at the time), but I never actually believed that my music would make me "cool".

For me, making music has always been something I do for fun. It's childish. Like playing games. Or watching TV. A nice benefit is that I can re-experience my "fun" later (since I record most of what I play).

Who cares about being "cool" when you're having fun? And how can you have fun when you're concerned with being cool? Coolness is in the eyes of the beholders, anyway. And I don't really care about other people's perceptions of me. As you can probably tell by now. What matters is that I am happy with how I spend my time.

Lyrics to "Guy in the Middle":

i want you to hear de riddem
and i want you to feel the beat
i want you to pick up your body
and i want you to move your feet

because the reggae rule and the reggae rock
and the reggae cool all around the block
singing reggae, reggae, oh no music like the reggae
the reggae, reggae, no music like the reggae

we be the rastaman
we boastin' reggae
walking down the street
finding people to meet

we be the rastaman
we be the iyaman
we be the
some folks call us the higher man

girl, i wish i could know you
to walk with you as a friend
for you to cling to in times of pain
but all i am is just another guy
caught up in a silly life sort of like a game

i boast no sophistication
but no ultimate retardation
i'm just a guy in the middle
cannot solve this riddle

reggae
reggae all that's cool about me
reggae all that's cool about me

who is it that said "what you see is what you get"?
when has that proved true yet, proved true yet?

when you first see me you think i'm cool
but then when you get to know me you find i'm a fool

i'm just in between
reggae mon makes me cool
other than that i'm less than cool
other than that i'm less than cool
other than that i'm only a fool

reggae makes me cool
boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle
we're boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle

i fit in, that's all i do
i have no way to impress you
i'm just another guy stranded in the hall
not very cool at all

oh yeah
i might be fun and yeah
i might have money oh yeah
but for wits, i'm the pits
i've never had a honey
never had

boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle
we boastin' reggae mon, a guy in the middle
boastin' reggae mon, a guy in the middle

reggae makes make cool, other than that i'm a fool
reggae makes make cool, other than that i'm a fool
reggae makes make cool, other than that i'm a fool

i'm just an average guy
that's all i am, that's all i am
nothing boasted, nothing have i been

i'm a guy in the middle
cannot solve this riddle
reggae makes me cool

i'm a guy in the middle
cannot solve this riddle
other than that i'm a fool

someday someone will see something in me
i have no idea right now what that will be

reggae mon, boastin' reggae mon, makes me cool
reggae mon, makes me cool

we be the rastaman and the iyaman
if you want you can call us the higher man
be the rastaman or the iyaman
the higher man

reggae makes me cool
i'm a guy in the middle
boastin' reggae and it makes me cool
in the middle
boastin' reggae and it makes me
guy in the middle
cannot solve this riddle

reggae makes me cool
reggae makes me cool
reggae makes me cool

i'm a reggae mon, i'm a rastaman
iyaman, a higher man
i'm a reggae mon, i'm a rastaman
iyaman, higher man

boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle
cannot solve this riddle

boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle
we boastin' reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle

someday someone will see something impressive in me
[i] have no idea now what that, that gift will be

be a reggae mon, guy in the middle
reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle
reggae mon, a guy in the middle
reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle

singing reggae
reggae
boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle
reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle
reggae mon, guy in the middle
even reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle

singing kick it up
kick it up
kick it up to speed

singing girl, i wish i could know you
to walk with you as a friend
for you to cling onto in times of pain, times of pain
but all i am is just another guy
??? silly life's little games
silly life's little games
silly life's little games
silly life

boast no sophistication
boast no ultimate retardation

boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle
boastin' reggae mon
boastin' reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle
boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle
even reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle

call me rastaman, iyaman
or the reggae mon, the higher man
call me rastaman, iyaman
the reggae mon, the higher man

who said what do you see
what do you get
what you see i mean is what you get

when you first see me you think i'm cool
but when you get to know me you find that i'm a fool

i'm in between

boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle, boastin'
boastin' reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle
boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle
boastin' reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle

i fit in, that's all i do
have no way, no way to impress you
i'm just another guy, stranded in the hall
not very cool at all

