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1988 Apostrophe
1988 Gourmet
1988 Induces Vomitting
1988 Best of IPECAC
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1988 Here and Now
1988 Leaping Leper Limousine
1988 Catharsis
1989 Best of IPECAC 2
1989 Fake Reverb 2
1990 Live at Carnegie Hall
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View printable CD cover for album: Best of IPECAC Click on the thumbnail to view a printable cd sleeve.
  • Title: Best of IPECAC
  • Artist: IPECAC
  • Timespan: 10 September 1988
  • Theme: first set of remakes
  • Length: 55:16
  • Tracks: 10
  • Lyrics: 8
  • MP3s: 10 play all locally
  • Rating: rate this album

Track List

# title lyrics time download listen started recorded rating
1 Apostrophe Song (2) lyrics 2:50 download listen locally - 1988-09-10
2 Trek (4) - 11:49 download listen locally - 1988-09-10
3 Chatter lyrics 0:51 download listen locally - 1988-09-10
4 Better Drumsticks lyrics 3:24 download listen locally - 1988-06-??
5 Coup d'Etat lyrics 5:34 download listen locally - 1988-09-10
6 Petrify - 1:31 download listen locally - 1988-09-10
7 Hallogen (2) lyrics 3:29 download listen locally - 1988-09-10
8 Cacaphony and Euphony (2) lyrics 2:18 download listen locally - 1988-09-10
9 Kim Edition Interview lyrics 11:15 download listen locally - 1988-??-??
10 Good Earth Sequel lyrics 12:15 download listen locally - 1988-??-??
Total 55:16 play all locally album rating:

Notes

Best of IPECAC may have seemed like a premature ego-trip from our (nonexistant) audience's perspective, but it was actually a humble attempt to improve some of the original recordings by adding better solos, cleaner production, etc.

We stuck with the original recording of "Better Drumsticks" since it was so hard to play (Jon tended to write difficult jazz songs whereas I wrote simple pop/rock) but we re-recorded four of our favorites and added two new songs.

From a 1989-02-15 journal entry:

With all these unpolished, incomplete songs circulating, we decided to re-record the ones with the most potential on a Best of IPECAC album. This was a good idea, because the success of the newly improved songs inspired us to work on writing music instead of improvising all the time.

In other words, Best of IPECAC made us appreciate our well-written songs. At the same time, though, we still were in love with improvisation. We needed to find a balance between formula and fun.

Kim Edition

In 2007 my cousin Kim gave me a box of tapes that I had sent to her in the late 1980s. One of those tapes was a special version of Best of IPECAC. It omitted "Coup d'Etat", "Cacaphony and Euphony (2)", and the first set of between-song "Chatter", but included an "interview" and the "Good Earth Sequel" on the end. It also had its own tape cover, designed by Jon:

Best of IPECAC tape cover (for Kim) side 1 Best of IPECAC tape cover (for Kim) side 2

Songs

Apostrophe Song (2)

This is our remake of "Apostrophe Song" (on Gourmet). It's a lot leaner and tighter than the original. Jon's solo is pretty cool; you can tell he'd improved tons over the past couple months.

Jon's sleeve notes for the Kim Edition of Best of IPECAC:

The Apostraphe Song (Band Theme)

For those of you who are confused, it might help to realize that IPECAC was originally called APOSTRAPHE. This is a fairly early song.

Nice spelling, Jon!

Lyrics to "Apostrophe Song (2)":

INTRO:
  in june 1988 the group apostrophe was formed

VERSE:
  hear us ring, see us swing
  all of us dancing the bong-a-long
  hear us sing, see our zing
  'postrophe crushin' 'cause we be king

  hey don't ding the pots
  please don't dent the bowls
  try to spare the box
  look at the holes

CHORUS:
  'postrophe crushin' 'cause we be king
  'postrophe crushin' 'cause we can sing
  'postrophe crushin' 'cause we can rhyme
  'postrophe crushin' all of the time

VERSE:
  crushin' crushin' crushin' crushin'
  crushin' crushin' crushin' crushin'
  and bustin' bustin' bustin' bustin'
  bustin' bustin' etc.

