albums
Compilations
2012 Casio Picks
2012 Piano Picks
2012 Acoustic Picks
2012 Electric Picks
2013 Trex Video
Childhood (1974-90)
1977 Firsts
1978 Seconds
1985 Cacappella
1986 Eye Beater
1987 Guitarded
1988 Kim 1
1988 Kim 2
1988 Kim 3
1988 Kim 4
1988 Kim 5
1988 Kim 6
1988 Kim 7
1988 Kim 8
1988 Kim 9
1988 Kim 10
1988 Kim 11
1988 Kim 12
1989 Kim 13
1989 Five Dollar Drummer
1989 Wino Three Girls
1990 A Caustic Gutter
1996-1999
1996 NoVaSoCa
1996 Fullerton
1997 Soundtracks
1997 Walk Around
1997 Riding the Greyhound
1999 I Mowed
1999 Simulameous
1999 Yikes
1999 Piano Farte
2000-2008
2001 Marathon
2001 Days Like These
2001 Alcan Back
2001 Sleepy Sloppy
2001 Dad Day Jam
2002 Unfit
2002 The Key of G
2003 Daffy Day
2003 Januweary
2003 Post-Key
2003 Fatiguitar
2003 Oh No
2005 Waiting
2005 Sun Strike
2006 Stinky Room
2006 Schtupid
2007 Coy Pun
2007 Post-Ides
2007 Post-Ideas
2007 Post-Ideals
2007 Warble
2007 Another Same Day
2007 And Another
2007 Bald Ballads
2007 Lunch Broken
2007 Mayo
2007 Mayon
2007 Mayonandon
2007 Mayoff
2007 Juneo
2007 Juneon
2007 Juneonandon
2007 Two Song Rule
2007 Cavy Fury
2007 Infinity Daze
2007 Fall Start
2007 False Tart
2007 Fall End
2008 New Ear
2008 Decadend

Track List

# title lyrics time download listen started recorded rating
1 Hitler lyrics 8:05 download listen locally - 2007-04-20
2 Ballad of Bald lyrics 2:48 download listen locally - 2007-04-20
3 Ballad of Bald Chatter lyrics 0:45 download listen locally - 2007-04-20
4 Ballad of Bald 2 lyrics 2:19 download listen locally - 2007-04-20
5 Ballad of Bald 3 lyrics 1:54 download listen locally - 2007-04-20
6 Ballad of Bald 4 lyrics 5:53 download listen locally - 2007-04-20
7 Ballad of Bald 5 lyrics 6:31 download listen locally - 2007-04-20
8 1 2 3 lyrics 1:33 download listen locally - 2007-04-20
9 Summer's Coming lyrics 3:05 download listen locally - 2007-04-23
10 Return of the Door to Door lyrics 11:44 download listen locally - 2007-04-23
11 Cows Intro lyrics 0:13 download listen locally - 2007-04-23
12 Here Come the Cows lyrics 7:55 download listen locally - 2007-04-23
13 I'm Not Really lyrics 5:20 download listen locally - 2007-04-23
14 Doopie Riff lyrics 2:35 download listen locally - 2007-04-23
Total 60:40 play all locally album rating:

Notes

Ugh. These are even worse.

There's really not much real music here, just flailing.

Songs

Hitler

The real motivations behind WW2.

Lyrics to "Hitler":

happy hitler's birthday, everybody

happy happy birthday everybody

hitler was born today
somewhere in the european lands
 
he was born today
about 100 years ago

hitler was a good man
unlike his brother adolf
i'm of course talking about
gunther hitler

gunther hitler was a good samaritan
and he was half-jewish

but he always fought with his brother
about things like money
and things like religion
and things like money
and things like how to wear your facial hair

gunther hitler was a deeply religious man
unlike his brother adolf who was a jerk
adolf was so embarassed by his good samaritan older brother
that he disowned him
and that is why you never see gunther in the history books

but gunther was a good man
and adolf fought with him whenever he can
everybody liked gunther
and adolf was insanely jealous
so he proposed that gunther go away

gunther hitler was a ladies' man
so he went to the most famous place where they land the ladies
can you guess where that is, that is right, it's paris

gunther hitler lived in paris
for almost a month
before hitler decided to invaded
because hitler
and by hitler i mean adolf
was so jealous of his brother's prowess in the sack
so he decided to steal his brother back

first he invaded belgium
and then he invaded france
and all the while his brother gunther
was having trouble keeping on his pants