oh yeah i might be fun
and oh yeah i might have money
but for wits, i'm the pits
never had a honey

reggae mon, be a rastaman
an iyaman, the higher man
boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle
boastin' reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle
boastin' reggae mon, i'm a guy in the middle
boastin' reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle

boastin' reggae mon

i want you to hear de riddem
and i want you to feel the beat
i want you to pick up your body
and i want you to move your feet

because the reggae rule and the reggae rock
and the reggae cool
and the reggae, reggae rock all around the clock

reggae, reggae
oh no music like the reggae, reggae
oh no music like the reggae, reggae
oh no music like the reggae

be the rastaman, the iyaman
some folks call us the higher man

reggae
reggae mon
boastin' reggae mon, i'm a guy in the middle
boastin' reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle
boastin' reggae mon, guy in the middle
boastin' reggae mon, cannot solve this riddle
boastin' reggae
reggae
reggae
  

Play in the Rain

No wonder I moved to the Pacific Northwest!

The music is very simple. The vocals are repetitive but kinda catchy.

Lyrics to "Play in the Rain":

we are kicked outside, have no place to go
so we play in the rain
the rain it makes puddles, we like to splash around
we could do this all day

i a no like the sun
i think the rain is much more fun
i a no like the sun
i think the rain is much more fun

  [repeat lots of times in difference voices]

so we so we so we so we so we so we so we so we play in the rain
so we so we so we so we so we so we so we so we play in the rain
so we so we so we so we so we so we so we so we play in the rain
so we so we so we so we so we so we so we so we play in the rain
  

Fan Chatter

Clap now.

Lyrics to "Fan Chatter":

hey i heard applause
yes you're not my only fan
i have some out there
they just don't want to have themselves recognized
actually the people that admire my type of music are upper class
let's applaud all the people that actually listen to this stuff
yeah, i'm giving a hand to all you fans out there, all you one fan
ok i guess this next song will be dedicated
to that one person in the background that clapped
  

Exam Dream

This start off being about my first high-school exam, which was for band. Then it turns into a lucid dream fantasy, and gets utterly hilarious! Unfortunately, it keeps going after that. And going. And going.

I've left the song intact, with almost no editing. It's rough in parts, but has an infectious energy, especially in the beginning. When I got tired of singing, I started soloing. The ending is very weird, which super-hyper drums and slow soloing.

I think the Chinese reference are based on my Good Earth sequels (e.g., "I Do Care").

Lyrics to "Exam Dream":

we'll i'd like to tell you about a story
about the boy who took his high school exams for the first time
semester exams
wasn't very proud of it
he really blew it, blew it out the window
but this is about a boy who took his exams
without eating breakfast
without eating breakfast

so i sat down in class
i sat down, i sat down
i sat down in class
as everybody was warming up
it sounded just awful, sorta like this

ok class you can get quiet now
mr c--- came in the room
i went over to my french horn, sat down
mr c---
what travis
i'd like to play my scales
sure travis, go ahead

so i sat down and being just the way i am
i volunteered to do my scales

so i sat down
and i sat down again
and i played my scales like this

he said: travis
and i said: what
he said: travis, i want to do your f scale
and i said: my f scale, what's that?
he said: it's your f scale, concert f scale
and i said: well, mr c---, for me that's a b-flat scale
and he said: fine, travis, just play it
and i said: should i play 2 octaves or 1 octave?
he says: whatever you can do travis
i said: i'll play it one octave
all right

and he said: travis, that's not impressive
and i said: mr c---, i know it sucked
he said: travis, we don't need that kind of language
and i said: mr c---, ok
and so and so
and i said: ok class, i went first; who's going next?