  crushin' crushin' crushin' crushin'
  crushin' crushin' crushin' crushin'
  bustin' bustin' bustin' bustin'
  bustin' bustin' bustin' bustin'

  'postrophe bustin' 'cause we got power
  'postrophe bustin' 'cause it's our hour
  'postrophe bustin' as we sing
  'postrophe bustin' everything

CHORUS:
  'postrophe crushin' 'cause we be king
  'postrophe crushin' 'cause we can sing
  'postrophe crushin' 'cause we can rhyme
  'postrophe crushin' all of the time
(c) 1988 IPECAC

Trek (4)

This is the final version of "Trek". The rhythm and tuning are more together than in earlier versions. It also feels faster. Unfortunately, the mix is wimpy and sterile; it seems too serious.

The third section starts off super-sloppy but gradually comes together. My cornet playing sucks, but Jon sounds great.

Jon's sleeve notes for the Kim Edition of Best of IPECAC:

Trek (Keyboard Feature)

This song has three movements. It is one of their oldest and best songs. At the end it breaks directly into their next song which is...

Chatter

Benign between-song chatter.

NOTE: This was excluded from the Kim Edition.

Lyrics to "Chatter":

TRAV:
  in july 1988 apostrophe played a couple more songs
  but in august 1988 they changed their name to ipecac
  the spirit of the wonderful band of apostrophe lives on in the
  immortal beings composing ipecac, and today ipecac plays still
  this is the best of --

JON:
  ipecac

TRAV:
  the best of ipecac, recorded september 10th 1988
  coming up is a song world-wide known, at least in our world,
  as "better drumsticks".
(c) 1988 IPECAC

Better Drumsticks

Jon wrote the music, and I wrote the lyrics (which make fun of complainers). It's a sloppy shambles. For some reason we liked it enough to put it on Best of IPECAC as-is.

Jon's sleeve notes for the Kim Edition of Best of IPECAC:

Better Drumsticks (Jazz/Fusion riff)

This song demonstrates a special effect which involves speeding up the tape. You will notice the almost superhumanly fast tempo as well as the abnormally high pitch. The vocals were not accelerated, however.

I don't remember why we called it "Better Drumsticks". Maybe the implication was that if we got better drumsticks, we'd play more pointless percussion jams?

Jon and I traded off vocals in the second verse, which was kinda a neat effect. It was often hard to coax him to sing.

Lyrics to "Better Drumsticks":

VERSE:
  you want chivalry
  you lose women's rights
  you want faster days
  you get slower nights

  you want stonger arms
  you get longer fights
  you want more attention
  you get brighter lights

  you want smaller taxes
  we have larger debts
  you want fewer missiles
  they make stronger threats

  you want easy lives
  you'll have more regrets
  you want impossible dreams
  so that's what you get

CHORUS:
  if you want a quick drug
  you'll get a life-long low
  if you want a quick drug
  you'll get a life-long low

  wooh

BRIDGE:
  it's, it's so true

  you want chivalry
  you lost women's rights

  you want chivalry

VERSE:
  you want chivalry
    you lose women's rights
  you want faster days
    you get slower nights

  you want stonger arms
    you'll get longer fights
  you want more attention
    you get brighter lights

  you want smaller taxes
    we have larger debts
  you want fewer missiles
    they make stronger threats

  you want easy lives
    you'll have more regrets
  you want impossible dreams
  so that's what you get

CHORUS:
  if you want a quick drug
  you'll get a life-long low
  if you want a quick drug
  you'll get a life-long low

END:
  wooh yeah
  look at him go
(c) 1988 IPECAC

Coup d'Etat

This was my percussion-heavy political song. I wanted it to sound tribal and dark. It has a few false starts. Don't most coups? It also has lots of bloody imagery.

We probably played this in one take (with no overdubs). This means Jon played the keyboard while I sang and banged on pots and pans.

This was a remake of a Trex song. Only the words are the same; the music is completely different.

NOTE: This was excluded from the Kim Edition.