'cause everybody liked gunther
unlike his brother
everybody loved gunther
but adolf was the other, nutter

happy birthday adolf
gunther said when he greeted him on the gates of paris
and adolf just pretended not to know him
that was his revenge for all the fun that gunther was having

after that adolf kinda lost heart
he turned his back on france
and decided to attack his sister
patricia who lived in russie
patricia was a brother

she, like her brother gunther
was deeply religious, deeply samaritanical
samaritanical
and she couldn't stand her other shrimpy brother adolf
so she moved to russia
to live with a big woman and a big man
a big bear man

patricia saw her brother's troops preparing to invade
and you know what she did?
she drank the vodka
she had one vice and that was the vodka
she had one vice and that was the vodka
the wodka, the wodka, the wodka

and adolf could not religion or spirits
that included his sister's fetish for vodka spirits
so adolf decided to invade with his mighty army

pow pow barabarossa
all because of patricia

adolf wasn't very good to siblings

adolf had one sibling left
it was a transsexual hermaphrodite
it was not a brother, it was not a sister
it was an it
the its name was jodie

jodie hitler had at a very young age decided she was special
she loved to sweep, sweep, sweep

jodie hitler couldn't find any place to sweep near home
so she went to america on her own
and here she lives to this day
she's about 90 years old and she loves to sweep and sweep all day

anyway jodie couldn't stand what her brother adolf was doing to her other siblings
so she said, hey, america, can you go kick my brother's but
can you go kick my brother's but

and america said, all right, going
just don't ask us for any more favors
even though you are special
you only get one favor from us
put you in a home somewhere in northwest
somewhere in the northwest
somewhere in the northwest
after we get gone and kick the adolf's butt
and then turning our face
to the other bully
whose name is hirohito

whose birthday is fortunately on some other day 
so i don't have to sing about him
  

Ballad of Bald

Kinda dumb.

Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald":

this is called the ballad of bald

hey everbody, all you bald people out there
hey everbody, that's right, i didn't practice
that's right, i didn't practice
'cause this is all an improv
this is all an improv
this is all an improv
this is all an improv

that's right, i didn't practice
that's right, i didn't practice
this is all an improv
this is all an improv
this is all an improv

that's right, i did an improv
that's right, i did an improv
that's right, i did an improv
i'm making it all up

i need to learn some more chords
don't you think

somewhere in the islands
there lived an emperor
but his birthday was another day

somewhere in the islands
there lived an emperor
but his birthday was another day

another day
and it's the 60s now
everybody revolution and love the 60s
come on get your flowers out
come on and get your flowers and hula hoops out

that's right, i didn't practice
this is all an improv
that's right, i didn't practice
this is all an improv
that's right, i didn't practice
this is all an improv

that's right, i didn't practice
and this is all an improv
that's right, i didn't practice
and this is all an improv
that's right, i didn't practice
this is all an improv

that's right, i didn't practice
and this is all an improv
that's right, i didn't practice
and this is all an improv
that's right, i didn't practice
and this is all an improv
ah

that's right, i didn't practice
this is all an improv
this is all an improv
this is all an improv

that was horrid
  

Ballad of Bald Chatter

Blaa blaa blaa. The music doesn't go anywhere. Does it ever?

Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald Chatter":

that was called the ballad of the bald part 1
and if that doesn't appear on the cd
and ballad of the bald part 2 does
then we just will understand that ballad of the bald part 1 sucked
i mean, of course anything with the trex moniker on it sucks
all right
in case y'all didn't figure it out
hitler's birthday is the famous 4/20
and this year it's 2007
  

Ballad of Bald 2

More dumbness.

Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald 2":

this is ballad of the bald part 2
ballad of bald part 2
no the

there's no the in ballad of bald
there's no the in ballad of bald
[scat]

there's no the in ballad [scat]
there no [scat]

god i play like a child, don't i

there's no the in ballad of the bald
there's no the in ballad of the bald
there's no the in ballad of bald
of bald, of bald, gotta say it right

there's no the in ballad of the bald
there's no the in ballad of bald
there's no the in ballad of bald
that's right, i gotta say it right

there's no the in ballad of bald
there's no the in ballad of bald
there's no the in ballad of bald
i gotta right say it right

what's the point of ballad of bald

god i'm awful
of course, i don't have to say that
you can hear it yourself

there's no the in ballad of bald
there's no the in ballad of bald
there's no the in ballad of bald
that's right, i gotta say the the

there's no the in ballad of bald
there's no the in ballad of bald

oh screw it
i gotta turn over the tape
this has been horrible
this is really horrible
maybe i should just record over it
i don't know
i mean, it's just a waste of tape
  

Ballad of Bald 3

Ugh. More. As if we need it.

Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald 3":

my advisors advised me to advise them to advise me to record over that last song
but i didn't listen to them
because i advised them to advise me not to listen to them when they advise me

that's not funny, the ballad of bald

this is making me want to puke all over the tape recorder
it's so horrible

this is ballad of bald part 3
i really stink at it

there's no the in ballad of bald
there's no

that was part 3
am i gonna get any parts onto the trex cd?
am i gonna get any parts onto the trex cd?
am i gonna get any parts onto the trex cd?

am i gonna get any parts
am i gonna get any parts
am i gonna get any parts
on the trex cd

so the deal was 4 o'clock for a walk
it's 3:37 and i'm here by myself
again and again and again

i would say you always cancel
you always cancel

why does the amp sound so tinny
why does the music sound so puny
  

Ballad of Bald 4

Not quite better.

Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald 4":

ballad of bald part 4
better be better

better be better better better

you can't just announce it better be better
and expect it to magically be better
you have to make it better, travis

you gotta make it better
you gotta make it better

you gotta make it better
you gotta make it better
you gotta make it better

you gotta make it better
you gotta make it better
you gotta make it better
you gotta make it better

you forgot why you're doing trex
the whole point of trex is practice, isn't it?
the whole point of trex is trying things out
exercise and experiment ???
??? so regimented
it got so formulaic

the point of trex is experiment
oh ??? shut up

the point of trex is experiment

i must admit
i do it because i like to make noise
i don't have ??? the legions of fans
i don't have any legions of fans
i don't have any legions of fans
i don't even have dozens of fans
i don't even have more than 2 or 3 fans
who would actually listen to an entire album
actually i think the exact number of fans is 2
me and you

just strip away complexity
and what you have is a simple chord that
is based on e

whoever invented power chords had me in mind
i like a simple algorithm
i hate complexity
i like repetition and ???
they are all ??? to me
good to me
good to me
good to me
good to me

you know, my fingers are getting tired
got it collapses

it just sort of collapsed
that's not cool
although my fingers are getting tired
  

Ballad of Bald 5

Almost done.

Lyrics to "Ballad of Bald 5":

all right this is it
i always say
i always say

this is the last song
it's never the last song
this is the last song
it's never the last song

i just pick a chord
it's always based on e
or a power chord

i don't know how to play
i don't really know how to play
i don't really know how to play
i don't really know how to play

i can make this noise all day
i will ruin a hundred tapes
i just don't know how to play
i don't know how to play

but i, i thin i have fun this way
not knowing quite how to play
i think i have fun this way
i can do this every day

the only people that suffer is you
but i will continue

i just don't know how to play
but it's more fun this way
i don't know just how to play
is this more fun this way

i don't know just how to sing
but this is my own thing
i just don't know how to play
but it's more fun this way

so 4 o'clock is almost here
now i by myself???
???
[scat]

it is almost 4 o'clock
and i just commence to rock
i have ???
somehow i don't think i'll hear the door

at 4
i'll hear a ring and that ??? everything
that's what i am always expecting

excuses
i'm too busy for you travis
i'm too busy for you travis ???
i cannot be ??? right now

well i am busy too
if you can tell
i am so busy right now
doing stuff so importante

i am doing ??? important
[scat]

right now ???
infected it looks like a cold sore 
but it's not or at least i think it's not
maybe it's a ???

i hope i do not edit all these songs
the trex cds will go on for too long
who will listen to all this junk
it's not even as entertaining as us punk

which was bad enough
it was bad enough
it bad enough
bad enough

it was bad enough
bad enough
bad enough
bad enough

us punk was bad enough
uk punk was more tough
that was stupid but that's ok
'cause this is trex, i can do it any day

that is stupid is ok
??? all the time
[scat]

are you getting tired of this pattern
my fingers do not hit it right each time
i cannot play consistently
i cannot ??? and then do this and sing at the same time

i always make mistakes
but that's the game i play
trex is ??? mistakes
trex is about ??? mistakes

the name of this song is ballad of bald part 4
or part 5; i don't remember which it is
the name of this song is ballad of bald part 4 or 5
it ???

it's ok because i get to pick the songs i chose
and it's ok because i get to pick each chord i play
and right now i can't help if all the chords i play
are all about power chords today

that's all i know how to play
maybe i'll play more complex chords some day
but for now i ??? play the power chords
i know i am getting bored too

i think i'm gonna wind this up
my fingers are getting tired
i think i'll just ??? this one last cycle
bye bye bye bye bye bye bye
  

1 2 3

Mmm.