and this big kid walked up to me and said you're a real nerd
and i said you know what, this is my dream
this is my dream
and i can do whatever i want in my dream 'cause it's my dream
nobody else's dream
and it's indeed a dream
it's my dream
i can do what i want in my dream

and so the big kid came up to me and said
listen, squirt, i don't know what's up with you, but if it's your dream, fine
and he disappeared
i said: mr c--- since i now know this is a dream: up yours
and the whole world started turning awesome
i could do whatever i want
people were crowding around me like i was awesome
i was awesome
and my heart started pounding
started pounding because i knew that i would have fun in this dream
and i did

first thing i did was i went outside, found this car
and being it my dream, i willed myself to be able to drive it
so i did drive it; i drove it all the way into town
went to the ??? sports center, bought myself a rifle
and being it my dream i taught myself to shoot a gun
which i would not dare do now because it's stupid

so i also bought a whole lot of camouflage clothing
and i put on a ballet outfit over the camouflage
since it was my dream, i looked pretty
and i also looked awesome
so all these people, girls and boys, would come and fall in love with me
and the boys would just hang all over me
so i said: get off, you creeps
so i pushed them off with the butt of my revolver
and the girls would pile on me
and i said: get off, girls
so i pushed them away with my butt, ha ha

it was an awesome dream from the start
an awesome dream, too hot, too hot, too hot
???
an awesome dream, really really really too hot, too hot, too hot
two hearts beating as one

i met this chinese guy
he had this funny-looking hat
and he was eating rice
and looked really funny
and i said, hey mr ---
and since it was my dream i knew who he was
and i said, hey mr chow chung wang
and he said: domino pizza, domino pizza deliver
that's all he knew of american
so being it my dream i taught him everything i knew about american
and one day we went to class and he had to give a report
so he stood up and said: ???
he started speaking chinese, going: ???
and then this big indian came on, on in my dream
he walked through the door and he went: ???
and i said: what's that supposed to mean
and he said: ???
and i took me about an hour
but being it my dream i finally found out
he was saying: get that chinese guy off the air

and so i looked around and i was in a radio station
i heard the signal for the news to begin

so i had my rifle

i sang over the air
of a hijacked studio
people calling in
asking where the regular dj was
i said he's on vacation
with a bullet through his head
i would say he should be dead
making this up as i go along
that's the end of my song

psyche, hit it

we are rocking, we are rocking tonight
we are rocking in my dream tonight
we are rocking, we are rocking, we are rocking

we are rocking, we are rocking in my dream tonight
we are rocking, we are rocking in my dream tonight
we are rocking, we are rocking, we do as we please
we are rocking, we are rocking, we ???

i say: we are rocking in the song so long
we are rocking and it all sounds wrong
we are rocking and i made this ???
made this up, made this up, made this, made this, made this, made this
made this up, it's over

i'm gonna speed this up
over
i'm gonna speed this up
over
i want you to feel the beat
over
i want you to love the beat
taste the beat
move your feet
i want you to feel the beat
this song is over over over over over over over over
one more chorus take it

i want you to feel the beat
i want you to hear the beat

yeah, we're ending and the song's over
  

Will You Believe

This was the eve of my 15th birthday. It sounds like I was pretty excited. Being alive is cool.

The suicide references are a bit cliche. I guess teenagers think a lot about mortality? Or at least artsy-fartsy ones like me? Oh, how very "emo" of me. Snort.

The solos are lame, but the singing is heartfelt and funny, expecially towards the end.

Lyrics to "Will You Believe":

will you believe
will you believe
will you believe me

will you believe i'll be 15 tomorrow
will you believe i'll give in to sorrow
will you believe i'll be 15 tomorrow
will you believe ??? tomorrow

oh will you believe
oh will you believe

oh will you believe i'll be 15 tomorrow
will you believe i'll give in to sorrow
will you believe
will you believe i'll be 15 years old

will you believe, will you believe
will you believe, will you believe
will you believe

will you believe i'll be 15 tomorrow
will you believe i haven't given in to sorrow
will you believe i'm still around today
to sing this song however long

and that's a long long time: a decade and a half
i've alive 15 years i'm proud i'm here today
to sing this song to have my way
to be alive this song
15 i'm 15

oh will you believe i'll be 15 tomorrow
oh will you believe i'll be 15 tomorrow
oh will you believe i'll be 15 tomorrow
i haven't given in to my sorrow

i have constrained it, restrained it
rearranged my intentions

will you believe 15
if you have confidence in yourself
will you believe i made it this far
will you believe i'm alive to sing