Lyrics to "Coup d'Etat":

INTRO:
  you start it, go
  1,2,3,4
  ahhh
  i don't know,  it does that sometimes when you overload
  1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,ready go

VERSE:
  cheated workers, records fake
  [???]  1,2

  cheated workers, records fake
  burglaries, bills they take
  arguments, fists awake
  riots start, tensions break

  mass revolts, lives at stake
  weapons drawn, muzzles shake
  first bloodshed, bullets rake
  cops called in, big mistake

  waves of blood, fakes caked
  stores ablaze, children baked
  massive battles, huge outbreak
  towns erupt, cities quake

  allies part, friendships break
  [???] missiles snake
  bombs are dropped, holes they make
  [???] fire [???]
  [???] fire [???]

  human flesh, stench like steak
  human flesh

CHORUS:
  coup d'etat, overtake
  coup d'etat, overtake...

VERSE:
  cheated workers, records fake
  burglaries, bills they take
  arguments, fists awake
  riots start, tensions break

  hey, mass revolts, lives at stake
  weapons drawn, muzzles shake
  first bloodshed, bullets rake
  cops called in, big mistake

  waves of blood, fakes caked
  stores ablaze, children baked
  massive battles, huge outbreak
  towns erupt, cities quake

  allies part, friendships break
  rockets launch, missiles snake

  rockets launch, missiles snake
  bombs are dropped, holes they make
  human flesh, stench like steak

CHORUS:
  coup d'etat, overtake
  coup d'etat, overtake...

  all this death, for what sake?

  coup d'etat, overtake
  coup d'etat, overtake...

END:
  a different people rules
  another leader falls
  all in an endless cycle
  an eternal waterfall
(c) 1988 IPECAC

Petrify

Jon wrote this short piece. We played it by the numbers. No improvisation.

Jon's sleeve notes for the Kim Edition:

Petrify (Short and Weird)

This is a brand new song that can only be found on this album!!! Wow!

Hallogen (2)

We really liked this song's funkiness, but didn't know how to solo over it. It sounds empty. We were trying to do it all in one take (no overdubs), and wanted to avoid using my keyboard's canned basslines. Since my mellophone was the bass part, that meant I couldn't play anything else. Jon had to keep soloing on top. I think if we had allowed ourselves some overdubs, we could have done a cool version of this song.

Jon's comments (from 1988 tape to Kim):

Hallogen (Mass Improv)

There are two types of IPECAC songs: mass improvisationals and written songs. The best ones are written down, but this mass improve was included to provide a well rounded view of the group.

NOTE: The Kim Edition omits the talking in the beginning.

Lyrics to "Hallogen (2)":

this is before we run out of tape
this is until we run out of tape
(c) 1988 IPECAC

Cacaphony and Euphony (2)

Nice grammar, Trav. Nice playing, IPECAC. This is horrible. Zero energy, zero ideas. I think Jon was tired of recording (it had been a long day) and my messing with his sax wasn't helping things.

Jon's sleeve notes for the Kim Edition of Best of IPECAC (on which it doesn't actually appear):

Junkie (Structured mass improv)

This song is basically one long solo alternating between the two musicians, while the other plays a jazz funk background.

Lyrics to "Cacaphony and Euphony (2)":

TRAV:
  this is ipecac, the best of ipecac
  we are here to show how good we can play
  and now we have cacaphony and euphony
  this is our funky version
  and this one is almost 10 times better than the other one
  here it is: ca-caphectomy and eu--

  uno, tres
  one
  uno, tres
  uno, tres

[start playing]

TRAV:
  [???] record

JON:
  back to keyboard
  [???] recording

TRAV:
  dad, dad, look!
(c) 1988 IPECAC

Kim Edition Interview

This "interview" was included at the end of the Kim Edition (which wasn't re-discovered until 2007). It's energetic, juvenile, and occasionally funny, in that geeky IPECAC sort of way.

First, I interviewed Jon and then we swapped roles. The references to Here and Now imply that that album was either underway or completed by the time we recorded this.

Lyrics to "Kim Edition Interview":

TRAV: (panting)
  i have caught up with jonathon friesen
  we're jogging along together
  here's jonathon friesen; say hello jon

JON: (panting)
  hi, hello

TRAV:
  and he is a member of the band ipecac
  and jon i have an idea

JON:
  can i stop?