Lyrics to "1 2 3":

all right now
i said i was gonna turn off the guitar
or i said that was the last song
all right now you know how when you're a kid and you do something wrong
and the parents say i'm gonna count to three
and they go
1 
2 
2 1/2
2 3/4
2 7/8
2 15/16
2 31/32
2 63/64
2 127/128
2 255/256
2 511/512
2 1023/1024
2 2047/2048
2 4191/4192 
2 and i forget the next number
3
  

Summer's Coming

New day, same old tape wasting.

Lyrics to "Summer's Coming":

all right 
today is 23rd of april 2007

the summer's coming
the ants are coming
god my vocals are horrible

the summer's coming
the summer's coming
hey

here come the spiders to scare us out of our home
here come the door to door salesmen
that was horrible
  

Return of the Door to Door

Painful.

Lyrics to "Return of the Door to Door":

all right this next song is called the return of the door to door

return of the door to door
they're coming, they're coming
they always ask me for more
return of the door to door
return of the door to door

return of the door to door
they're coming, they're coming
they always ask me for more
return of the door to door
return of the door to door

same thing every single year
it never varies, it never varies
they're just asking me for their
they're just asking me to pay attention to their agenda

all right ???
we're horribly distorted, aren't we?

return of the door to door
return of the door to door
maybe someone

why is it so loud today
i don't want it to be this loud

it's too loud
it's too loud

return of the door to door
return of the door to door

everything is just too loud
everything is just so painfully loud
why
why does it have to be so painfully loud
everything is so loud today

here come the summers
here come the summers and the summer temperatures
here come the summer summer summer summer
???

??? today
i wonder if the ice cream is bad today
???
this is just as bad as anything ipecac ever did
i wonder if the bad
the summer, the summer, the summer, the summer
the summer's gonna fry my brain

too much

the summer's gonna fry my brain

it's too hot, it's too hot, you know

it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know
it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know
it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know
it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know

ease up on the reverb
too much reverb
that's better

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
everybody loves it
but i think it's a bummer 'cause

it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know
it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here comes the summer
man oh what a bummer

it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know

we're missing, that's what we're missing
we're missing bass
we need something in the bass
??? bass
this is a mess

here comes the summer

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
oh my god
what a bummer 'cause

it's too hot, you know, it's too
too much

all right 
this is take 2
same day
23rd of april
this is actually take a million
i'm just recording over the last few takes
which were horrid, horrid

here comes
here comes
here comes the summer
here

ah shoot
i lost it, man

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here 

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
some people love the summer
but i like the winter better 'cause

it's too hot, you know, it's too hot, you know

oh that was horrible

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here comes the summer
my my what a bummer 'cause

it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here comes the summer
and my my what a bummer 'cause

it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

some people like the winter
but i like the s
that makes no sense

got it
see?  this what it's been like
i just make mistake after mistake after mistake
i'm not doing anything right
i'm a little bit disgusted with myself, i must say

i'm a little bit disgusted with myself

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here comes the summer
my my my what a bummer 'cause
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

here comes the
ahh

all right
i'm recording over this for the third time
it's so hot in here, it's crazy
all right, i seriously have to open the doors
but it's really hot in here
and the amp is loud
it's hurting my ears
i have to get back to work
this is such a waste of time
so frustrating 'cause it's so hot
i'm getting cranky
so let's cranky it

i know, that's not the right sound

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here comes the summer
god what a bummer 'cause
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
some people think it's great
but i think it is a bummer 'cause
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

all right
i'm pressing record without even caring
this is
i'm recording over this the 4th time because i have to get this right
oh god