will you believe
not very hard to be this old
if you have no problems at all
but you do and so do i
and that's why i had to try not to
give in to myself, give in to doubts
give in to myself, give in to doubts

so that's why i am singing
that's why i keep my ears from ringing

will you believe 15 tomorrow
will you believe i haven't given in to sorrow
will you have not given in
will you believe i'm alive and sinning
yeah

i know we all had our doubts that i would turn 15
but here i am and singing

will you believe, will you believe
will you believe i'll be 15
will you believe, will you believe
will you believe i'll be 15

and next year i'll be 16
and then i'll be 17
then 18 then 19 and 20
and on and on
if i keep my mind from sorrow
i'll be alive tomorrow
forever more
i won't open that door
i won't jump into the end
i won't turn that bend
proud to be 15
i'm so proud to be 15

will you believe i am 15
i still got a long ways to go
will you believe i am 15
there's a lot of stuff i don't know

got a whole life ahead of me

will you believe i will be 15
will you believe
will you believe i'll be 15 tomorrow
and i'll keep on singing

my songs ought keep me alive
without them i won't thrive
my songs keep from dying
and they keep from from crying

will you believe i'll be 15 tomorrow
a year older then i was today, ooh
that doesn't rhyme but i don't give a hoot

will you believe i'll be 15 tomorrow
the song's almost over so just wait
will you believe i'll be 15 and proud of it
that's 14 years of living straight
oh god
this song doesn't earn a star

will you believe i'll be 15 tomorrow
will you believe i haven't given into sorrow

will you believe
will you believe me
believe me

good luck on your exams
  

Scat-Trav Chatter

Talking about the Scat-Trav approach (speeding up recordings).

Lyrics to "Scat-Trav Chatter":

that was scat trav
i did that first a year ago
when i recorded some piano music
and i sped it up using that little tape recorder
and i liked the sped up version
so i just decided to try it again
it doesn't sound like me but i'm used to the way it sounds
i like it a lot
it's not my idea because you know, alvin and the chipmunks
see, boring songs are usually long
you know, just be glad i sped it up
because it'd be about one and a half times as long
if i didn't speed it up they'd be drawn out and
if i made a mistake it wouldn't be as funny
when i make mistakes i laugh
and when i laugh it sounds like a real laugh: ha ha ha
but up there i go he he he
and that's what i want
i like the way it sounds
it's a little bit better
for the non-serious songs
now that's a serious song
i just put it in the scat trav
because i didn't like the way i sang
and my mother complains that i don't have enough melody in my voice
it's just one bland blaaaaa
i guess that's right
  

The Math Exam

Yes, I had exams on my birthday. Bummer! Fortunately, I think I had a new mixer.

Dumb lyrics, dumb music. Not a very "cool" way to end the album.

Funny how the gender of the teacher changes.

Lyrics to "The Math Exam":

today's my birthday
happy birthday myself
this song is called the math exam

we're singing jah jah jah
we're singing jah jah with my mixer
i feel it jah jah jah
come on chorus, get in here and mixer up

and then the math exam - ha ha ha!
it was a trickly little devil, seven pages long
i really used my brain to finish that test
and when i was done i put my head down to rest

i slept for an hour and then i awoke
nothing had changed, not even a single person spoke
then i looked up at mike, the guy who sits next to me
and i saw he was working, still on page 3

i looked out the window, at the cloudy grey sky
this class was so slow it almost made me cry
it was 11:45, two hours since we began
and now it was time to take up the exam

then the slow pokes in the classroom wailed and cried
one even pretended that she had dropped and died
our teacher had the last laugh - she giggled and she jeered
then mike pulled out his compass and the teacher got speared

yes, there was murder in the classroom
while we took our exams
she was murdered by mike
well i told him hey mike you behaved like a man

mike! mike! you are the hero, mike!
she was laughing at us, and the teacher got spiked!
mike! mike! you can be our best bud!
now get down on the floor, and clean up all the blood!