TRAV:
  yeah

JON:
  or are you gonna go on chasing after this
  gotta keep on going
  all right hurry hurry
  ah okay

TRAV:
  all right, he collapsed
  very low constitution
  ok
  jon

JON:
  ok

TRAV:
  here, let's sit down on this fire hydrant
  ok

JON:
  wait, ??? dog again
  i think it's doing something

TRAV:
  oh man got my leg
  ok jon

JON:
  ok yo ok

TRAV:
  right

JON:
  ok

TRAV:
  jon

JON:
  yeah

TRAV:
  i am reporter mahr koos

JON:
  ok

TRAV:
  mahr koos as in m a h r k o o s
  have you heard of me?

JON:
  ah oh yeah i listen to you all the time

TRAV:
  yeah? on what channel

JON:
  uh, wgay

TRAV:
  no, that's wfag, sorry
  very close
  now i have to ask you
  oh how much time to you have

JON:
  i have about 15 minutes

TRAV:
  ok, do you really mind talking to me?

JON:
  oh no, no

TRAV:
  ok let me ask you some questions

JON:
  sure

TRAV:
  number one

JON:
  ok, yo

TRAV:
  why did
  did that say did?
  did you join the band ipacoc?
  oh

JON:
  ipecac

TRAV:
  ipecac, sorry, read it wrong

JON:
  well actually, i didn't really join it
  there are only 2 people
  and so we kind of came together and made the group ipecac
  so you can't really join it
  it's just like you make it, you don't join it
  since there are only 2 people

TRAV:
  ok
  have you had any recording experience
  before you joined the group ipecac

JON:
  yes, i was once a member of the rather obscure group laser
  you probably haven't heard of us
  we were kind of a rock spoof group

TRAV:
  in fact, i have not heard of you

JON:
  really? i'm not surprised
  it was in my shady past
  but you know it provided the
  um

TRAV: (barking)

JON:
  calm down
  get back, get back
  ok, it provided me the

TRAV: (meowing)

JON:
  the musical experience that i needed to join this group
  and bring it to a level of perfection
  that is unprecedented among this size of a group

TRAV:
  nice speech but from now on can you just answer yes or no?

JON:
  certainly

TRAV:
  ok, do you have any idols in this world

JON:
  uh, yeah

TRAV:
  do you want to expand on that?

JON:
  yes

TRAV:
  ok, expand

JON:
  yes

TRAV:
  all right, cancel my last request for yes or no
  expand on it

JON:
  ok, i was going to easter island, and

TRAV: (meowing)

JON:
  shut up cat
  i was taking a vacation on easter island
  you know, with those huge huge statues
  they have lots of little replicas and i bought one
  those are idols so i do have a few idols in this world

TRAV:
  ok name three things you love about america

JON:
  about america?
  uh, it's easy enough to pronounce
  america, gosh, america
  well the national america sounds okay but it's impossible to sing
  it's hard enough to play
  so that's a problem with it
  but three things i love
  well it's easy to pronounce
  starts with an a which makes it sound a-okay
  the word america
  what is the third thing good about the word america

TRAV:
  um well if you turn it around

JON:
  oh yeah

TRAV:
  you can also pronounce it amoreeka

JON:
  certainly, yeah
  i think i had a girlfriend named that

TRAV:
  yeah, amorekee
  it reminds me of a very glorious woman doesn't it

JON:
  she was my cleaning lady

TRAV:
  yeah, that's what it means in pig-ipecacian

JON:
  not exactly but

TRAV:
  not glorious, stoic women there we go

JON:
  yeah i guess
  but this was not a stoic woman
  she was a cleaning lady

TRAV:
  um close enough, yeah, very close
  ok name 3 things you totally hate about america
  or you wish you could change

JON:
  about the country or the word?

TRAV:
   either one

JON:
  ok well the country has that difficult national anthem
  that's a problem
  also there isn't enough originality
  after all, travis and i are probably
  the last living truly original human beings on the earth
  as i said in my very famous book "travis and me"

TRAV:
  "and i"
  or is it "me"?

JON:
  it's "and me"
  it shows a little cultural background

TRAV:
  yeah slang

JON:
  yeah well, though, slang is not a good word for it
  but i guess so, yeah

TRAV:
  oh well what are 2 other things you hate about it?

JON:
  i already gave 2; you want 4 things?