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here comes the summer
oh god what a bummer 'cause
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here comes the summer
oh god what a bummer 'cause
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

some people like the spring and summer
but i like the winter better
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

all right i messed up
1 2 3 4

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here comes the summer
oh god what a bummer 'cause
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here comes the summer
oh god what a bummer 'cause
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here comes the summer
oh god what a bummer 'cause
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

some people like the spring and summer
but i like the winter better
ha
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

my guitarist stinks
he's such a bummer
he's not so hot you know he's

god come on
guitarist, wake up
the guitarist is awful
let's get in sync not
the guitarist
stop it

here comes the summer
here comes the summer
here comes the summer
oh god what a bummer 'cause
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know
you know

it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know
it's so hot, you know, it's so hot, you know

that wasn't so hot, you know, that wasn't so hot, you know
that wasn't so hot, you know, that wasn't so hot, you know
i know it was not
i know it was not, you know, i know it was not, you know
  

Cows Intro

This talks about how in the middle of the tape I switched from dictaphone back to 4-track. The confusing timeline (with "previous" songs being either 19 April, 20 April, or 23 April) is part of the reason I stopped doing experiments like this.

Lyrics to "Cows Intro":

today's the 23rd of april
that last one was recorded 4 days ago on the 19th of april  on 2 track dictaphone
this one is 4 track
this one directly follows everything that i've recorded on the previous tape
which is 4-track only
  

Here Come the Cows

First we had "Here Come the Spiders", then "Here Comes the Summer", and now "Here Come the Cows". Sounds like my brain was tired!

The music certainly is fatigued. And fatiguing. It's basically just the same riff (and vocals) over and over using different presets on the Pod Pro.

Lyrics to "Here Come the Cows":

most likely i'm gonna throw away the 4/19 stuff which is pretty bad
it's more of a sound test, you know
not that trex has ever 
has ever graduated from the domain of sound tests

here come the cows
across the field
they're coming to say hi
i don't know why

here come the cows
across the field
they're coming to say hi
i still don't know why

here come the cows
they're getting closer now
here come the cows

here come the cows
they're licking the fence
the fence is my only defence

here come the cows
and behind them the bulls
who are watching their cows

here come the cows
and here come the bulls
here come the cows
here come the bulls

  [repeat several times]

here come the cows
here come the bulls
here come the [scat]

the other tape is full of this sort of lame stuff too
2 3 4

here come the cows
and here come the bulls
here come the cows
here come the bulls

it's so hot in here
that i can barely think
it's so hot in here
i feel like drinking from the sink

here come the cows
and here come the bulls
here come the cows
here come the bulls

here come the cows
and here come the bulls
here come the cows

amen  
  

I'm Not Really

The phaser makes this sound a bit like a Julian Cope jam. The ideas and performance are awful.

Lyrics to "I'm Not Really":

i'm not really a guitar player
can you tell
i'm not really a really singer
can you tell

i'm not really a guitar player
can you tell
i'm not really a decent singer
can't you tell

i'm not really playing
this is an allen foster production
i'm just joking
i cannot blame another for my own incompetance

trex is not going anywhere
it's just flailing around hoping for luck
i'm not doing anything i haven't done
twenty time before

the only difference is that instead of piano
i'm an abusing a blaa blaa
  ah nice one travis
the only difference is that instead of piano
i'm abusing a guitar

but it's still just bad, just bad, just bad
just bad, that's trex
oh just bad
just bad
'cause trex is bad, it's bad
trex is so bad

trex hasn't evolved; it's just a chicken
trex is just a juvenile fluffy chicken

and sometime it will run into the road
into the road, into the road
sometime it will run into the road
into the road, into the road

that was a bad chord progression

so long
listen to me play the same notes over and over again
trex has not since gone anywhere
it's still travis alone with his guitars and notes

travis is playing all alone
he doesn't bother to practice
except for when the tape recorder is on

gotta roll
for trex to roll
i'm never on a roll
just a spring roll
  

Doopie Riff

Ugh.

Lyrics to "Doopie Riff":

so what can you do about it trav
how can you fix this awful mess
one is stop eating up tape like a demo
stop fiddling with controls while recording
stop playing the stupid 8th notes

this is dumb riff
i don't know why i play it
i guess i'm playing a bass
i don't know why i play it

this is a doopie riff
this is a doopie riff
this is a doopie riff
this is a doopie riff

this is a doopie riff
this is a doopie riff
this is a doopie riff

this is a doopie riff

this is a doopie riff
this is a doopie riff
this is a doopie riff

it's just too hot in here
it's just incredibly hot in here
gotta be at least 60 degrees