singing now all of a sudden we heard a knock on the door
had no idea what was in store
i figured there was no sense in trying to hide
so then i opened the door; there was nobody outside, thank god

now cleaning up the body was no easy task
there was blood covered her face as if it were a mask
well, we put her in the corner and wiped up all the mess
girls got upset when they got blood on their dresses

mike and i decided that he'd better get away
i told him to help; i wasn't gonna stay
so we left the room, without a pass
the next thing we know it we're asked where is our class

the teacher was a wimp - he fell with one blow
so we ran outside - it was beginning to snow
we walked into town, and stayed at the mall
and then i just realized we had left blood on the wall

there was murder in the classroom
while we took our exams
she was murdered by mike
i said you behaved like a man man man

so i said "mike! mike! you are in trouble mike!
we can get out of the state if that's what you like"
and i said "mike! mike! you got to run a while you can"
and then it snapped in his head - and boy - that kid ran!

since mike mike mike mike mike mike mike mike 

the math exam
  

Mixer Chatter

Gabbing about the mixer that I got for my birthday.

Lyrics to "Mixer Chatter":

[snippet from Will You Believe]

wait wait
wait wait don't listen to that
it's gone
there we go

well that was the first try-out with my mixer
and it wasn't such a great idea
you want me to repeat the song?
i'll repeat the song

i wrote this during math class for my teacher
it's dedicated soley to my teacher, the dimwit
she is really the dimmest person i know
she's really out of it, mega out of it
wooh!

ok i don't know how to use this mixer
can you tell? no
but it's an expensive thing
i don't know how much it cost
50 maybe
but it has all these instructions to it and i read 'em
yes, i read every one of 'em
and i still don't understand how to use it
because i'm a dummy

here's the song
mike helped me write it
ok
  

The Math Exam (poem)

Great. We get to hear these stupid awful again!

Lyrics to "The Math Exam (poem)":

the math exam

and then the math exam - ha ha ha!
it was a trickly little devil, seven pages long
i really used my brain to finish that test
and when i was done i put my head down to rest

i slept for an hour and then i awoke
nothing had changed, not even a single person spoke
then i looked up at mike, the guy who sits next to me
and i saw he was working, still on page 3

i looked out the window, at the cloudy grey sky
this class was so slow it almost made me cry
it was 11:45, two hours since we began
and now it was time to take  up the exams

then the slow pokes in the classroom they wailed and cried
one even pretended that she had dropped and died
our teacher had the last laugh - she giggled and she jeered
then mike pulled out his compass and the teacher got speared

ha ha ha ha ha ha

murder in the classroom
while we took our exams
she was murdered by mike
well he behaved like a man

mike! mike! you are the hero, mike
she was laughing at us, and so the teacher got spiked
mike! mike! you can be our best bud
now get down on the floor, and clean up all the blood!

now all of a sudden we heard a knock on the door
and we had no idea just what was in store
i figured there was no sense in trying to hide
so then i opened the door; and there was nobody outside, thank god

now cleaning up the body was no easy task
blood covered her face as if it were a mask
well, we put her in the corner and wiped up all the mess
girls got upset when they got blood on their dresses

mike and i decided that he'd better get away
i decided him to help him; i wasn't gonna stay
so we left the room, without a pass
the next thing we know we're asked where's our class

the teacher was a wimp - he fell with one blow
so we ran outside - it was beginning to snow
we walked into town, and stayed at the mall
and then i just realized we had left blood on the wall

there was murder in the classroom
while we took our exams
she was murdered by mike
he behaved like a man

so i said "mike! mike! you are in trouble mike!
we can get out of the state if that's what you like"
and i said "mike! mike! mike mike! you got to run a while you can"
and then it snapped in his head - and boy - that kid ran!

mike mike mike mike you are in trouble mike
you are in trouble mike

this is an awful song
here, listen
  

No Star Chatter

Finally, it's over.

Lyrics to "No Star Chatter":

oh god that was sorry
boy this has been one waste of a tape
no star for this, definitely not
our snow: most of it's gone
how are your eleven inches?
ha ha ha
ok this song goes into the trash can
no; none of my songs go into the trash can
they just go into deep storage
which is where this one is going
next tape might be better
i still haven't gotten your letter
i'm sorry for being so stupid
bye