TRAV:
  no just one more

JON:
  ok there you go: math
  well there aren't good enough radio announcers
  they don't know their math
  and i hate it when that happens

TRAV:
  oh

JON:
  also, the wires are very low quality

TRAV:
  yeah
  well actually this microphone is made in taiwan
  and [noise]
  yeah the wires aren't always that high quality
  the sort of tend to just fade out and [noise]
  and eventually they just get back together

JON:
  oh my god
  i've just figured out the meaning of life

TRAV:
  what is it?

JON:
  this will revolutionize  living everywhere
  everybody will be happy
  i now know how the universe works
  i have the opportunity to broadcast it
  i may forget it soon
  but here goes
  [noise]
  in a beer can

TRAV:
  my god, that's fantastic
  can i quote you on that?

JON:
  certainly

TRAV:
  all right, one more question before i leave

JON:
  certainly

TRAV:
  because you time is definitely limited

JON:
  yeah, i've got to get back to my jogging anyways
  i'm getting shin splints

TRAV:
  all right, one last question
  how... and the second degree?

JON: (laughing)
  well, um

TRAV:
  oh, i'm sorry, i accidentally hit record off

JON:
  well, in answer to your question though
  what makes the ???
  i think the ??? enriching values of it
  certainly adds more self-actualization to the individual

TRAV:
  oh god that is so poetic

JON:
  i've got to get back to my jogging though

TRAV:
  all right

JON:
  hey, watch out for that car

TRAV: (screaming)

JON:
  uh, welcome to wfag
  now to follow up with our interview last week with jonathon friesen

TRAV: [animal noises]

JON:
  we have here travis emmitt, the other and now the only member of ipecac
  the other member was the late jonathon friesen
  now travis, how did ipecac start?

TRAV:
  well, generally, jon,
  i'm sorry, let me get my cup off my head
  shawn?
  shawn hackman, is that your name?

JON:
  shawn bartley
  hackman died along with jon friesen

TRAV:
  oh that was terrible
  shawn hackman
  you were a friend of mark koos, weren't you?

JON:
  yes

TRAV:
  the indian reporter?

JON:
  the name is shawn bartley, though

TRAV:
  yeah, the lonely rabbi
  [burp]

JON:
  please answer the question

TRAV:
  all right, what was the question?

JON:
  how did ipecac start?

TRAV:
  um, i think these people back in the 18th century
  took this medicine that made you throw up
  and they put it in a bottle
  and they called it ipecac which means in greece
  medicine that makes you throw up

JON:
  i see

TRAV:
  and in greek it also means
  medicine that makes you vomit
  they're not very professional in greece

JON:
  so what made you name your group after this medicine

TRAV:
  oh you want me to expand
  why didn't you say that
  some interviews just want you to say yes or no
  [burp]
  i'm sorry, man
  i shouldn't have put the microphone down there in the first place

JON:
  gosh, that's gross

TRAV:
  is there something wrong?
  do you find that humorous?
  back in june 1988
  jonathon friesen, the late jonathon friesen
  oh how i miss him
  joined with me to create the band apostrophe
  which was named apostrophe because we wanted to call it
  and so then in august 1988
  shorter after my trip to duck, north carolina
  i decided to change the name to ipecac mostly because
  [noise]
  and that's just about it

JON:
  i see okay
  some small technical difficulties
  i hope you don't mind
  now what are the culturally enriching, socially conscious messages
  behind your music
  i mean, how do you expect the listener to actualize himself
  in accordance with social morals in this present day and age

TRAV:
  well the groups out there named poison
  and they are sort of bad and polluting
  they have a lot of bad languages in them and bad images
  negative images about america
  ipecac is here to give you more negative images
  but it sort of makes you the other images
  these are more trivial
  yeah, trivial, travis, you know, very close

JON:
  well thank you
  you had a song about grape juice stains in a carpet
  can you sing a few bars of that

TRAV:
  all right
  i don't really sing that well
  this is my off-week

JON:
  it's the death
  i'm sure that really disrupted your

TRAV:
  yeah, ues, definitely

  [with music]

  grape juice oh grape juice on the ???
  in a puddle in the floor
  mother screaming bloody murder
  and then she points to the door

  yeah

JON:
  well, that was certainly exciting

TRAV:
  i know, how many people do you know that can sing chords

JON:
  yeah, that's true, and where did that music come from?
  it just kinda beamed into you

TRAV:
  i've been practicing
  i can just like go
  [with music] wah wah wah
  there's that note that's sort of out of tune
  but i can't help that
  it comes out of my nose

JON:
  that's actually very incredible
  i'm very impressed
  now

TRAV:
  actually most of the ipecac songs on induces vomitting where a capello
  like the drums, like here
  [fake and keyboard drums]
  see, i do that through my nose
  and the crack between my teeth
  most of the songs on induces vomitting were a capello
  that's why they're so bad
  i mean i'm very sorry

JON:
  this just in
  jonathon friesen is still alive
  your reaction

TRAV:
  oh my god

JON:
  he survived by tangling his nose hairs with the truck's radiator
  he was dragged for several reaction
  your reaction

TRAV:
  oh my god

JON:
  you don't get his life insurance either
  your reaction

TRAV:
  oh god da--

JON:
  ok, thank you for listening to that news flash
  now back to travis
  what are your plans now that jonathon friesen is still alive?
  here and now

TRAV:
  uh, i think we're gonna make an album
  and since he's alive here and now
  i think we're gonna call the album "here and now"
  here spelled with an h e r e
  very creative, isn't it?

JON:
  yes, well i'm sure the public with be waiting excitingly for that
  don't forget to look out not only for their latest album
  "best of ipecac" but also for their upcoming album "here and now"
  thank you for listening

TRAV:
  ok, on the next side we're gonna have something very different
  jon doesn't know what we're gonna do yet but
  i wrote this play and it's called
  the serious melancholic sequel
  and it's a sequel to the good earth
  if you guys up there have read this
  you will get this tape before you get the other tapes
  and i have a lot of other tapes waiting since june
  and there is no hurry, ha ha ha ha ha
  all right, we're gonna begin this on the next side so you can fast-forward
  or if you want to listen to just dead air for the next 5 minutes
  whatever suits you

  [a couple minutes pass]

  you like listening to dead air, don't you?
(c) 1988 IPECAC

Good Earth Sequel

Jon and I included this on the second side of the Kim Edition tape.

It's a very silly interpretation of The Serious Melancholic Sequal, which was one of my sequels to The Good Earth. It's pretty horrible, and is here for completeness only.

Jon's reference to Fake Reverb implies that this was recorded after 1988-09-24.

Lyrics to "Good Earth Sequel":

TRAV:
  ok, just do the narrative

JON:
  it is two years after the chinese communist revolution of 1949
  so I suppose it's 1951

TRAV:
  oh, my stomach!  doctor!  i need a doctor!

JON:
  quiet!
  it's my turn
  don't interrupt
  now, as i was saying
  the communists control this particular region where the story takes place

TRAV:
  done? okay
  help! i need a doctor!

JON:
  wang! fight it! you've got to do it, for me!
  quick, fetch your father doctor tang!

TRAV:
  money; you need money
  and we don't have money
  so let me die
  just like o-lan
  i'm getting old, and have to die some time
  why not now?

  he's losing it
  he can't take much more
  i say we leave him alone

JON:
  let him die? that's barbaric!
  maybe in russia or europe but not in my house!

TRAV:
  speak clearly
  your house?!  your house?!!!  ha ha ha ha ha
  not quite, honey
  you aren't even related to wang
  he's my father; i'm his son!
  if anyone is to talk about running this house, it has to be me!

JON:
  you're forgetting something, boy:
  this is as much my house now as it is yours
  in fact, it's equally belonging to the poor fool
  it belongs to the party now, not wang's sons

TRAV:
  enough, woman!
  i've had enough...uh...badgering today
  i've got work to do

JON:
  thank god for communism!
  as long as it deals with people like that beast,
  i don't mind sharing the house with half the village

TRAV:
  where he?  where wang?

TRAV:
  right in here, good sir
  save him if you can, and may your children follow mao,
  and your grandchildren follow mao...

TRAV:
  uh, awwwight

JON:
  pear blossom, sir

TRAV:
  dovely name for a dovely girl

JON:
  that's so typical of men
  i hate it!  i hate them!
  well, actually...

TRAV:
  stop your babbling and get in here!

JON:
  oh! will he be all right?

TRAV:
  yes, he'll be fine, just a little gas pain
  he's awwwight now so i'd better be going

TRAV:
  oahhh...oahhh... thank you doctor tang

JON:
  the fee?

TRAV:
  no fee, dove
  this is socialism now
  you mustn't pay the government to keep its own workers alive!
  now good day

JON:
  goodbye, grand sir, and thank you

TRAV:
  don't thank me, thank mao

JON:
  oh, wang! you made it!

TRAV:
  my doll, my love... i need your strength...

JON:
  good night, wang lung, my friend

  it is approximately three weeks later
  wang lung's strength is ebbing...

TRAV:
  my soul wishes not to linger in this world
  my body cannot continue many more days
  yet my  heart yearns to stay with you in this house
  long ago...

JON:
  not another lecture, is it friend?

TRAV:
  i have not the energy to debate with you
  whether you should or shouldn't listen to me
  it is your decision
  long ago, when my father and i toiled over our tiny plot of earth
  with our own two calloused hands, not once did we falter in our labor [cough]
  not once did we allow [cough] the land to be
  oh, i'm sorry, some phlegm came up
  please, daughter

JON: [coughing]

TRAV:
  i hope it's not catching
  not once did we falter in our labor, not once did we allow [cough]
  oh, there, it's gone
  want me to continue, dear daughter

JON:
  yes

TRAV:
  don't cry, i'll be all right

JON: [crying]
  i can't help it

TRAV:
  not once did we --
  shut up daughter
  not once did we falter in our labor
  not once did we allow the land to be neglected as it lies now
  our very lives depending upon the land for food and status
  when our crops grew well we profitted
  we were able to buy an ox to pull a plow by
  i know it's sad, daughter, but please do not cry
  and still we had to dig and wade in the earth like swine,
  though we took a special pride in that
  to us, there was
  [screaming] some phlegm, i'm sorry

JON: [crying]

TRAV:
  don't worry, daughter,
  i shall not perish until my time to perish is here
  to us there was nothing like the pay off for a hard season's labor
  eventually, when i got myself a wife, o-lan
  my work became a little less strenuous
  for she helped with most of the labor
  though by this time, my father was unable to work

JON: [crying]

TRAV:
  for the next few years, we went through hardship after hardship
  and blessing after blessing
  and soon, oh god, i'm dizzy
  we were the wealthiest family in the city
  that was hard work
  and it paid off
  nowadays, though, no matter how hard you try
  and how many sacrifices you make
  and if you're reading this or not, it doesn't matter
  it says the same thing no matter if you ready it forwards or backwards
  or if you listen to the tape
  you achieve nothing...

JON:
  that's not true, father
  if you listen to the tape backwards, it sounds different

TRAV: [coughing]
  i'm sorry, i'll be all right

JON:
  you are helping the state, the country, the people

TRAV:
  yes, the people!
  the people who sit on their butts all day in a store
  while i am sweating in the fields!
  i am feeding the penniless slaves and beggars of the town, yes
  but also i am feeding men like my uncle, and his wife,
  the blubber-butt of the earth
  who did nothing but count the money i earned for their own uses
  they're all parasites
  the system's a parasite
  and i am the most unwilling host

  these people will take equal responsibility to work under socialism

JON:
  sadly, wang lung died shortly afterwards

TRAV:
  but not the actor

JON:
  but not the actor - hey, hey, get outa here!

TRAV:
  later!

JON:
  anyways, the two elder brothers, elder and younger
  forgetting about the new concept of communism
  immediately began arguing over who was to acquire
  the property and leadership over the house of wang

  younger, come here
  we must talk
  i must run this house
  you will help me

TRAV:
  you stutter too much
  hold on there, papers-boy
  you stutter
  you-you-you stutter too much
  you stutter too much

JON:
  newsflash; wang lung is still alive

TRAV:
  oh my god!

  [stuttering and rapping]

  hold on there, papers-boy
  you-you you
  who's to say you are the fit man to determine the ways of our harvests?
  you have no experience in grain sales
  you have to pay ten silver for a pound of rice!

JON:
  this just in: wang lung is still alive!
  he apparently kept himself alive
  by tangling his nosehairs with the radiator of the truck
  you reaction

TRAV:
  what color what the cat

JON:
  hey, you, settle down
  no one but the state will run this house
  and if you

TRAV:
  h-h-hey you, h-h-hey you

JON:
 leave my house, dung wee!
 we'll settle this matter by ourselves
 without you or the darn state's interference

TRAV:
  yet i understand his reasons for supporting communism
  for all his life he's been a worker, never with wealth or responsibilty
  he doesn't expect more, and is satisfied with being equal to everyone else
  but we, who, by the way, are rapidly growing old
  grew up most of our lives on our father's success and mounting fortune
  communism lowered our individual wealth
  so it's understandable that we resent this system

JON: [at same time]
  number one: no one talks like that in real life
  number one: no one talks like that in real life
  [operatic singing]
  number one: no one talks like that in real life
  and, number two: well, maybe you might be right
  but the system isn't -

TRAV:
  the system isn't suited for our past ways of life, i understand
  but we have to learn to accept that change
  of course, there are many, many rich land owners
  who have had to give up there hard-earned positions due to the new system
  and those land-owners would definitely listen to dumb things such as this
  which would have such a poor portrayal of chinese culture
  but still, there are many times more poor people
  whose self respects and maybe even lives have been saved by the same changes
  it is a just system, though apparently unbeneficial to ourselves
  would you rather be robbed blind by bandits
  it would risk our lives, our very lives, our incredibly very very lives
  or our very very
  that's an adverb by the way, very, no it's not, it's an adjective
  or have our wealth shared among the needy as it is now
  it is for a much better cause, period

JON:
  ridiculous!
  you are sounding exactly like a communist sermon-preacher
  it's about time i heard one; thank you
  exits

  a little while later, dung wee and jung du run in

TRAV:
  younger, it's settled, i convinced him.

JON:
  see, he must have convinced his brother
  to let him be the so-called ruler of the house
  neither one of them follows the system; they're both traitorous!

TRAV:
  no way!  i explained to my brother that -

JON:
  ere wis or yolder other?

TRAV:
  silence

JON:
  silence; ere wis or yolder other?

TRAV:
  i-in his room
  don't harm me
  i'm a frail old man

JON:
  fifty is not frail, child
  my grandfather is ninety-four and still fighting in the army

BOTH:
  against these nationalists?

JON:
  yes, of course, twit
  wait here ile i et or other
  enters elders room dragging out elder
  come with me
  exclamation point
  all three follow him outside
  end of brackets

  from her room, pear blossom hears two gunshots, a desparate yell
  and then another gunshot
  she rushes out to find the dead bodies of dung and her two brothers
  with jung standing over them, holding a gun
  she screams
  there is a fourth gunshot

TRAV:
  the final end

JON:
  oh shut up

TRAV:
  this, this, no i say it

JON:
  is fake reverb

TRAV:
  no, no, look

BOTH: [alternating words]
  this is for people namely my father who either have not read the book
  and are not familiar with the chinese communist revolution comma
  or just don't get the preceding story period
  even if you are completely familiar with communist china and my
  writing style comma you might want to read this
  scene one colon housecall
  started with wang wanglung feeling he needed a doctor period
  while the lord of the house lay on his his supposed supposed death bed
  doctor pear blossom and the younger brother debate about katy's topic
  the doctor finally comes recountance and
  declares that wang lung is going to be okay
  scene 2  recountance if that's a word contains the most
  expressive period part of the play: wang lung's tale of childhood,
  hard work, and criticism of the communist system
  the third and final scene comma living lungless is probably
  possibly the most important
  first the brothers start arguing after wang dies lie about about
  who's who's to rule the house
  gradually, the discussion turns one-sided;
  the younger brother analyzes the positive sides of communism,
  while the elder just agrees
  the two are mistaken for nationalists, and, leader jung du in truth
  i got bored and killed them off
  but it adds a touch of realism to the story

TRAV:
  that was sad

JON:
  that was pathetic

TRAV:
  that was my play

JON:
  that was, yeah

TRAV:
  it was chewed up and [pbbbt] spit out
  we're gonna take a break
(c) 1988 IPECAC